


Lost Heart

by pandorasv13



Series: Hearts [2]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Decisions, M/M, Mental Instability, Very long, old fic, probably confusing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:03:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 57,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12382383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: He lowered the bottle, eyes trialing over to the dark red haired boy standing in the doorway. “You’re my new roommate?”“Yeah.”The young man didn’t bother to stand up, just waved at the boy to come into the room. “I’m YoungSaeng, third year, what’s your name?”“Ryeowook, second year.”Silence passed between them as YoungSaeng studied the standing boy. There were scratches around his neck and the backs of his hands. Some faint marks could still be seen on his fair face, standing out against those seemingly delicate features. If it weren’t for the look in those eyes, YoungSaeng may have left the kid alone.He stood up walking over to a cooler in the corner of the room. Reaching inside, he pulled out another bottle of beer, tossing it to Ryeowook. “You drink?”“Sure.”





	1. Chapter 1

He lowered the bottle, eyes trialing over to the dark red haired boy standing in the doorway. “You’re my new roommate?”

“Yeah.”

The young man didn’t bother to stand up, just waved at the boy to come into the room. “I’m YoungSaeng, third year, what’s your name?”

“Ryeowook, second year.”

Silence passed between them as YoungSaeng studied the standing boy. There were scratches around his neck and the backs of his hands. Some faint marks could still be seen on his fair face, standing out against those seemingly delicate features. If it weren’t for the look in those eyes, YoungSaeng may have left the kid alone.

He stood up walking over to a cooler in the corner of the room. Reaching inside, he pulled out another bottle of beer, tossing it to Ryeowook. “You drink?”

“Sure.”

***

 

The snow had turned to slush, the slush then turned to water which rejuvenated the dead earth and brought a new beginning; a new beginning to the year, a new beginning to the semester, but most importantly a new beginning to bonds.

“Your composition is getting better, Ryeowook,” the teacher praised, studying the music score, “I’m rather surprised by the vast difference between a few months ago and now.”

Ryeowook smiled, looking down as a blush colored his pale cheeks. “Thank you. I’ve been working hard on it. I think there’s still a lot I could do with it though.” He turned back up to his teacher, seeing that the older man was nodding in agreement.

“Keep working at it. Our next lesson is in two days. Don’t forget, okay?” He handed the music score back to the red haired youth. “By the way, I was thinking about this while listening to your piece, but what would you think of incorporating some lyrics?”

Ryeowook shrugged slightly, sliding the papers into his book bag. “If I can think of some words, I might add lyrics.” He bowed respectfully before turning around and walking towards the door. It was a lie though. Ryeowook had written lyrics a long time ago. The piece was actually meant to have those words go with it. However, he didn’t want some teacher hearing his deepest feelings. They were too personal. No one was allowed to hear it. Even Ryeowook refrained from singing it or reading it too often. The emotions that welled up were too much to handle at times…or well, all the time.

Standing at the door was Sungmin, holding two cups of hot chocolate. He handed one to Ryeowook as the latter exited the practice room. “How was Composition?” Sungmin asked as the pair started down the hall.

“My teacher says I’m getting better,” Ryeowook said happily, smiling familiarly at the other. The hot drink in his hands warmed cold fingers, sending heat up through his arms. “Thank you for getting me a drink, Minnie. I was really thirsty.”

“No big deal,” Sungmin replied, returning the smile and brushing Ryeowook’s shoulder with his own, “So do you wanna get dinner?”

“Uhm, naw,” Ryeowook shook his head, “I already ate before Composition lessons. I’m just gonna go back and study Music Theory.”

“You sure?” the other boy attempted one last time, but again, he was shot down by Ryeowook’s slight head shake and gentle smile. They parted ways at the dormitory, Ryeowook entering the building whilst Sungmin headed off t the Dining Hall.

Ryeowook gazed after Sungmin for a moment, brief guilt flashing across his features. But then he was turning away, tossing the mostly full hot drink into a trash can and climbing the stairs to his dorm room. His stomach growled slightly but Ryeowook brushed it off, reaching his floor and turning down one of the hallways.

The red head unlocked the door to his room, smiling as he saw his roommate. “Hey,” Ryeowook greeted, locking the door and tossing all of his books and supplies on the floor by a desk, making it quite obvious that they would not be touched again until tomorrow. Ryeowook sat down on the floor across from YoungSaeng, sticking his hand out. “Can I have one?”

“Sure,” the third year shrugged, passing Ryeowook a dark glass bottle, “I was getting bored drinking alone.”

“Sorry, I going to come straight back, but I ran into a friend,” Ryeowook explained before sipping the bitter liquid.

“Oh, is he cute?” YoungSaeng prompted.

Ryeowook rolled his eyes, ignoring the comment. “Is class going well?” he asked knowingly. Perhaps to other people, it sounded like small talk, but between them, there was no such thing as small talk. There were jokes and then there was simple concern. They had come to realize neither of them wanted to bring weepy emotions into the mix. There was enough of that between them and their friends.

When Ryeowook and YoungSaeng were together, it was to forget and to reflect and to just let go. It was honestly they best time of the day for both of them. Ryeowook had never really liked night time until he moved in with YoungSaeng, but now he lived off of it. It was the best part of the day cycle.

“Shittier every day,” he sing-sang, “but what can you expect from a bunch wannabe singers that actually suck ass and just drag the whole class down?” Ryeowook nodded slightly, finishing half the bottle of beer. YoungSaeng fished a coin out of his pocket, flicking it into the air with a bland expression. “Call it.”

“Heads,” Ryeowook replied, watching the coin launch into the air between them. He watched it sail back down into the palm of YoungSaeng’s hand, the Tails side up. A small bitter smile curved his lips and he brought the bottle up.

“Drink up,” the older boy chuckled, leaning forward and tipping the bottle. Ryeowook opened his mouth wider, feeling the cold, foul tasting liquid slide down his throat. YoungSaeng smirked, “You can seriously deep throat huh?”

“Shut up,” Ryeowook laughed after pushing the bottle away and licking his wet lips, “I like singing. That makes throats strong, right?”

YoungSaeng shrugged, rolling his neck languorously. “Hmm, maybe that’s why…” A loud knocking at the door caught their attention. “Come in~!” the third year called cheerily. The door clicked open and a person entered the dimly lit room. Neither Ryeowook nor YoungSaeng had bothered to switch on the lights, instead relying on the bleak gray skies reflecting equally dreary light into the dorm room.

“Man, you guys need to stop drinking in the dark,” the friend remarked, flicking on the lights and setting a glass bottle of liquor on the floor, “it makes you look like alcoholics.”

“Aren’t we?” Ryeowook grunted, finishing his beer and placing the empty bottle next to the previously consumed ones. “It’s not like we have anything better to do.”

“We sing!” YoungSaeng retorted casually, grinning.

“And how much of your day is actually spent singing?” the friend sighed, laughing and slumping down on one of the beds.

“A few hours,” Ryeowook murmured, yawning and peering at the liquor bottle, “What is that?”

YoungSaeng grabbed it, taking a whiff after removing the cap. “Straight up vodka, Ryeowook,” he smirked, reaching over to snatch the red head’s chin, “Drink up, babe.” And then he pulled the younger one’s jaw down, pouring vodka down his throat.

Ryeowook swallowed the burning liquid, wincing and shoving the bottle away. A small, sputtering laugh slipped from his lips and he glared at his roommate. “Jerk, why did you do that?” he coughed, nonetheless enjoying the mind numbing pain shooting up and down his throat.

“Aw, don’t like it?” YoungSaeng mock pouted, placing the bottle down and crawling over to Ryeowook again. “Don’t be mad…you know I love you~!” he snickered, pecking the boy’s cheek.

“Back off, old man!” Ryeowook cried, giggling as he pushed the third year away. A wide grin was on his face as YoungSaeng pretended to feel hurt. “Serves you right,” he nodded approvingly and turned his attention to their friend. “Where’ve you been until now, KyuJong?”

The latter took a beer from the cooler, turning back to look at Ryeowook. “Ah, I was signing up for clubs. Tennis season is starting soon and we have conditioning until it is warm enough to start practicing outside.”

Ryeowook eyed the very obvious alcoholic beverage in KyuJong’s hand. “…Are you their star player…?”

“What?” KyuJong blinked in confusion but then glanced down at the drink in his hand and smiled sheepishly, “Well, I’m a regular this season. I swear this is my last one!” He took a swig of the foul, addictive liquid. “Or else I’ll be too fat and slow to play well.”

“Who do you guys play, KyuJong?” Ryeowook inquired.

“Just call me Kyu, Ryeowook,” the third year laughed, smiling easily.

Ryeowook’s expression faltered and he shook his head, quickly fixing his face. “I like saying your full name, KyuJong!” He grinned brightly, effectively fooling the boy.

_There’s no one named Kyu anymore…_

Sungmin sighed, tapping his pencil on the table top. Studying was always so dull. Usually he didn’t have such a hard time focusing but on that particular night, something – he wondered what – was keeping him from putting forth all his effort. Maybe it was realizing that the whole academy was a blow off school? Yeah, you could be failed, but the classes were so ridiculously easy, you would have to be set on failing to actually succeed in failing…if that makes sense.

Furthermore, there were strange things going on. No, it wasn’t about Mir or Ryeowook. Both of them seemed to be fine. They were still normal for the most part – if not a bit more stressed. Mir appeared to be caught up doing something or other with Taemin. Maybe they were a couple? Sungmin didn’t know.

As for Ryeowook…well, after Sungmin realized what happened between him and Kyuhyun he had tried to console the other boy. However, after two weeks of sulking, Ryeowook started getting better and Sungmin had no idea why. After the new term began and they got their room assignments, Ryeowook had started smiling more and although he avoided Kyuhyun and the topic of Kyuhyun like the plague, there was life in the boy. Aside from him losing weight, Sungmin wasn’t too concerned about his friend. Ryeowook couldn’t be _that_ lost without some no good, control-freak like Kyuhyun, right? In the first place, Sungmin couldn’t understand why Kyuhyun was so important to Ryeowook when it was obvious that Kyuhyun barely gave a damn about the sweet boy.

“Sungminnie, I don’t think you’re studying~,” murmured Minho as he pressed warm lips to other boy’s neck. He wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s slight frame, a smirk curving the mouth claiming the latter’s throat.

The black haired boy’s eyes widened and he yelped, struggling in Minho’s grip. “W-Where did you come from?” he hissed in the quiet dormitory library. There was no one else around, just dusty shelves and a strangely permanent musty smell.

“Dinner,” Minho replied, kissing down Sungmin’s neck, ignoring the wriggling and flailing, “I went to your room but you weren’t around. Taemin is busy with Mir. I haven’t seen Ryeowookie in ages. Where the hell is his dorm room anyway?”

“Would you stop kissing me?” Sungmin snapped, moving away from the greedy mouth. “And if you’re so bored why don’t you go play video games or read a book? I’d never tell you where Wookie’s room is. You’d probably go and molest him too.”

“I wouldn’t call this molestation,” he replied, moving his hand under the hem of Sungmin’s shirt, “however, now I might call it that.”

Sungmin scrambled away, adrenaline pumping strength into his muscles. Minho lost his hold on the boy and stepped back, smiling cheerily at the flustered Sungmin. “Stop doing that!” the smaller growled, fixing his clothes with a huff. “I’m trying to study.”

Minho snorted, crossing his arms, “You were just sitting there when I came in. I bet you haven’t even written anything for a while now.”

“S-Shut up,” Sungmin muttered, grabbing his stuff and placing it in his book bag, “I’m going back to my room.” He shrugged the bag over one shoulder, trying to bypass the boy in his way. “Move, Minho.”

“What’re you so upset about tonight?” he questioned, catching Sungmin’s chin, tilting it up. “You’re not usually so jumpy. I mean, you’re jumpy but never this bad.” Minho laughed at the glare directed at him. “You know it’s true.”

“Just thinking…,” Sungmin said softly, swallowing hard when he realized that Minho’s face was growing closer. “…stop…?” he whispered, eyes closing of their own accord as those warm lips found his own. There was something strangely comforting about the way the kiss felt. It certainly wasn’t heart stopping or anything, but it was…nice.

Would Sungmin have preferred kissing Ryeowook? Well, of course.

Every time Minho managed to steal an intimate touch, it just worked to reaffirm the feelings that Sungmin held for Ryeowook. There was special warmth – firework – that burst from his heart when Ryeowook was in his arms and returning the affection.

 

Mir backed away from the approaching honey-blonde. “T-Taemin, w-what are you doing?” he stammered, eyeing the handcuffs dangling from the slender boy’s fingers. “Where did you get those?” Mir managed between uneven breaths. The bed frame brushed the back of his knees and before he could stop himself, both legs were flying up and he found himself on the empty bed.

“I found them,” Taemin replied vaguely, climbing on top of Mir with a small, innocent smile that was truly terrifying. “Don’t you like this sort of stuff? I mean, I thought you were a masochist.”

“W-What?!?” Mir cried, scrambling to get away from the boy straddling his hips.

Taemin clicked his tongue, frowning down at the startled youth. “Why else don’t you push me off? I can’t think of any other explanation for your liking forceful behavior.”  The pretty boy snickered and captured Mir’s lips, sliding his tongue across those soft, sputtering lips.

After an insurmountable time period, Taemin broke away and Mir gasped, struggling under the slender boy. “I care about you! That’s why I don’t mind your forceful behavior!” he blurted as if those words had been bubbling up inside of him for a long time. And perhaps they were. It wouldn’t be very surprising huh?

“That’s cute,” Taemin remarked easily, squeezing the handcuff shut around Mir’s wrists after looping it around the head board, “But y’know, cute just isn’t sexy. Can’t you make some sounds for me?” He grinned, running his tongue down Mir’s jaw. “Your voice is the best.”

“C-Can’t we go on a d-date or s-something…instead?” he breathed, writhing under Taemin. Why did things always have to go that way? It wasn’t fair. How did Taemin always end up getting his way? Mir swore that they weren’t headed down that path that night. He had done nearly everything to prevent it! They even came back to Mir’s room specifically because Thunder was around all the time. But – of course – the latter just had to break that chain.

When Mir had arrived with Taemin, a note was left on the table explaining that Thunder went to a sleepover. How horribly perfect was that? So instead of bringing Taemin back for a late night chat and friendly encounter, it came off as Mir bringing the other boy back to an empty dorm room for the night. It really wasn’t like that. Really, really! You have to believe Mir. He’s just not that sort of person!

Unfortunately, Taemin didn’t really care. He had been trying to get Mir to go all the way for months and tonight was the night. No exceptions.

“Why don’t you wanna sleep with me?” Taemin asked, gazing down at the blushing boy. He ran fingers through Mir’s dark brown hair, pulling the latter into a deep kiss. Mir made a muffled noise, eyes closing reluctantly. A soft little moan vibrated through Taemin’s mouth and he smiled, using his free hand to push Mir’s shirt up. “So you do want to sleep with me?” he mumbled against Mir’s lips.

“I…I-I don’t know,” he stammered, eyes shifting off to the side, “I…I think that sex without love is pointless…that’s all…”

Taemin gave the boy’s words a moment’s thought before shrugging and jerking Mir’s belt loose. “Sex and love aren’t that closely related. It might be good for keeping bodily order or whatever but really, they’re separate things aren’t they?”

“Your mind and body need to agree…to make the experience the best, right?” Mir murmured, swallowing a groan as fingers danced over his clothed member.

“…I don’t know,” Taemin replied, “but I wanna fuck you. Is that bad? Actually, don’t answer that. You’ll spoil the mood like you always do.” He chuckled, covering Mir’s mouth with his own.

Mir sighed internally. There was no way to get out of that night’s activities it seemed.

 

Kyuhyun gently pressed his lips to Zhoumi’s forehead. The lights were off in their room, moonlight pouring through the square window. Nothing disturbed the night, not even the rustling of dead tree branches against glass. There was only the soft murmuring of air and other residents, but for the most part, the couple didn’t listen to it. They were wrapped up in each other, figuratively and quite literally.

The older boy cuddled close to his lover, arms wrapped around his upper torso. Their bodies were close together beneath the warm, thick blankets, skin contact keeping the heat centralized. All of their clothing had been discarded, tossed around the room carelessly. In fact, a trail could almost be found leading to the bed.

“Are you tired?” Kyuhyun asked softly, absently kissing Zhoumi’s hair.

“Mm, yeah,” the third year mumbled sweetly, enjoying the warmth radiating from his lover, “we should go to sleep soon, don’t you think?”

“Math Team is over for the season…there’s nothing to worry about tomorrow,” the younger replied.

“Well we have to find a new club don’t we?” Zhoumi chuckled. He closed his eyes slowly, nuzzling Kyuhyun’s neck tenderly. “There are a lot of cool things to do…I think. We’ll find something. Or well…you’ll find something.”

Kyuhyun frowned, “What do you mean?”

“I’m taking over KUG,” Zhoumi muttered, sleep overtaking him, “there’ll be no time to do clubs…”

“You’re ditching me, Mi?” his lover whined playfully.

“Go to sleep Kyu~,” he sighed, murmuring some incoherent thought afterwards. The older boy’s body grew limp in Kyuhyun’s arms and his breathing became even.

“Cute,” the second year whispered near Zhoumi’s ear before snuggling closer and tightening the arms he had around the boy.

This was the life. This was what Kyuhyun had always wanted. There was no one to worry about. There was no one dragging him behind. Zhoumi could take care of himself and he was absolutely, positively gorgeous in every way. To describe the difference Kyuhyun felt those days would be impossible because quite simply, the difference was too vast. Being someone’s lover rather than their caretaker had so many perks. No longer did Kyuhyun spend his waking hours worrying if his most important person was eating enough, or staying out of trouble, or feeling unwell. With Zhoumi…everything was perfect. There was never a reason to distress.

The boy was exquisite. How could someone so great be anything less than flawless? In Kyuhyun’s eyes, it wasn’t opinion. He _knew_ that Zhoumi was the ideal lover. And for once in a long history of pain, Kyuhyun had possession of something – someone – who could make him feel completely at ease.

Love was a magical thing, hmm?

 


	2. Chapter 2

Ryeowook slowly opened his eyes, blinking and looking around. He checked the clock and groaned out loud, rolling onto his side. A squishy pillow smacked the back of his head and he turned, glaring bleary eyed at YoungSaeng across the way. “Why’d you do that?” Ryeowook grumbled, trying to stifle the familiar pounding in the back of his head.

“Drink too much last night?” YoungSaeng grunted, climbing out of bed only to flop down beside the second year. He threw one arm around Ryeowook’s waist, yawning and closing his eyes tiredly.

“Mmhmm…,” he muttered, “it’s already four in the afternoon. We missed all our classes…” Ryeowook didn’t really have anything important to do that day, but it was always annoying to know that he had missed out on an entire day. There was something similar to disappointment whenever he slept in. It meant that he hadn’t done anything…that—

“You lied to KyuJong didn’t you?” YoungSaeng remarked, gazing at Ryeowook.

“…about what?” he replied, vaguely returning the stare.

YoungSaeng was quiet for a moment but then he sighed and ruffled Ryeowook’s hair. “I’m not gonna push you. Just tell me when you want to.” He smiled drowsily, sticking his tongue out.

Ryeowook stifled a small smile, eyes falling closed as he leaned closer to the third year. “We should wake up. Dinner is really soon right?”

“Gonna eat today?”

“Yeah, can’t drink anymore,” Ryeowook replied softly, “too nauseous…”

“I could go for some real food too,” the other answered, hugging Ryeowook and pulling the blanket closer around them, “in a little bit. I’m fucking tired, man.”

The younger nodded, somewhat relieved that he wouldn’t have to admit that his entire being was killing him. It felt like someone was pressing a knife down the center of his brain, daring to rip the two halves apart. “Why did you drink so much?” Ryeowook mumbled.

“I thought we were having a contest.”

“That’s a bad joke.”

YoungSaeng grinned slightly, absently running his fingertips through Ryeowook’s soft hair, “I thought it was pretty good. I’m gonna go back to sleep so shut it.”

Ryeowook didn’t reply, just evened out his breathing and fought back the nausea.

Sleep sounded good. But anything that allowed him to close his eyes and go to a better place, a different time…was good.

 

_The room was empty except for me. All of the other kids were older and played with their own friends. I played with them sometimes but they just liked bullying me. But a bunch of them were also adopted or sent to other homes. Usually I had to play by myself._

_All of the walls were an old reddish brown color. The drapes were ragged and a sickly off white color. There were stains on them but all of us had gotten used to it. Three windows lined the wall directly across from the open door. Wooden bars segmented the dusty glass panels. Fingerprints could be seen where some of us would draw when we were bored. Six beds occupied the dim space, three on each side. There was a small space beneath the windows where a rug was laid out. Old toys were carelessly tossed there._

_I was playing with a teddy bear, making him combat a robot. My bear was winning of course. Right when he was about to knock the robot over though, someone walked into the room. It was my floor’s caretaker, Mrs. Kim. She had her hair tied back in a tight bun and an apron knotted around her round stomach._

_“Hi, Mrs. Kim,” I greeted, standing up and putting the teddy bear on the rug._

_“Ryeowook meet Kyuhyun,” she stated, nudging a small, dark haired boy forward, “he’ll be living with us from now on.”_

_The boy was stone faced, eyes black and cold. His skin was pale, mouth a flat line. There seemed to be bruises covering both his arms. He was really cute though. I wanted to hold his hand and make the pain go away. The caretakers always told me that you can make the pain go away by giving kisses and hugs._

_“Hi, Kyuhyun,” I said, smiling and taking his hand because that’s what I wanted to do._

_“…hi,” he replied, staring at our clasped hands, “how old are you?”_

_I paused, counting my fingers. When I ran out, I lifted our hands up and used his fingers to count too. “Ah, I’m six! How old are you?”_

_“I just turned six,” Kyuhyun answered, a very faint smile crossing his face._

_“Oh, that’s good!”_

_“Why?”_

_I grinned, pulling him farther into the room. “That means we can play forever and neither of us will ever be alone again.”_

_Kyuhyun stared at me with his dark, sad eyes. “…do you promise?”_

_“Mm-hm!” I nodded firmly and kissed his scratched up hand. “Pain, pain go away~ come again another day—oops! I mean, don’t come back again. How do you make that rhyme?”_

_He shrugged and I could feel his hand tighten around mine…_

“—up! Wake up, Ryeowook!” YoungSaeng called, shaking the boy awake.

The younger grunted, eyes fluttering open as he clambered up on his elbows, “Hmm? What’s going on?” Ryeowook rubbed the sleep out of eyes, scooting a bit away from the boy beside him.

“Dinner ends in half an hour. Let’s go,” YoungSaeng replied in a low voice, climbing out of bed and stretching.

“…Do we have to eat?” Ryeowook muttered eyes lowered upon nothing.

“What the hell were you dreaming about?” the third year inquired, raising an eyebrow and dragging Ryeowook to his feet. “Aren’t you the one that wanted to eat?” He grinned and slung an arm around the slender boy’s shoulders.

Ryeowook nodded slowly, “Ah, yeah that’s true I guess…and y’know how I said I don’t want to drink tonight?” They slipped on shoes and shuffled towards the door, jackets in hand.

“You wanna drink?” YoungSaeng murmured teasingly.

“Yeah, I really do,” Ryeowook answered softly, leaning closer to the third year.

The latter peered at the young boy from the corner of his eye. Quietly, he patted Ryeowook’s head and said, “Let’s throw a fucking huge party. And tomorrow we’ll swallow some aspirin and take cold showers and head off to class.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ryeowook grinned.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Minho felt someone tap his shoulder, stirring him awake from what had been a rather nice nap. He glared at the disturbance, eyes bleary. “What?” the boy mumbled, trying to lower his head again.

The guy tapped a note, nudging it towards the other before quickly turning away. At the front of the classroom, the teacher was droning away about biology…maybe. Minho wasn’t exactly positive. The last time he had fully focused on his studies was years ago. There was just no point when he didn’t give a damn about anything but eating, sleeping, and music – though it seemed as if everyone could agree that music was salvation.

Each and every person who attended the academy only stayed at attention during music class. There was nothing else they liked to be frank. Perhaps from a professional’s standpoint, they would say “as children, you need an escape and music is a convenient way to do so” at least, that’s what they always told Minho.

Whatever, they were loons.

He unfolded the note, indifferently reading the scribbled words.

_Party in Dorm 3 Room 34_

_Tonight 8_

_Bring drinks and food_

Minho passed the note on, not caring either way to record the information. The boy didn’t like to drink, plain and simple. When he drank it was around friends and only friends. He knew what parties like those were like and they weren’t anything to brag about. Getting into messy shit wasn’t his thing anymore.

“Why did you give me this?” Sungmin whispered, blanching at the note in his hand.

Oh, he had forgotten that Sungmin sat next to him. Minho grinned, swiping the note away and handing it off to some other person. “Sorry,” he mouthed, snickering and cuddling back into his folded arms upon the desk.

The other boy just rolled his eyes and went back to studiously taking notes. Minho turned his head, staring at Sungmin. The boy was just too cute, huh? Of course, Minho told him that every day. It wasn’t his fault Sungmin didn’t listen. Weren’t people supposed to take compliments? Why did he always get ignored? Those were real, honest to goodness words. Minho frowned to himself. Maybe they came off mocking…naw, that couldn’t be it. Why would he bother mocking Sungmin? His time would be better spent trying to get in the boy’s pants, right?

 

Classes ended for the day and Minho left the room, yawning and blinking away tired tears. He just wanted to get back to the dorms and sleep. Every day was _so_ aggravatingly boring. There was nothing knew going on. All of the holidays and breaks weren’t for another few weeks. The teachers were dull and fat – from all of the lazing around and eating holidays. Furthermore, there was something strange going on; he couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was definitely something wrong…something out of place.

At first, Minho guessed it was the strangely happy expression Taemin produced whenever the boy’s phone vibrated with a text message alert. But then again, that wasn’t _bad_ so it had to be something else.

And so he thought about Sungmin again, a ritual that had been going on for far longer than anyone, including himself, had expected. But again, perhaps there was nothing wrong there. They were still conversing well – sort of – and at this point Sungmin wasn’t pushing him away with as much force as before. The kid was probably giving in.

Right! Ryeowook…where had the kid been lately? Before, Minho had always seen Ryeowook prancing along with Sungmin or in other situations, following that Kyuhyun guy. He briefly met the latter a month or so earlier. It wasn’t much of a memorable meeting, but Kyuhyun was one of those people that you meet and get stuck on. When you try to forget them or not try more often than not they just pop back up when you’re seeking an answer.

Anyway, what the hell was the kid up to? Minho had tried getting his room number but Sungmin always refused to give it out. To that day he _still_ didn’t know where Ryeowook lived; just how sad was that? He wanted to punch all of the people who had known and didn’t tell him. Well, that was a slight overstatement. But those people did piss him off just a tad.

A text arrived. Minho pulled out his phone, opening the message.

**Taeminnie~ says: I’m gonna eat Mir for dinner so find someone else to hang with tonight :3**

**Love you lots, Minwhore <3**

Minho scoffed at the nickname. The kid must’ve been pretty excited about something if he was using so many obvious euphemisms. He pulled up a reply message:

**I say: Stay out of the dorm room. I don’t wanna come back to that -__- Tired today**

**Taeminnie~ says: :O Fine…we’ll have fun in his room again**

He slipped the phone back into his pocket, striding towards the dining hall. If he found out that they were doing stuff in the room again, Minho swore he would cut off that pretty honey blonde hair. At least then the day would be different from the rest.

“Wookie, you already finished eating?”

Minho slowed down as he was about to turn the corner to the dining hall. That was Sungmin talking wasn’t it? He glanced around the bend, seeing a strange scene. There was a group of maybe four of five guys, including Ryeowook, walking away from the building. Sungmin was alone, presumably meeting up with someone inside or maybe just grabbing a quick bite before going back to do homework.

Ryeowook inched closer to an older looking boy, probably a third year. “Yeah, we already got some food. Sorry Minnie,” he replied, smiling weakly.

“No don’t apologize,” Sungmin stated, returning the expression with a hint of confusion, “I understand so no worries. Oh I wanted to know if you’re going to work the Spring Musical. If you are, our new President is closing sign ups soon.”

The older boy nudged Ryeowook subtly. “I have to go right now,” Ryeowook said, shrugging helplessly at Sungmin, “but I promise I’ll talk to the President at the next meeting or something. The Spring Musical should be fun.” Then the boy was walking off with the group, sticking close to the one who had been pushing for him to finish up the already brief conversation.

However, Ryeowook didn’t seem to mind. His eyes were focused on the words and stories being told in the tight knit circle; his expression one of acceptance and comfort. Sungmin though hadn’t seen it as he already turned away, walking up the short steps to the building.

Minho shot one more look at Ryeowook’s receding group before catching up to Sungmin. He caught the latter’s wrist, stopping him momentarily. “Sungminnie~! Wanna eat together?”

“U-Uh, sure?” Sungmin mumbled, apparently perplexed by the request. He was used to Minho simply joining him without invitation.

The taller boy grinned, patting Sungmin’s shoulder and leading the way into the dining hall. “I hear there’s something yummy on the menu tonight.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Zhoumi peered nervously at Eunhyuk. They were standing in the back office of KUG, the entire underground club eerily quiet. No one, aside from the staff, had ever been around while the place was… _empty._ Not scarcely filled, but legitimately _empty._ It was freaky to say the least.

“Let’s get this over with,” Zhoumi sighed, rubbing his cold hands together. He wanted to get back to Kyuhyun’s warm bed and snuggled up with his boyfriend for the night. Soon enough it would be too hot for them to hug like that. The third year had to savor his time with the young boy.

Eunhyuk cocked an eyebrow, amusement curving his lips. “Why are you in such a rush, Mimi? It’s not like your boy toy is going anywhere right?”

In the past Zhoumi may have blushed or become hostile but now the taunting was almost nice. He liked having people acknowledge the relationship. It made it feel more…real, as if they weren’t just playing a newlywed couple. Hey, maybe someday they would be newlyweds…you never knew, right? And it didn’t hurt anyone for Zhoumi to dream, just a little.

“I want to go to bed, that’s all,” the third year replied, looking around the cluttered space. Stacks and stacks of reports, paperwork, and other miscellaneous documents filled the two opposing bookshelves to the brim. Most were held together with rubber bands and ill fitting folders – a common technique in smaller, private businesses. There were a few random objects on the top of the shelves, but Zhoumi didn’t care to know what they were or what they were for. At that point, all Zhoumi felt like doing was walking out of the room, heading home with his head lowered, and embracing the heat. KUG in the winter _and_ after hours was like a fucking freezer.

Eunhyuk nodded, crossing his arms absently. “No kidding. I have to drive back to the University tonight.” That’ll be a nice, dark, boring ten minute drive.

Abruptly, the door of the office opened and in came a young man – somewhere around seventeen or sixteen. His hair must have shaven, the other half long and deep red. Feral-eyes raked over Zhoumi’s body, examining the latter like a predator and its prey.

“Are you the one Kangin sent over?” Eunhyuk questioned.

“Yeah, I’m Key, third year,” he replied, eyes trailing back to Zhoumi, “What’s your name?”

“Zhoumi, third year,” he said, heart pounding a bit at the sudden introduction, “it’s nice to meet you Key. I hope we can get along during this project.” Zhoumi offered his hand, expecting the boy to take it.

But he didn’t. Instead, Key just side stepped the other, taking a seat in Kangin’s old chair. “I like it here. I think I could make a lot of improvements, especially to this shitty office.” He chuckled to himself, spinning around in the red leather seat.

“That’s good and all, but you and Zhoumi will be working together so get along, okay?” Eunhyuk remarked, leaning over the desk to give Key a stern look.

The younger paused, seeming to give thought to the warning. He shrugged after all, smirking at the university student. “Yeah whatever. I’ll do what I want as Kangin’s successor. Besides, this place has one more year in it and then we’re shutting it down for good. Who cares?”

“Why would Kangin pick a brat like you?” Zhoumi muttered, glaring disdainfully at the cocky kid. If anyone couldn’t stand an attitude like that, it was Kangin. The only one allowed to act so…bitchy, was probably Kangin himself, though the large man probably wouldn’t call it that.

Key had heard the remark and turned his oddly shaped eyes to Zhoumi. “He chose me because he knows I’m good with design. Why else?” he scoffed, laughing roughly. “And you got picked because you can do all of those profit things. I don’t like math so you can use the other room to do all of the accounting. We’re renovating this one—”

“—Don’t make plans until you’ve got KUG running,” Eunhyuk interrupted, effectively making the young boy glare and pout. There was no arguing that point after all. “Pick a date for reopening and then get the news around by word of mouth. Don’t do any of that writing down shit. That’s how you get ratted out. Teukie-hyung isn’t around to save our asses if something bad happens and Kangin is long gone too. If anyone finds out about KUG this year, it’ll be hell.”

Zhoumi nodded vigorously, eyes wide and focused on the information. Nearly the complete opposite, Key just let his head rise and fall once, indifferently. He waved his hand meaninglessly, or maybe it was a flourish to indicate to Eunhyuk it was time for the older boy to get out.

“Lock up when you’re about to leave okay?” Eunhyuk called once more, before pulling on his jacket and leaving the office.

That left Zhoumi and Key. The latter smirked, waving a hand for Zhoumi to come closer. He reached out, catching the standing boy’s collar and jerking him close enough that the tips of their noses were brushing. Key’s eyes sparked and he said, “Let’s get something straight you little whore. I know _all_ about you. I know about what you had going with Eunhyuk and honestly, I think you’re just a little shit face that’s getting special treatment because you’re fucking some powerful dude.”

Zhoumi’s eyes widened, lips parting in more than a little shock. But Key wasn’t done, far from it by the look in his dark, livid gaze. “So here’s the deal. We’re gonna work together. That’s all cool. But you’re staying in that shabby little room in the back, filling out paperwork and order forms. I’ll be here running the club.”

“B-But we’re supposed to—”

Key shoved Zhoumi away, disgust written all over his face. “Yeah, whatever. Like I wanna work closely with some gay fucker,” he spat, “just stay away from me. We can run this club just fine with minimal communication.”

Zhoumi turned away, striding steadfastly towards the door. Tears were welling up in his eyes, lips trembling uncomfortably. Why the hell was he being bashed by some bitchy effeminate? Lord, he didn’t even _want_ to run KUG so why was he getting all this?

Just as Zhoumi was about to escape, Key called out to him, “And another thing _Mimi_ , I’m not gonna fall for you. Count on that. The last thing I want is some unfaithful tramp beside me.” He barked out a short laugh, the squeaking of the leather chair accompanying him. “But I guess your boyfriend doesn’t know about that huh? Better keep it that way, or else he’ll leave your sorry ass.”

Why was Zhoumi taking all of it without complaint? Well…he couldn’t argue no matter how much he wanted to. Key was a fucking asshole, spoiled brat but…he didn’t lie. That’s the one thing that made someone as bad as Key, _still_ better than Zhoumi.

How sad was that?

 


	5. Chapter 5

Sungmin and Minho trudged into the dormitory, both of them red faced and chilly from the early spring, late winter air. It was a tad disconcerting what with a blistery wind whipping them in the face every few seconds. All of the warm food filling their stomachs had been reduced to nothing after the short walk back to the dorms. Even though both of them had easily consumed two or three helpings of food, they were once again left with nearly empty stomachs.

“What are you up to tonight?” Minho asked, taking off his jacket and scarf.

Sungmin sneezed, shaking his head warily. “I think I’m just gonna sleep…too tired to do anything else.” He shrugged off the heavy coat, revealing the white and pink striped sweater received a few months earlier.

A smirk touched Minho’s lips and he caught Sungmin around the waist, pulling him close. “You really like that sweater huh?”

“Huh?” the latter looked down, blinking several times before he finally processed what he was wearing. “…I-It’s a nice sweater! I don’t think about _you_ when I wear it!” he snapped. The boy was surely blushing, but the cold had made his cheeks indefinably red.

Minho nodded slowly, disbelieving. “Okay,” he replied, suppressing a laugh, “I bet what’s under that sweater is _way_ better…” He slid his hand underneath the back, cold fingers spiking Sungmin’s spine.

The shorter cried out, pressing forward to try and get away from the teasing hand. Instead of escaping, wasn’t it more like getting closer? He looked up, seeing Minho’s face practically on his. Sungmin wasn’t prepared when he felt lips on his and he definitely wasn’t prepared when Minho was suddenly crushing their bodies together. Normally the taller boy liked seducing him into a kiss but apparently not that evening.

Sungmin cried out but it was muffled by the deepening kiss. His eyes forcefully closed, hands awkwardly finding leverage on Minho’s upper arms. He heard both of their coats drop to the ground but it was mere background noise the longer he swam in the heat building between them.

“Keep it in the bedroom you Stupid-Bunny.”

They broke apart, mainly because Sungmin found a surge of energy and shoved the other away. He touched his somewhat swollen lips as he turned wide eyes to the one who had caught them.

Kyuhyun walked alone through the commons of their dorm, a signature smirk on his lips as he looked down – not literally – on Sungmin’s shameless public affection. “I don’t care much, but seeing it makes me wanna hurl,” he added, before ascending the stairs, not leaving Sungmin any chance to rebut.

Minho followed the dark wavy haired boy, contemplating what exactly he had to do with Sungmin. Why did he call him that name? Better yet, why the hell was Minho the only one out of the loop? He bet even Mir and Taemin – even with all of their “quality time” – still knew more about the situation than him.

Ugh, forget it. He was going giving up. He just didn’t give a shit anymore. If everyone wanted to keep stuff from him he’d let it be because seriously, there was no point in trying to figure out when it was futile. Instead, Minho should’ve been focusing on other matters…like doing what that Kyuhyun guy said. “Sungminnie…,” he cooed, taking the other’s hand, “let’s go do stuff.”

“What?” Sungmin mumbled, distant eyes turning to Minho.

A frown morphed the latter’s face and he shook his head. “What’s up with you?” He let go of Sungmin’s hand, surprised by the sudden change in attitude. Where were the shoving and yelling and blushing?

“Nothing…uhm, I’m seriously tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something,” he mumbled.

Minho let go of the boy out of pure shock. That was the most normal conversation they had ever had. What the hell… Was it really because of that Kyuhyun guy? Before Minho could ask Sungmin anything, the latter was already halfway up the stairs, somehow having grabbed his jacket and stuff along the way.

Once the boy was out of sight, Minho checked the time. “8:10…,” he muttered. Man, the day sucked ass. He remembered the invitation and grudgingly headed out into the cold again, going towards Dorm 3.

 

***

 

It wasn’t like he _wanted_ to drink. He just wanted a hook up or something. Maybe a little partying with douches and drunkards would take his mind off of everything – namely Sungmin and Kyuhyun. Did Minho want to know about them? Hell yes. Was he going to _try_ and learn about them? No. This is because, again, he had realized something. The world just didn’t want him to know anything. They wanted to keep him in the dark and that was why he had absolutely no idea what was going on with any of his friends (?)

After about a five minute walk, Minho got to the other dorm building. Shrugging the jacket and outer wear off, he hanged it on a post by the door before proceeding inwards. He couldn’t remember the room number but by the sounds of the blasting music, it was pretty obvious where he should go. Parties in Dorm 3 were no surprise. They happened at least three times a week and pretty much everyone was invited, so long as you weren’t a freshman.

This was not the first party Minho attended but fuck if it wasn’t the only one he would ever remember.

Deep into the back of the third floor, the music got the loudest. All of the doors were open and there were drunk third years and second years bumbling out, some with “buddies” and others alone who would, eventually, have “buddies” of their own.

A random person handed a beer to him and after giving Minho a once over, winked and sauntered off. The second year shook his head distastefully and set the beer bottle down near a couple making out on the floor. They could have it when they came up for air.

He travelled deeper into the hall, finding the room near the middle to be the loudest and most insufferable. Minho peered inside, smirking at what he saw. Of course all of the hot ones would be crowded in one area, hell they were probably the ones who started the party. He stepped fully into the room, seeing one boy in particular who returned his gaze.

Just as he was about to walk over and introduce himself, a loud noise from the other side of the room stopped him. Minho leaned back, shifting on his feet to see what was going on. And honestly, made he shouldn’t have turned around.

Sitting on the other bed was Ryeowook and that third year from earlier that day. The latter was holding a bottle up to the younger one’s open mouth, pouring a clear liquid down his throat. Ryeowook pushed the guy away, giggling and coughing a bit. He took someone else’s, presumably a friend’s, drink and forced it down the third year’s mouth. “It’s revenge YoungSaeng hyung,” Ryeowook stated drunkenly blushing and placing a wet kiss on the other’s lips.

Minho didn’t know he was doing it when he did it, but somehow, he was gripping Ryeowook’s wrist and dragging him out of the room. There were grunts and shouts of disapproval but no one came out to take Ryeowook back.

“W-What are you doing here, Minho?” Ryeowook shouted over the loud music. His heart had dropped at the sight of the angry boy.

The livid second year pushed Ryeowook into the public bathroom and then into a changing stall where the music was basically drowned out. He snatched the small boy’s chin, jerking his face up. “ _What the hell do you think you’re doing?!_ ”

“N-Nothing,” Ryeowook stammered, horrified by the pure rage in the other’s eyes, “I swear I…I mean…”

Minho’s fingers pressed sharply into the boy’s jaw, causing him to wince in pain. “You were _drinking_ and _screwing around_ with some guy! What are you trying to do Ryeowook?!” he nearly screamed, so unbelievably aggravated and pissed he was having a hard time not shoving the boy.

“I’m not trying to do anything,” he whispered, tears brimming his eyes, “you have to believe me Minho…this was a onetime thing. I won’t do this again.” And in a way it was true. Ryeowook had never initiated a kiss with YoungSaeng before. As for the drinking…

“…Why would you even do this in the first place?” Minho ground out, trying hard to control himself.

“I just wanted to get my mind off of things…,” Ryeowook replied softly, tears streaking his thin face, “…don’t you understand Minho? That’s why you came tonight too right?”

He was caught. Swallowing hard, Minho loosened his grip on the boy’s face, looking away as he said, “Yeah…it is. But I wasn’t planning on drinking. I just wanted a hook up.”

“But you still came tonight,” Ryeowook persisted between gulps of air.

“Yeah I know…,” Minho sighed. There was a short silence and then he took Ryeowook’s hand, leading him out of the bathroom. “We shouldn’t even be here,” he remarked, “grab you coat, I’ll take you back to your dorm, okay?”

Ryeowook paused, but then nodded and walked back into the main party room, grabbed his coat off the desk and followed Minho out. He didn’t bother to look at YoungSaeng who was busy messing around with someone. “I’m ready,” Ryeowook mumbled, reaching out to take Minho’s hand again. His mind was swimming a bit but that was alright. He was used to it.

“Okay,” Minho murmured, leading the boy downstairs. He grabbed his coat on the way, letting go of Ryeowook’s hand for a split second so he could pull on the jacket. They left the building, marching through the cold night air.

Neither spoke, didn’t dare to speak really.

Both of them had made mistakes and it didn’t seem right to bash on each other. They had gone through hell together before and now, somehow, they had fallen into a secretive situation again. It was a silent promise. The night would be buried with them alone – and any future occurrences would suffer the same fate.

“Where’s your room?” Minho inquired after they entered Dorm 2.

Ryeowook pointed up the stairs, carefully leading the way up. He just needed to pick a random room and hope that it was empty. Once he got Minho to leave then he could just head back to the party…or maybe he wouldn’t. Ryeowook pondered the possibilities as he brushed his hand over each door on the second floor, feeling for sound vibrations. It took a few tries, but then he found a deathly silent one and quietly unlocked it – sure enough, it was open, vacant. “We’re here,” he announced softly, stepping into the dark room.

“Then get some rest,” Minho stated, ruffling Ryeowook’s hair affectionately, “if you need anything, you know where Sungmin is and I’m on the third floor, room 32.”

Ryeowook nodded faintly, smiling reassuringly at his friend before closing the door.

Minho turned away from the shut door, wondering if the old superstition was true. The second you stop looking for something, it comes looking for you. Or in this case, the second he stopped fussing over secrets, suddenly secrets were being shoved in his face.

 

Inside, moonlight drenched the room, turning everything blue and black. There were two beds, both empty and cold. He laid down on one, taking a long deep breath. What the hell was he doing? Why did he lie to Minho like that?

Better yet, was doing all of this worth it? Would it make Kyuhyun look at him again? Was drowning himself in alcohol going to make anything better? Ryeowook had been positive he could escape if he just did that. If he just wrecked his body maybe his heart would finally shut down and he wouldn’t have to feel pain anymore. Maybe then Kyuhyun wouldn’t hate him so profusely. More than that, Ryeowook wouldn’t have to worry about being hated anymore.

Minho yelling at him though was like a slap in the face. He was doing something dangerous, truly dangerous. It was passing self-pity wasn’t it? Ryeowook rolled over, gazing at the blank white wall. Kyuhyun meant the world to him…but what world? When people lost their world, did they go out to seek a new one? Isn’t that the healthy alternative?

Voices boomed through the thin wall, causing Ryeowook to jump and sit up. He had forgotten how thin the walls were. After a second’s pause, his eyes widened, realizing whose voice he heard.

“Mi, what’s wrong?” Kyuhyun asked, the sound of shifting bed sheets following. Ryeowook knew he shouldn’t have been listening…and yet, he was.

Zhoumi sounded as if he were crying, the words muffled and disjointed.

“Don’t worry, I’m here,” Kyuhyun stated soothingly, his deep voice reverberating off the walls. There was silence for a few more moments, but then Ryeowook caught the sound of mattress springs creaking.

For the second time that night, his heart dropped, except at this point it didn’t feel like it was going to rise. Ryeowook wiped his eyes out of habit and sure enough, the tears were already there. There was no way to pull himself out right? This…This was what he was meant to feel. Someone was punishing him, telling him that there wasn’t anything he could do.

That’s why the gods were teasing him right? That’s why they showed him warmth through Minho and then tore him apart again. It was so easy to play with a weak character like Ryeowook’s. That’s what they must’ve been thinking.

He wasn’t going to try and prove them wrong anymore. Obviously it just hurt more when he tried to do something. Climbing off of the bed, Ryeowook walked to the door, leaving the room.

The teetering boy ghosted through the halls, down the steps and out the door. He travelled through the cold, not bothering to zip up his jacket or fix his loose scarf.

Standing outside of the Dorm 3 building was a lone figure but one that Ryeowook recognized in a second. YoungSaeng waited for the younger boy to climb the stairs before questioning him. “Where did you go? And who was that guy?” He studied Ryeowook’s crying face, sighing softly.

“He was no one,” Ryeowook whispered, taking YoungSaeng’s hand and pulling him into the building, “YoungSaeng…?”

The third year gazed down at his roommate’s back, stopping in the commons of the building. Ryeowook leaned his head back, large eyes dark and empty. “Yeah?” YoungSaeng prompted quietly.

“I don’t feel well…” And then he was falling forward.

***

Doctor Choi rubbed the bridge of his nose warily. YoungSaeng glanced at the doctor questioningly. It took a few moments for him to noticed but once he did, the Dr. Choi explained, “Ryeowook has been coming to the Infirmary far too frequently. It makes me worried every time I see someone carrying him in after he has collapsed.”

“Oh…it’s not a onetime thing?” YoungSaeng asked, glancing back at the now sleeping boy.

“This time it’s nothing serious,” Dr. Choi said, sounding thankful, “but I am concerned about his condition acting up. Do you happen to know either Lee Sungmin or Cho Kyuhyun? They’re both second years but they’re the ones mainly taking care of Ryeowook in these situations.”

YoungSaeng shook his head. “I just met Ryeowook this year. He’s never really told me much about his friends.”

The doctor nodded understandingly, reaching for his cell phone. “Alright, well you can head back to your dorm. I’ll call one of them and explain the situation. You don’t have to worry,” he smiled and nodded towards the door, “go home and get some rest.”

Slowly getting up, the third year headed towards the door. He wasn’t particularly miffed or anything. Yeah, Ryeowook collapsing had freaked the shit out of him, but…whose fault was it? YoungSaeng wasn’t about to blame himself. If Ryeowook had told him about his health condition earlier, then the older boy would’ve felt guiltier.

It wasn’t his problem. The kid was supposed to know how to take care of himself. You can’t baby someone their whole lives, especially when he obviously doesn’t _want_ anyone taking care of him, including himself. YoungSaeng had known since the moment they met that Ryeowook was trying to destroy…something, apparently his body.

So let him be that’s what YoungSaeng thought. If he were in Ryeowook’s position, he definitely wouldn’t have wanted anyone butting in and telling him to get it together…at least, before he could accept that there was something wrong.

Dr. Choi dialed Kyuhyun’s number, listening to the connection establish itself. A moment or two passed and then a groggy, deep voice answered, “Hello?”

“Ah, Kyuhyun, sorry for waking you up,” the doctor said in that soothing, professional voice all physicians seem to have, “I realize it’s already a quarter to twelve but Ryeowook collapsed earlier this evening—”

“—How did he collapse?” the boy’s voice was suddenly sharp, alert.

Dr. Choi leaned back in his chair, saying, “I’m not sure myself. It may be from lack of nutrition and sleep but I can’t say for certain. His roommate brought him in, though I’m wondering why you aren’t his roommate anymore. Wouldn’t that be easier?”

“…I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He ended the call.

The doctor let out a sigh, running fingers through his hair as he waited for the boy to arrive.

 

Kyuhyun pulled on clothes, jacket, and shoes. Behind him, Zhoumi was sitting up in bed, confused and tired. He held a bed sheet up to his stark body, having awoken because of the departure of Kyuhyun’s warmth. It was too chilly and lonely without the other boy around to hold him through the nights.

“Kyu…?” Zhoumi mumbled, but the door was slammed shut, effectively cutting him off.

The dark haired second year, half ran down the hall, exiting the dorm building in ten seconds flat. He ignored the cold wind slicing his face and neck, anger fueling his movements. Why was Ryeowook so _stupid_ and irresponsible? This was why Kyuhyun had left him. He always pulled this crap and made Kyuhyun worry…even back when they were just kids...

_“I bet you’re too chicken to climb up there!” A group of bullies from the foster home laughed. They were challenging Kyuhyun, daring him to do what all of them were obviously afraid to attempt._

_“No I’m not,” Kyuhyun snapped, going up the stairs and towards the high slide. He wanted to see the look on all of their faces, the ones that said they were stupid and embarrassed because they lost a playground challenge. Kyuhyun grabbed one of the colorful railing, crawling over the paint coated metal and securing his feet on top of the rail._

_All of the kids stared in disbelief, one of them running off with the words, “I’m gonna tell Mrs. Kim!” And then the others ran off as well to help support their friend’s claim._

_Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, still standing easily on the hand hold. They were all such wimps. If they won then they would tease and laugh at Kyuhyun but if they lost they would go and tell on Kyuhyun for doing something “bad”. It was such a vicious, stupid cycle._

_“Kyu!” Ryeowook called from the bottom of the slides. He was staring up at the brave eight year old who stood proudly on the railing of the largest park slide. “Don’t hurt yourself!”_

_The boy simply smirked, waving for Ryeowook to come up with him. When the latter shook his head, Kyuhyun frowned and made a face. “Why are you so scared, Wookie? Just come up here and we’ll have more fun!”_

_“B-But…what if I fall?” he answered, eyes large and fearful._

_Kyuhyun snorted, placing a hand on the bright blue sphere decorating the top of a support pillar. “I won’t let you fall so come up here. Don’t you trust me?”_

_The child paused, thinking about it for a split second. His eyes were moving back and forth uncertainly. Kyuhyun made an impatient noise, causing Ryeowook to jump a bit. Apparently making up his mind, Ryeowook walked over to the stairs, climbing them carefully. He made it to the top, grinning tentatively up at Kyuhyun. “I-I did it…”_

_“Good, now just get up here,” the dark haired boy stated, offering his hand to the surprisingly panting Ryeowook._

_“U-Uh, this is high enough, Kyu…,” Ryeowook mumbled, looking around uneasily. It was really high after all._

_“C’mon, you can do it Wookie,” Kyuhyun urged, reaching down to take his friend’s hand._

_Ryeowook hesitantly reached out, taking his friend’s hand. At the last second though, he pulled back, eyes watering a bit from fear. He shook his head, hands shaking. “I-I’m sorry Kyu…I’m really scared right now. I don’t think I can do anything else…”_

_“…Fine,” Kyuhyun sighed, “just go back down and play with someone else.”_

_“B-But I still want to play with you!” Ryeowook argued sadly._

_Kyuhyun returned the look but didn’t climb down. He had his pride as a brave kid. How could he just climb down now so he could play on the ground level with Ryeowook? Everyone at the house would call him a weakling and tease him, along with Mrs. Kim who would reprimand him for doing such a dangerous stunt. “I can’t go down,” Kyuhyun said firmly._

_“…,” the smaller boy frowned, suddenly looking queasy. “Mm…I don’t feel well Kyu…”_

_He thought it was just a plot to get him down so he ignored it. This lasted only a second because suddenly Ryeowook was falling over, landing with a loud thud on his side. Kyuhyun jumped down, eyes wide and shocked. He shook Ryeowook’s shoulder, willing him to get up. “Hey Wookie, stop playing around,” Kyuhyun called, worry forcing tears to his eyes, “what happened? This isn’t funny, Wookie…”_

_Suddenly Ryeowook was holding his small chest, gasping unevenly and whimpering. Kyuhyun started crying, pulling Ryeowook up and hugging him desperately. Mrs. Kim appeared before the situation could worsen. She took Ryeowook in her arms, feeding him two small white pills. The gasping boy swallowed hard, clutching onto the caring woman’s shirt._

_Kyuhyun tugged on Mrs. Kim’s skirt, tears rolling down his small face. “What’s wrong with Wookie…?” he hiccupped, wiping at the salty liquid and snot._

_“He has a weak heart,” Mrs. Kim explained softly while trying to soothe the writhing Ryeowook, “So when he stresses his body or doesn’t eat enough, he gets really sick.”_

_“How come no one told me?” Kyuhyun whined._

_“Well…,” she never finished the thought though as the other kids came out to crowd around in an attempt to find out what was going on._

Kyuhyun opened the door to the infirmary, spotting the doctor immediately. “What happened?” he breathed, chest heaving slightly from the brisk pace at which he ventured there.

Dr. Choi picked up his notebook, reading over the report before saying, “Ryeowook just…collapsed. He had been outside without his jacket zipped up and before that he was attending the Dorm 3 party, most likely drinking. I didn’t take a blood test, but you can smell the alcohol.”

“That’s impossible…,” Kyuhyun muttered, walking over to Ryeowook and gazing down at the sleeping boy. His heart jumped a bit at seeing how much weight the other had lost. The boy had always been thin…but he was too thin. What was happening?

“So…is there any particular reason you two aren’t roommates anymore?” the doctor inquired softly.

Kyuhyun brushed the back of his hand over Ryeowook’s cheek, his eyes lowered not unkindly over the boy. “…Seems sort of pointless since I came here tonight…”

“Pardon?”

“Where’s Lee Sungmin? That’s Ryeowook’s roommate right?” Kyuhyun looked away from the sleeping boy, slipping his hand down to rest over Ryeowook’s.

Dr. Choi shook his head slowly, confusion etching his features. “His roommate is a third year named YoungSaeng. He said he didn’t know bout but I figured you would’ve met him at some point.”

“No,” Kyuhyun murmured, “I’ll stay with him tonight. You can go home doctor.” The boy sat down in the chair beside Ryeowook’s bed, entwining their fingers gently. “I know how to take care of him. It’s alright.”

Dr. Choi put away the reports and a few other things before standing up and heading towards the door. “…Then I’ll go. If you need anything you know where it is. I’ll be down the hall in the Staff Dorm.”

There was no reply though, just a slight nodding of Kyuhyun’s head. His eyes were trained on Ryeowook, intently examining the boy. Dr. Choi studied them for less than a second, and then he was heading out, quietly closing the door to the Infirmary.

 


	6. KyuWook Special: First Kiss

Kyuhyun sat with Mrs. Kim in the hospital. Classes for the day had ended and there was only one place the boy wished to be. That’s why he caught the earliest public bus to the hospital and half ran into the waiting room. He knew things couldn’t have changed much but he was anxious to know about his friend – no, more than that, his…brother.

“Kyuhyun…,” Mrs. Kim began, angling her body so she could easily look at the middle school student. She was tapping the sides of her plastic coffee cup, a familiar nervous habit of hers.

He raised an eyebrow in response, head having lifted up from the mathematics textbook in his lap. It appeared he had quite a number of problems to do but the piece of paper was mostly empty except for a few meaningless markings in the margins.

The older woman spoke softly, “I know this is wrong to say and I’ll understand if you as well as Ryeowook never speak to me again…but it’s necessary.”

“What?” Kyuhyun prompted harshly, all his nerves and emotions on edge.

“…I’m leaving the home…to live my life.”

“…”

Mrs. Kim gazed at Kyuhyun, waiting for him to speak but when he refused to, she sighed and started to explain, “I’ve dedicated so many years to this home already. I…I’m tired and feel suffocated. There’s just no need for me anymore—”

“—You told us to look at you as a mother. If you’re our mother why are you leaving us behind to some new person?” Kyuhyun interrupted, slamming his math book shut and shoving it into his bag. “Why bother sitting here waiting for someone you don’t even care about?”

“Wait Kyu—!” she started standing up but Kyuhyun was already pushing past her, messenger bag roughly banging against his fast moving legs.

A nurse’s eyes widened at the fury in Kyuhyun’s tired, sleepless eyes and her mouth opened to ask what was wrong. The young boy glared at her, saying, “Don’t let that woman into Kim Ryeowook’s room anymore. She no longer acts as our guardian.”

“O-Okay,” the nurse stammered, watching Kyuhyun pass by. Her eyes trailed to the approaching Mrs. Kim and quickly stopped the red-faced, panicking woman with the words, “Only family and caretakers are allowed to see patients.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t hear – nor did he care to hear – the rest of the conversation. The hallway was long and white and filled with the smell of sterilized equipment. All the doors to hospital rooms were closed some displaying name tags whilst others did not. He knew Ryeowook’s room number by heart, having burned the number into his mind the first day. It had been almost three since then.

The door appeared to Kyuhyun’s left and he gently pushed on the handle, opening the barrier and passing over the threshold. It wasn’t a private room but a curtain effectively separated Ryeowook from his roommate. The young boy was sitting up in bed, absently fiddling with the wires connected to his body. His normally bright eyes were dull and exhausted seeming to despair at the situation he was in.

Kyuhyun closed the door quietly and silently approached Ryeowook. “Wookie…how are you feeling?” he murmured, setting his stuff down by the visitor’s chair.

Light flashed in the depths of Ryeowook’s eyes, slowly fading to a warm glow. “Kyuhyunnie,” he greeted, smiling and reaching out for the standing boy’s hand, “I’m happy that you come see me everyday…”

“How could I not?” Kyuhyun scoffed, entwining their fingers and kneeling down beside the low resting bed. He gave the bruised hand a squeeze, eyes lowered over the slender, talented fingers. “When you get better and we go home, play a song for me. I’ll sing for you too.”

Ryeowook nodded happily, clasping their laced fingers with his free hand. “I love your voice, Kyu…if you’re singing I’ll always play for you.”

“Good,” he answered, absently brushing his lips over the small hands covering his own.

“Where’s Mrs. Kim?” Ryeowook inquired, eyes scanning the room, “Did she not come with you today?”

The boy didn’t even flinch at the mention of their ‘mother’. Instead he caught Ryeowook’s gaze, holding the other there. “…Do you want me to sing for you now?” Kyuhyun offered, smirking up at his friend, “I think you’ll like it.”

“Oh, sure!” Ryeowook answered, letting the absence of their caretaker slip from mind.

_“When eyes turn away,_

_Look at me,_

_When the world shuns us,_

_Look to our place,_

_When you feel all alone,_

_Look at me again,_

_And know I’m all you need…”_

He hummed soothingly here, eyes falling to a half-lidded state. Ryeowook was enraptured, unable to focus on anything but the deep, rich voice enveloping him. Perhaps for someone else the affect wouldn’t have been so great, however, Ryeowook knew it was for him, _them._

It felt connected to the childish poem Kyuhyun had written when they were younger and just maybe, it was.

_“Shadows creep on us,_

_Tragedy strikes us,_

_Pity drowns us…_

_But then look at me,_

_When eyes turn away,_

_Look at me,_

_When the world shuns us,_

_Look to our place,_

_When you feel all alone,_

_Look at me again,_

_And know I’m all you need…”_

Kyuhyun’s eyes raised up to Ryeowook, lips parted. His fingers danced around the slender neck, pulling Ryeowook closer to him. They were brushing foreheads as Kyuhyun’s tempting voice deeply wrapped around the smaller one.

_“Quietly, I’ll take your hand…”_

His fingers tightened around Ryeowook’s…

_Gently, I’ll lull you to dreams,_

His lips curved into a breathtaking smile, eyes twinkling tenderly…

_Softly, I’ll kiss your lips…”_

His mouth found Ryeowook’s for a moment as the world around them continued turning. It was not a moment for the masses. It was a moment for them alone so the world could fuck off and keep on going about their business.

Why did Kyuhyun kiss his ‘brother’ that day? He didn’t know. It felt right. It felt like the only thing to do. But…people didn’t think of their ‘brothers’ in that way…so why did Kyuhyun have the urge to kiss Ryeowook? Why did he pull back to see the slender boy’s reaction before going back in for a deeper, sweeter, richer kiss – their first kiss.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Kyuhyun gazed at the sleeping boy’s face, the sun rising outside. Faint light began spilling through the window, bouncing off of Ryeowook’s gaunt features. For a while, Kyuhyun had slept but that had lasted only a few hours. The rest of the time had been spent quite literally, watching over the sickly boy.

The longer he studied Ryeowook, absorbed the severity of his condition, the more Kyuhyun felt like he was somehow at fault. Was it really because of him that Ryeowook had been driven to that point? The boy had always been useless but was he really _that_ useless? Kyuhyun leaving…did that trigger all of these crazy antics?

Was that the reason Ryeowook had been drinking? No. He hadn’t been drinking. It was impossible. The boy wasn’t trying to kill himself right? That was way too crazy, even for Ryeowook.

But…the stench, the black bruises around his eyes, the dehydrated features…they were all an obvious indication right?

Ryeowook’s eyes twitched, lips parting slightly. His brows drew together as he rolled to the side, emitting a choked groan. Kyuhyun instinctively tightened his hold on the boy’s hand. He watched the stirring boy expectantly, heart beating for whatever reason – maybe it was anticipation? Maybe Kyuhyun wanted to see Ryeowook’s eyes seeking him out. Maybe he wanted to know the other boy was still looking for him, wishing for him. Maybe he wanted to know there was someone more pathetic than himself – someone who was more pitiful than Kyuhyun, a person that cast someone off only to come running to that someone’s aid months later.

Unfamiliar black eyes locked on Kyuhyun warily. It shocked the dark haired boy…seeing the weakness in those bright eyes. There was something terrifying…horrific really, about the absent way Ryeowook gazed at the world. But then recognition flickered across his features and suddenly those black pupils were widening in horror.

 _Horror…_ Kyuhyun let go of Ryeowook’s hand, quickly stuffing fists into pockets.

“K-Kyuhyun…?” he croaked, flushing and clearing his throat, repeating, “Kyuhyun?”

“Ah,” the dark haired one grunted.

“Why…Why are you?” Ryeowook asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes cast away.

“…Were you worried…?”

Kyuhyun frowned at this, annoyance bubbling up in his chest. Why did the kid have to jump to conclusions? He wasn’t worried…mostly. Well how the hell could he be totally heartless after getting a phone call like that from the doctor? What the fuck would Kyuhyun have done if the condition worsened and Ryeowook died? What if he had ignored the distress call and regretted for the rest of his life – for not being there when his first friend’s heart stopped beating forever. Whether or not they were still communicating those days didn’t matter. A bond like theirs never truly ended – Kyuhyun had learned that.

But, for the time being, he would lie to himself and say it was possible to throw away their relationship. He could force himself to believe Ryeowook was in the past and the future lay ahead with a sweet boy named Zhoumi.

“I don’t want to get any more calls about you collapsing,” Kyuhyun stated quietly, hushed voice resonating around the room. He ignored the look of hurt in Ryeowook’s eyes – a look he had barely caught from the corner of his eye. “We’re not even friends anymore. I don’t need this shit. Just…I don’t even know what you’re trying to do.”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” Ryeowook argued weakly. Even he felt those words weren’t true. Yes, a part of him hoped Kyuhyun would take notice and show him some sort of care. But…a bigger part of him just wanted to feel pain. Ryeowook wanted to know how far he could go before everything snapped and he was sent ricocheting back to the beginning. All of it was to forget about everything for a while and then, when everything came flooding back with a sober mind, he could go spiraling into pain. He needed it, in a sense.

The physical pain, the danger…they were necessary for Ryeowook to see the world, to feel the freedom of choice. The worse his choices, the more reality seemed to burden him. For so long he had lived in a safe place with Kyuhyun protecting him but during those present days, he was alone to fend for himself. There was no one else and Ryeowook wanted to test the boundaries. He would continue doing so until there was nothing left to test. He would continue until the boundaries finally resisted.

Kyuhyun sighed, “Fine, whatever. I don’t need this. Take your medicine and stop doing stupid stuff.” He stood up, walking towards the door. “You’re just a burden to me.”

The door opened and closed with Ryeowook staring blankly after the departed boy. He slowly nodded, not bothering to even glance at his medicine. “I know I am…”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Sungmin sat in the Tech Shop with the freshmen, sighing under his breath. Why weren’t any of his friends around? Of course the freshmen were nice and all of that…but he missed the people from last year. He missed seeing all of those familiar, competent club members excitedly talking about set building and the seasonal play.

Looking around now though, he couldn’t see anything familiar, even Yesung-hyung was gone. There was no one left from last year except for himself, Mir and Ryeowook – but those two jerks weren’t at the meeting. In fact, neither had shown up for a meeting so far that Spring! What the hell were they so busy with?

Better yet, what was Mir doing? He didn’t have any other friends right? And it wasn’t like he and Taemin could be having sex at all hours of the day – so what was his problem? Why wasn’t he going to club like a good little, anti-social awkward boy they all knew and loved?

“Sungmin-hyung, is something wrong?” one of the freshmen prompted, eyeing their senior with curiosity.

The elder just shook his head, offering a forced smile, “Nothing. I’m just sad that your other hyungs haven’t been around to introduce themselves to you all.”

“That’s okay. We’re happy with just you, Sungmin-hyung,” the boy assured with a naïve smile, “And Dongwoon-hyung is really great too!”

Sungmin nodded, ruffling the boy’s hair, “I just wish you all had known Yesung-hyung. He used to be the Tech President before Dongwoon.”

“Did you know both of them?” the freshman asked eyes wide with wonder.

He shook his head, chuckling, “No. Actually I didn’t know Dongwoon until this year. He’s part of StudGov so I guess that’s why he became the new president.”

“Oh…,” the younger one stretched the vowel out, nodding in understanding. He looked around the dimly lit Tech Shop, brow suddenly furrowing, “Where _is_ Dongwoon-hyung anyway?”

Sungmin whirled around, searching for the second year. “…Why doesn’t anyone come to club?” he sighed, flopping back on the couch and closing his eyes.

 

Ryeowook opened the Internet, signing into his email account. It had been so long since he really checked…anything, including that day’s date. Was it really March 19th already? Where had all the time gone? And why did it have to be so cold on campus? Winter just didn’t want to leave apparently.

So, now you ask, what had prompted Ryeowook to finally join society again – even on this small scale? Dr. Choi had clearly told him “If you come in drunk and passed out again, I’m letting you die” with a rather scary smile. And so here he was, being sober and tired.

There were a number of emails from different clubs promoting, dorm announcements from the RA, administrative announcements, and the weekly student newsletter.

He deleted the majority of messages but paused when he got to an email from _Tech Crew 2012_. It wasn’t like he hated the club. In all honesty, Ryeowook missed meetings and staying late and being with Mir and Sungmin. Just…he didn’t miss it _enough._

Nevertheless, he opened the message.

 

**From: Tech Crew**

**To: Kim Ryeowook**

**(March 13, 2011)**

**Kim Ryeowook-sshi,**

**Hello, I am Son Dongwoon, the 2012 Tech Crew President. I noticed that you were quite active in club last year and now I’m wondering what has happened?**

**Although we have many dedicated first years who joined, we are lacking “seniors” who know their way around the stage, sound room, and house.**

**I would greatly appreciate it if you would return this year and help us with everything. We really need experienced people to be teaching, correcting and overall guiding our young impressionable first years.**

**Feel free to reach me by this email, in the Honors Dorm Room 4, the StudGov Treasurer mailbox, or in the Tech Shop on Thursdays!**

**Dongwoon**

“Everything changed,” Ryeowook murmured, closing the email and scrolling down. He wouldn’t be contacting the new president any time soon.

Near the bottom of the unread messages was one in particular that made the boy’s eyes widen and his heart race. Scrambling with nervous fingers, Ryeowook double-clicked on the message, lips parted in honest to goodness relief. He wasn’t sure why seeing the contact made him happy but it did.

 

**From: Henry Lau**

**To: Kim Ryeowook**

**(February 25, 2011)**

**Wookie-hyung~!**

**How are you doing? : ) Do you miss me? I miss talking to you a lot…it’s really fun where I am but there’s no one like you. Everyone is really foreign too D: I speak English and all but these people are Italian. They speak really fast too! I’m catching on though so don’t worry about me! ^^**

**Oh, watch my performance too when you have time : D I attached the video file!**

**I’ll be back at the academy once my mini-tour ends in mid-July so let’s do something when that time comes okay?**

**Henry**

Ryeowook smiled at the email, scrolling to the bottom of the message to open the video. A window popped up, displaying a freeze frame of a dimly lit stage. He clicked on the _Play_ button, waiting excitedly for the video the start.

After a few long seconds, the frame animated. Henry was dressed in a clean black suit, tail coat curling around his legs gently. The younger boy’s eyes were lowered over the glossy violin propped against his jaw. A secretive smile touched his lips before the bow slowly started creating friction against the strings.

No one in the audience made a sound, all of them captivated by this child prodigy. Their faces were caught by the professional camera man, showing nearly the entire venue filled with awed people. Ryeowook was one of them – or would have been if he had been there.

The way Henry played that night was undeniably beautiful. Every crisp note reverberated in your brain, taking hold of your deepest wishes and lulling them to a more precious place. It was difficult to describe the precise feeling but truly, it was as if the best part of you and your soul had been taken for a ride through the heavens – to places and heights unreachable from any other point in time and status.

Then again, Henry just had that affect on people, huh?

“Who’s the baby?” YoungSaeng remarked, his sudden presence forcing Ryeowook to jump up from surprise.

Ryeowook paused Henry’s performance to turn around to face YoungSaeng. “Why did you have to sneak up on me like that?” he questioned, sighing in irritation. “And this is Henry Lau. He’s not a baby. He’s only one year younger than me.”

“A freshman?” YoungSaeng guffawed, “That’s so _young._ What a little kid. Why are you watching him anyway?” The third year lied down beside Ryeowook, clicking the play button for the video.

The video started up again and this time Ryeowook focused on his real life surroundings, making sure he wouldn’t be surprised again.

That was why he didn’t notice the strange light in YoungSaeng’s eyes.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Zhoumi hated KUG.

He used to enjoy it but now it was…horrible. Had Kangin been so stressed as well? It never seemed like it. Then again, maybe things weren’t so hectic way back when. But ever since that damned _Key_ took over, Zhoumi was suffering like he had never suffered before.

The new owner’s attitude didn’t affect the atmosphere of KUG but it sure affected the way Zhoumi was feeling. No matter what he did, Key found a way to insult it – whether the task was to count cups or just deliver a drink.

For instance, just the other night, the third year had simply handed a waiting student a drink and then Key was pulling him aside complaining, “You didn’t smile sincerely enough.”

Or, in more ludicrous times, Zhoumi had just finished taking inventory and filled out that week’s reports. Key – with all his stupid butting in – said, “Your hand writing sucks. Redo all the reports because I’m pretty sure they’re all as sloppy as this.”

It was just… _ridiculous!_

So that night, Zhoumi just stayed locked up in his shabby back room, fuming. He wasn’t confrontational. That was the problem. Even though there were so many things he wanted to voice the third year knew that the moment he began venting, it would be a jumble of words and yelps. He just didn’t have it in him to be harsh; mainly out of fear of being verbally attacked. If there was a way to fight where you didn’t have to hear the other side out, Zhoumi would surely confront people more often, however that wasn’t how things worked.

The door to his backroom opened without warning and Zhoumi stifled a groan. He really hoped that it wasn’t Key.

Fortunately, it wasn’t.

“Mi, why are you slumped over?” Kyuhyun chuckled, striding towards his boyfriend.

Zhoumi shot up, eyes welling with tears. The other boy’s eyes grew in alarm and he rounded the small desk, pulling Zhoumi into his arms. “I hate it here…,” the third year mumbled, sobbing and wetting Kyuhyun’s shirt, “I don’t like working with these people…I don’t like staying in this tiny room…”

“It’s alright,” Kyuhyun said softly, hugging his lover tighter, “If you don’t like it here, why don’t you just leave?”

At that, Zhoumi wanted to yell that Kyuhyun didn’t understand; that he just didn’t get how much he owed to the former KUG owners. It was more than just a favor. He cared about Eunhyuk and Kangin more than most _would_ care for the underground club founders. But…for some reason…he couldn’t tell Kyuhyun any of that.

What if Kyuhyun hated him? What if Kyuhyun didn’t sympathize with him? After all, how many people would actually agree with Zhoumi when it came to the kindness of Eunhyuk and Kangin? They weren’t exactly Teukie-hyung or Yunho-hyung.

Most people truly feared the KUG duo – tried to avoid them in normal day-to-day activities. And Zhoumi had a slight hunch that Kyuhyun wasn’t very fond of them either. If he knew the prior felt a bond with them, wouldn’t that put Zhoumi in a bad light? It would make him look like a freak.

Key…well, Key was already like a second Kangin. He knew how to handle himself and he ignored any looks of contempt thrown his way. Zhoumi wasn’t sure why the other boy decided to run KUG nor did he care much at all.

“Mm, I know…,” Zhoumi mumbled, hoping that Kyuhyun wouldn’t press him on the matter.

Kyuhyun kissed the older boy’s head, smiling into the soft dark hair. “I’m here for you,” he assured, slowly lifting Zhoumi’s face and kissing his lips, “Don’t worry too much okay Mi?”

The third year crumpled under the tenderness of those words and the soft way those lips touched his. How in all that is holy did Zhoumi get such a perfect person? Who was smiling so kindly down upon him? Who let someone like Kyuhyun love him?

Zhoumi pressed desperately back on the warm, affectionate mouth, arms winding around Kyuhyun’s neck. He felt the younger one push his shirt up, familiar fingers roaming along his slim backside. A soft moan escaped Zhoumi’s lips as he leaned into the touch.

“We can’t do anything,” Kyuhyun chuckled, “right?”

“Why not?” Zhoumi replied lowly, “it’s not like anyone comes around here.” He ground his hips into the second year, watching Kyuhyun’s eyes flash lustfully. “We can…”

Suddenly Zhoumi felt himself up against the wall and a pair of hungry lips devouring his. A hot tongue found the third year’s, tasting and exploring. He giggled into Kyuhyun’s open mouth, quickly tugging at the latter’s short sleeve shirt.

Kyuhyun rolled his shoulders, allowing the thin material to hitch up. He lowered, nibbling at his lover’s neck, paying mind to the places he knew made Zhoumi moan. As expected, the older boy did and damn… Kyuhyun’s hands followed the curve of the slim boy’s butt, smiling against the red mark he had created on that pale neck. “You sure no one will come?” he mumbled, licking at the territorial bruise.

“Yeah—”

“—this isn’t a fucking whore house, Zhoumi.”

The lovers broke apart, Kyuhyun, jerking his shirt down. Zhoumi swallowed a growl of anger and turned to glare at Key. “What do you want?” he snapped.

Key held up a thick folder stuffed with papers. “It’s your job to take care of this stuff. What are you doing fooling around? I know it’s a teen club but if the people running it aren’t professional everything is going to hell.” His eyes scanned Kyuhyun’s body and face before snorting and turning away. “Isn’t Eunhyuk-hyung hotter?”

Zhoumi’s blood ran cold. “W-What are you talking about?” he stammered, terrified.

The KUG owner shrugged, dropping the heavy folder onto Zhoumi’s desk. “Nothing, just saying Eunhyuk-hyung is hotter…,” he smirked, eyes mocking, “Why are you so nervous, Zhoumi? Something scared you just now…maybe?”

Kyuhyun watched in confusion, not daring to utter a word. For one, it seemed like a pretty personal matter. Two, he really didn’t feel curious about their conversation. So what if Key thought Eunhyuk was more attractive? It didn’t exactly affect Kyuhyun, right?

“Sorry Kyu, I have to work,” Zhoumi said quickly, pushing Kyuhyun towards the exit, “I’ll be home later tonight so you can go to sleep before me.”

“Ah, sure,” he replied, exiting the room in a bit of a daze.

Zhoumi whipped around to glare at Key. “Why would you say that?” he cried.

“Say what?” the other prompted innocently. His mouth curved into a harsh grin. “I told the truth. That’s more than you can say. Doing shit with someone else and then wanting to have a perfect little romance? You’re living in a fairytale.”

“I didn’t do anything with Eunhyuk…,” Zhoumi whispered.

Key barked out a laugh, arms crossing over chest. “You’re such a fucking liar! How can you even live with yourself? I _saw_ you with Eunhyuk twice.”

“What?” His eyes were large and helpless.

The other boy rolled his eyes, holding up two fingers. “First time was the night you told him to, and I quote ‘Fuck me’. I was there. I heard it.” He shook his head, “I didn’t think it was a big deal but then I saw you getting all friendly with that guy – your boyfriend, a few days later or something. So I was like, ‘Whatever, probably a one night stand’ but _then_ I was at the Thanksgiving dinner and happened to see you run into a teeny-tiny closet with good old Eunhyuk.”

Zhoumi’s heart dropped into his stomach, jaw slack. Key just laughed at the expression – a bitter, taunting laugh. “And you know what? I would’ve just blown it off or whatever had I not seen you acting like a perfect little angel around your boyfriend. That’s when I realized…Holy. Fucking. Shit. You’re just a little slutty liar. You don’t even have the decency to tell your lover that you cheated on him,” Key spun sharply on his heel, heading for the door, “and I bet it wasn’t just once, huh?”

The door shut and Zhoumi collapsed, tears falling from his eyes. It wasn’t fair. For all the faults Key had, at least he was honest. That was the one thing – truthfully the most important thing – that made him far better than Zhoumi.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Minho tapped his pencil against the desk. The room was rather warm that day with the sun already falling behind dark trees. He listened to the soft rustling of blooming leaves and the quiet friction of wind against sheets. It was nice that he could keep the window open again. The cold season felt like it had dragged on forever – but maybe that had to do with certain events, or rather, an endless stream of events.

Looking back, how the _hell_ could so much happen during those few months? He never thought KUG would be eliminated from his normal routine. He never thought he would want more than just a fuck buddy – even now he wondered if that was true. Better yet, he had never pondered the possibility of being with someone emotionally. The mere thought of relationships made his stomach turn before…but somehow, he had begun…thinking.

His mind was wondering more often than not to little fantasies, daydreams. Minho would be reading the words of a novel and suddenly the movie in his mind would morph – change into a scene depicting himself and Sungmin.

They were walking around the main square of the campus hand in hand. All around no one paid them any mind because they knew happiness was in the air. To the left you could see Mir and Taemin chatting with smiles on their faces – having been a couple for many months already. Minho could see the light playing in his friend’s eyes and the way the honey blonde giggled at whatever Mir was saying. Probably something cute and awkward. To the right, there were people promoting themselves for the next election. None of them were as influential as Teukie-hyung but at least they were trying. Minho smiled at them, feeling odd warmth at the boring occurrences all around him.

That was the beauty of the academy. All of them had felt too much pain, heartbreak, fear…the academy was an illusion. It helped lost kids experience the life of an average student. The school wasn’t created to accommodate excitement; it was created to expel those sorts of heart racing things. So for many of them – eating with friends every day, showering in the same place every night, having a warm bed waiting for you, falling in love, studying and cramming for exams – all of it…all of it was just perfect.

Minho felt his lips spread into a smile as he stopped his incessant pen tapping. At least, that was what Teukie-hyung always preached. Those were the words that made Minho agree to stay at the academy. Those were the words that truly triggered all of the events up until then. If it weren’t for those thoughts, Minho was rather positive he would’ve never felt the beating of an emotionally charged heart.

And for most part, all of it was good. You know, aside from the friends lying to him thing and the shitty-ass February he had thing, and all of the stupid secrets thing. Yeah, aside from all of that Minho was pretty happy.

The door clicked open and Taemin strode in, his long hair tied back. Minho glanced at the boy, noting the bored expression on his face. “What’s up with you?” he prompted, setting the pen down and shifting in his seat. He hadn’t realized how stiff his body got from staying unmoved.

Taemin looked over at his roommate after setting the phone in hand on a table. “Mir is busy so we can’t hang out,” he pouted, walking over to Minho.

“What’s he up to?” Minho chuckled, wondering if he should call Sungmin.

“I think he said something about club and how he hasn’t been going lately,” Taemin rolled his eyes, settling down on his friend’s lap, “It’s such a stupid reason to leave me.”

“You like him that much?” the older boy inquired, paying little mind to the body straddling his thighs. It wasn’t unusual or anything.

Taemin shrugged a bit, arms encircling Minho’s neck. “As a person he’s okay I guess. But he’s really good in bed,” a smirk cut the pretty boy’s face, “I finally got him to fuck me but it sort of sucks that he’s too shy to be dominant.”

“Oh…?” Minho stifled a laugh, raising his eyebrows.

“Well I mean he just never takes initiative. I like riding and all but it gets boring in that position y’know?” Taemin sighed, sounding as if it were a huge problem. “He’s too…submissive. But since I don’t like topping it’s really weird.”

Minho only then noted the decreasing space between them. He thought about moving away and in fact he did – but then Taemin was scooting forward so their chests were touching and their lips were crashing together.

A muffled complaint vibrated into Taemin’s mouth and the latter simply giggled, further sliding his tongue in the seated boy’s mouth. Minho pushed his friend away, inhaling sharply and eyeing the slender boy incredulously. “What the fuck? Why are you doing this?” he grunted, keeping his lips as far out of Taemin’s reach as possible.

“Weren’t you listening to my story?” Taemin snapped, glaring and kissing the taller boy’s jaw. “I wanna be fu~cked! And you’re here…it’s not like we haven’t done it before. Let’s do it Minho~”

The latter’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? You’re going out with Mir! Don’t do this stuff,” he muttered, trying to push the other guy away.

Taemin held on tightly, sucking at a sensitive spot on the other one’s neck. An uncontrolled moan escaped Minho’s mouth. Smirking, the honey blond licked his lips and moved back to press gossamer kissed all along his friend’s throat and face. “We’re not going out. From the start I just wanted to get in his pants and I have. I told him before I just want sex. Love is for stupid people.”

“Taemin…,” Minho murmured a bit morosely, “you like Mir don’t you?”

Again, the pretty boy shrugged indifferently, “I like him enough. I like you too. So let’s fuck.” He reached down, moving his hand against the other one’s crotch. “He already knows. It’s not like I’m hurting him.”

Minho shook his head. “But—”

“—since when did you become such a goodie-goodie?” Taemin snapped, snatching the taller boy’s jaw and squeezing. “Are you just trying to prove yourself to Sungmin? It’s not like he even likes you. You _know_ Minho…You _know_ that he’s head-over-heels for that Ryeowook kid. It’s so fucking obvious so why are you lying to yourself?” he cried, practically thrusting Minho’s head to the side as he released the boy’s clenched jaw.

It was like having cold water dumped over his head. Taemin was right. All of the things that had happened thus far were just…that. He wasn’t thinking clearly. How could he actually be dreaming of _love_ …especially with someone like Sungmin? Minho kept telling himself that maybe…just maybe Sungmin was starting to feel something for him; after all they were together more often than he was with Ryeowook. Plus, Sungmin wasn’t fighting his kisses anymore. All of it was just a mess though.

He knew that.

So why did he keep pretending?

Yeah, it had to be because of the warm breeze and the boredom. Sungmin was just another distraction, a fucking wonderful distraction, but nonetheless, a distraction. Although Minho had nothing else to look forward to, looking forward to being with someone like Sungmin was just ridiculous.

Minho looked up at Taemin, grinning and biting teasingly on the blonde’s lower lip as he gained entrance into that mouth. Someone like Taemin was better. Someone who he didn’t need to get close to was always better. That way, he wouldn’t daydream about stupid, unreachable things anymore. That way, Sungmin would stay as a replaceable distraction.


	11. Chapter 11

Ryeowook pressed down on the piano keys softly, listening to the final notes fade away. The melody was a painful one but he would be lying if he said it didn’t calm his nerves. He hadn’t touched any alcohol for almost a week and already his heart was feeling better…but the problem was everything else was getting worse.

He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t concentrate. Everything was far too loud and bright. There were so many voices floating around and so much obnoxious laughter. It really wasn’t fun being sober. Ryeowook closed the piano sullenly, sighing. At least YoungSaeng was kind enough to stop drinking when Ryeowook came back for the night.

The older boy never said a word about it but every single time, without fail, he would put away the beer or vodka or whatever and simply get ready for bed. Ryeowook had to admit he liked the unspoken relationship. It made communicating easier, if that made sense.

“It’s getting late…,” Ryeowook mumbled to space, collecting his things and walking towards the door. He opened it, pushing out and trudging down the near silent hallway. Although the boy spent so much time in the Music Hall, he would never get over how _eerie_ it could be, especially during the twilight hours. That was the worst for some reason. Ryeowook had a hunch it was due to the way the sun fell over the trees and created those black shadows everywhere. Then again, maybe he was exaggerating from the lack of buzz.

Soft noises abruptly cut into the pianist’s thoughts and he froze, looking around. No one else was in the building right? Ryeowook carefully craned his neck, trying to see further down the abandoned corridor. As far as he could there was no— There it was again! He swallowed, cautiously proceeding.

The sounds seemed to grow louder and then relief was washing over him – only a bit though. Someone was in the building with him – a shock in itself. He had no idea anyone spent that much time on their music aside from Henry and well, Ryeowook.

But there was something odd about the style. It wasn’t classical…or even acoustic. That was certainly a voice but… Ryeowook leaned towards the door separating him from the unknown musician. It sounded like rapping. The boy furrowed his brow, pressing slightly on the door only to realize it wasn’t locked – or even closed.

He staggered forward, squeaking and crashing to the ground in a messy heap. A groan bubbled from his lips, a throbbing in his shoulder. Ryeowook opened one eye, picking himself up and rubbing his sore side. Why wasn’t the door shut properly? He looked around, seeing a lone figure standing further into the room. Unintentionally, Ryeowook lifted his eyes up to the figure and he swore everything stopped for a moment.

Mir stared wide eyed at the other boy. His mouth was dangling open, a prop microphone in his hand. A tilted, stylish cap pressed his unruly dark hair down in a fashion that was far too cool for his awkward-boy image. “R-Ryeowook?” he stammered, lowering the amplifier and hurrying over to help the fallen boy up. “What are you doing here?”

“Was that you Mir?” Ryeowook asked, ignoring the question and climbing to his feet unsteadily.

The taller boy flushed, looking away. “Y-Yeah…”

“It was really cool!” Ryeowook praised, smiling a tad warily. It wasn’t because Mir annoyed him or because his words were a lie. In general, he found it difficult to smile whole heartedly – it often came out tired rather than sincere, no matter how sincere he tried to be.

Mir didn’t seem to notice though, his dark eyes cast southward. “Thanks…but, could you not tell anyone…about this I mean?” he stuttered, face reddening even more. His fingers twiddled nervously with the microphone, seeming to have trouble holding it up.

“Oh, sure,” the other boy replied, confused. “But Mir, why don’t you want to share this with anyone? That was so awesome! I bet a lot of people would want to…oh yeah, I forgot,” Ryeowook chuckled uncomfortably.

“Mmhmm,” Mir mumbled, “I don’t want anyone coming to talk to me.” He shifted on his feet, eyes slowly rising to look at Ryeowook. “I heard you practicing earlier…It sounded good…”

Now it was the red head’s turn to color. His lips curved up in a small smile. “You heard it?” At Mir’s confirming nod, Ryeowook went on, “I’m glad you liked it. That song helps calm me when I’m nervous. …Is that what rapping is like for you?”

“Yeah,” he affirmed, a speck of eagerness flashing in his eyes, “It helps me relieve myself of stress. Sometimes my roommate Thunder will join me too.”

Slowly, yet surely, the awkwardness in the air was fading. Ryeowook sighed with relief at the lessening pressure. It was suffocating as they tried to start up a conversation and maintain one. But…somehow it was working. Maybe that’s what real friendship was? Neither of them was sure though – neither of them had ever really had friends.

“How’ve you been?” Ryeowook prompted softly.

Mir shrugged a bit. “Everything isn’t bad. I have to go talk to Tech Crew…I’ve missed a lot of stuff because I was with Taemin,” he blushed then, looking about ready to faint from the mere memory of…well, whatever it was – probably something perverted.

“Oh! Did you get contacted by the new president too? I think his name is Dongwoon?” Ryeowook asked, eyes widening slightly.

“An email,” Mir clarified, walking over to a stand and setting the microphone down. “I’m heading over to the Tech Shop after dinner.”

“Ah, that’s cool,” Ryeowook grinned, “are you going to try and help with the Spring Musical?”

“You should too,” he stated, eyeing the shorter boy with puzzlement, “Do you still go to club?”

The latter hesitated but when he saw that it was pointless to lie, a sigh slipped from his mouth. “No, I haven’t been. Actually…I haven’t been doing much of anything. So I guess we’re sort of in the same boat huh Mir?”

“Guess so,” the dark haired boy mumbled, stuffing the cap into his messenger bag and walking towards Ryeowook again. “I was going to meet Sungmin for dinner…do you want to come?” His jaw was clenching and unclenching anxiously whilst his eyes stayed impassive. It was one of Mir’s cute points. He always appeared at ease but in reality, he really thought about everyone’s feelings towards him. Every time he asked for something or offered something, the boy practically had a heart attack from nervousness.

Ryeowook nodded happily – happy for the distraction. Anything was better than thinking about going back to the dorm room, grabbing a beer and chugging until the clean gears of his mind rusted over.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Sungmin couldn’t believe what was before his eyes. There was no way. There was just _no way_. Seated across from him in the Dining Hall were Ryeowook and Mir. It had to be a dream though. The three of them hadn’t spent time together for _months._ But what sort of sick dream was he having if this wasn’t real?

“Minnie, is something wrong?” Ryeowook asked, brows knitting in worry. He sipped his juice as his free hand reached out, seeking Sungmin’s resting fingers.

The black haired boy blinked, shaking himself out of thoughts. “Everything’s fine, Wookie,” he smiled warmly, turning his hand over to hold Ryeowook’s outstretched one, “I’m just really happy that we’re all together.”

“Oh,” Ryeowook laughed quietly, “it _has_ been a long time since we were all together huh?”

“Two months,” Mir chimed in before taking a massive bite out of his dinner and chewing with quite a bit of effort. It appeared he didn’t want to answer any questions concerning his close watch of the time.

Sungmin didn’t care about that at the moment. He broke into a fresh smile, shaking Ryeowook’s hand excitedly. “There are so many things I want to talk to you about Wookie! I missed seeing you and talking to you. There’s no one but you and Mir that can keep me interested and now we’re all back together. Isn’t that great?”

“You make it sound like we were forcefully separated,” Ryeowook remarked, face tinged with color at Sungmin’s words.

The latter rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Ryeowook. “I know that isn’t the case but I…I’ve just been so lonely without you two. Club is especially boring without either of you. The freshmen are cute and everything, but none of them knows what it’s like to do a show yet. They don’t understand my jokes or anything else either.”

“Sorry Minnie,” he replied sullenly, guilt overcoming all of the horrible things Ryeowook had done thus far. “After Spring, I think I’ll return to club. But for the time being I have things I want to do. There’s a Summer Play though, right? That’s what the amphitheatre is for I think…”

Sungmin nodded reassuringly. “Yeah, we have a Summer Play! You should definitely do that one okay?” He turned a glower to Mir – the receiver gulping and backing up a bit at the intensity of the glare. “And _you_. What are you doing goofing around while all of us are at work? Shouldn’t you be upholding Joon-hyung’s name and the rest of your former Tech Crew brothers?”

Mir lowered his gaze, looking absolutely miserable. “I know…I’m talking to the new president after dinner. I’ll be working with the club again soon.”

“Good,” Sungmin stated.

Ryeowook simply enjoyed the company of his friends. The feeling was different with YoungSaeng – really different. Why had he backed away from this so much? Kyuhyun’s words thrust themselves into his thoughts, effectively answering his question. Right…being around people that made him feel warm…well, they were trying to fill the space Kyuhyun had always held – whether or not they realized it. It was better to not feel happiness than to feel happiness and recall all of the sweet things him and Kyuhyun had shared. Being cold and drunk was far better.

“Hey Wookie~, what are you thinking about?” Sungmin pouted, leaning towards the smaller boy, large eyes shining tenderly.

That’s why it wasn’t good to be around him. Ryeowook’s metaphorical heart clenched and he carefully backed away from Sungmin – just enough to breathe normally. Although Mir wasn’t much of a tear-jerker, Sungmin…every time Ryeowook looked into those round warm eyes he wanted to huddle close to the other boy. He wanted to cry until the tears were gone and his chest was light as air. He wanted to feel and hear Sungmin around him, just like when they kissed on the Catwalk.

Why couldn’t they go back?

“Nothing, just staring into space,” Ryeowook lied, smiling, “so what did you wanna talk about Minnie? Is it something interesting?”

Sungmin grinned, “It’s always interesting if I’m the one talking about it. Well, actually I wanted to talk about Spring Break.”

“H-Huh?” his eyes widened slightly at the statement. “What about it?”

“Well, the school is sponsoring a trip to the beach and I wanted to go with you and Mir,” he glanced at the dark brown haired boy, “You wanna go too, right?”

Mir shrugged, finishing his food and shifting in the seat. “I like the beach.”

“See?” Sungmin cried standing and hugging Ryeowook who awkwardly stood up. “We can play in the ocean together and take pictures and stay up late and nap under trees and eat yummy food and play games with the rest of our club friends.”

Ryeowook tried to swallow the solid lump in his throat. It all sounded too good, too painful. “U-Uh, I’ll try, okay Minnie?” he patted the taller boy on the back, leaning away so he could smile. “It would be a lot of fun…”

Sungmin nodded earnestly, leaning his forehead against Ryeowook’s playfully. “We’ll take a bunch of pictures so we never forget.”

“I have to go talk to the president now,” Mir mumbled, standing and excusing himself with a half smile and wave. He shuffled out of the room, disappearing around the corner.

“Hmm…it’s not as fun without Mir, huh?” the black haired one remarked, backing away from Ryeowook, only to take his hand and pull him towards the exit as well. “Let’s go for a walk. There’s still stuff I want to talk to you about.”

A very large part of Ryeowook wanted to say yes to the proposal but… He pulled his hand back, looking at Sungmin apologetically. “I’m sorry…I have a lot of homework tonight Minnie and I think I have to start on it. But we can hang out soon okay?”

Sungmin’s face fell. “…ah…alright…” He watched Ryeowook hurry out of the Dining Hall. Was he avoiding him? Why didn’t Ryeowook ever want to spend time with him anymore? _Did I do something…?_

 

Ryeowook burst into the dorm room without warning, tears drenching his face. Through the bleary wall of water he didn’t notice the way YoungSaeng scrambled to shield a magazine before standing and walking over to him.

“What the fuck happened to you?” the third year asked, eyebrows rose as he used his sleeve to wipe away the tears coating Ryeowook’s face.

The younger one shook his head. “Please help me…,” he whispered, lips trembling. “I…I feel warm…”

YoungSaeng quietly pulled Ryeowook into his arms, kicking the door shut. “You wanna feel cold?” he asked in a low voice, patting the shorter one’s hair.

Ryeowook simply nodded, gritting his teeth.

“We’ll see what we can do about that.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Mir having perfected the art of creeping opened the door to the Tech Shop silently. The lights were dim and gold, creating extra black shadows. No one was sitting around the lounging corner but from where Mir stood he could see an abandoned game of cards. A pile of messily stacked papers resided beside it, along with a few miscellaneous crafts from an art class.

A small smile touched the boy’s lips. He was happy to see that Tech Crew was doing well. The freshmen seemed really dedicated – at least they were showing up to club, that was more than Mir could say.

“Who are you?”

He whirled around, eyes wide at the voice. It had come out of nowhere. “M-Mir,” he managed, trying to focus in on the person who addressed him.

Standing some feet away from Mir was a tall, leanly muscled boy in a t-shirt and black jeans. His hair was long and chestnut colored – or something like that, it _was_ rather dark in the Tech Shop. Deep brown eyes gazed at Mir with a mixture of intrigue and hesitation. “Mir?” Suddenly, realization dawned on his features and the boy walked towards him. “ _Oh!_ You’re Mir! Yesung-hyung spoke about you, Ryeowook and Sungmin a lot. So are you here because you got my email?” He smiled, offering his hand, “Sorry, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Dongwoon, a second year like you.”

“Hey,” Mir muttered, taking the hand.

Dongwoon was looking at Mir oddly again, his large eyes twinkling in a strange sort of amusement. “You’re really cute…,” he remarked, chuckling, “sort of like a cuter version of Lee Joon-hyung.”

“Don’t compare us,” Mir answered quickly, eyes cast away, “Joon-hyung is special.”

“Yeah of course he is,” Dongwoon agreed easily, “but we’re not really talking about him I guess.” He took a step closer to Mir, still holding the shorter boy’s hand. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Mir’s head snapped up and jerked back when he saw how close Dongwoon had gotten. “U-Uhm, does it matter?” he stammered, wrenching out of the other one’s grip on his hand. “A-Anyway, I came here to say I can help with the Spring Musical if the club still needs it.”

The president of Tech Crew made an annoyed noise and leaned back on the heels of his feet. “Yes, we could use the help,” he stated with a slight smile, “so I hope you won’t say no when I tell you to go up to the Sound Booth and show the freshmen how to run the lights and music.” That was when Mir noted that the smile wasn’t so much a smile as a cringe-worthy, shiver-inducing, arrogant smirk.

“Got it,” Mir answered, hurrying towards the stage entrance. He just wanted to get away and stop the terrifying palpitations of his heart. It wasn’t from excitement or hope; it was from fear of…well, a number of things.

“Oh, wait a second!” Dongwoon called, stopping Mir in his tracks with just the tone of his voice. Mir tilted his head back slightly, eyes narrowed in ill-ease. “You never answered. Do you have a boyfriend?”

The boy’s eyes flickered uncertainly. “I…I don’t know.” He wanted to say that Taemin was his undoubted boyfriend…but that wasn’t true right? Or maybe it was? They had had sex several times – Mir blushed at the thought – but was it really a relationship? Taemin never said anything about dating Mir nor did he ever say anything about dating anyone else. So…what were they? At the very least, _one_ of them knew what he felt. Whenever Mir was around the honey blonde, he felt happy and willing to do anything whether that was making conversation or having sex – for the sake of Mir’s dignity, he preferred trying to have lengthy talks.

“You should find out,” Dongwoon prompted, smiling in that scarily friendly way, “so I know whether or not I can aim for you.”

“…”

The president blinked a few times before tilting his head curiously. “If you have something you want to say, say it.”

“Y-You…You don’t even know me,” Mir stuttered, utterly unnerved by the other one’s unshaken confidence.

“But I will,” Dongwoon replied casually, “and when that happens, trust me, I’ll be trying to win you over.” He winked, chuckling at the way Mir turned and raced out of the Tech Shop.

Mir got to the Sound Booth before he knew it, chest heaving from the run. His back pocket vibrated and with shaky fingers, the boy took it out, opening the text message icon.

**Taemin says: Hey babe~! Let’s get together tonight. When is your club stuff over?**

A blush crept onto Mir’s face and he looked away from the message for a moment, trying to collect himself before replying. It wasn’t because Taemin was calling him babe or using innuendos. The real reason was rather simple. He liked the boy…way too much for his own good.


	14. Chapter 14

“Hello everybody,” the President of Student Government greeted through the microphone, “It’s a pleasure to be speaking to all of you after such a long time.” He was a tall third year with black hair smoothly pushed away from his handsome face. The young man was smiling professionally, a pair of glasses partially obscuring his eyes. “We haven’t been able to meet in this sort of setting in quite some time so I would like to reintroduce myself. My name is Choi Siwon, your StudGov President for the remainder of the year.”

Ryeowook was glad the new president had introduced himself. They didn’t have many assemblies between inauguration and Spring Break so the ones who didn’t attend the ceremony had yet to meet the new StudGov board. But of course, what did it matter? No one could replace Teukie-hyung, especially some guy who seemed so stuck up he probably didn’t mean a single word he was saying.

Plenty of students adored him though. Choi Siwon was handsome – handsomer than most models even – but that didn’t mean he was a good person or president. There were many who sympathized with both sides however, no one could deny the legacy left by Teukie-hyung. No matter how great his successor was, there would always be complaints.

“…And so it is my pleasure to announce that this year, students who have signed up will be allowed to go on a Beach Trip off campus for an entire day and night,” Siwon stated, pausing as the students cheered. “Furthermore, all swim wear, overnight necessities and miscellaneous services will be provided for you and your friends at the inn.”

Ryeowook couldn’t stop the relieved smile that spread across his features. It was wonderful to hear that he wouldn’t have to worry about anything – literally. Next to him, YoungSaeng laid an arm across his shoulders, leaning down to whisper against his ear, “I got everyone to fill up the Friday time slot so we won’t have any unwanted guests.”

“Sounds good,” Ryeowook mumbled back, tilting his head slightly to return the humorous look YoungSaeng was giving him.

 

Kyuhyun could only stare. He hadn’t meant to look, hadn’t really known what he was looking at actually. There was something weirdly aggravating about the scene. His blood was boiling and his fingers were clenching of their own accord. Why did everyone always have to be all over _Ryeowook?_ What was so special about the useless boy? How come no one ever saw the beauty in Zhoumi?

It was always about Ryeowook. Everyone apparently paled in comparison to the boy.

Kyuhyun glared at the taller student hanging on Ryeowook’s shoulders. The boy seemed older than them and with a rather slack disposition. His eyes were lowered over Ryeowook, lips gently pressing against the smaller one’s ear.

“What the…,” Kyuhyun muttered, taking an involuntary step towards them.

A slender fingered hand stopped him and Kyuhyun whipped around, ready to snap at whoever was trying to stop him. Why would someone try to stop him from doing the right thing anyway? It wasn’t like Ryeowook knew how to get away from those sorts of forceful people. Like always, Kyuhyun would burden himself with helping the kid out, because that’s what he had done for years and years. Obviously he couldn’t sit back and watch what was happening. It didn’t matter that he wanted to get away…so long as Ryeowook was getting into trouble Kyuhyun _knew_ he was the only one that would help the poor kid.

After all, who else would stay and protect him?

“Kyu…?” Zhoumi said softly, eyeing his boyfriend worriedly.

Slowly, Kyuhyun killed the glare he was giving the older boy and shook his head tiredly. “Sorry Zhoumi,” he muttered, leaning back and glancing at Ryeowook.

The red head had shoved the older boy off, laughing and smiling. A look of mock-offence passed over the dark haired one’s face before he smirked and ruffled Ryeowook’s already messy locks.

Kyuhyun looked away from the scene, suddenly feeling as if the world was flipping over and over, yet he wasn’t strapped to anything to keep him level.

What had he been thinking before seeing that? Had he really planned on running over there and “rescuing” Ryeowook? Just…why was there still so much of a pull? Kyuhyun knew what he had done and said to the kid…so what was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he keep true to his words?

What was keeping him so tightly tied to Ryeowook…that a _mere_ touch from another person sent him raging?

Zhoumi watched his lover intently, seeing a dozen or more emotions flicker over those breathtaking features. And the saddest thing was, Zhoumi was almost positive it wasn’t _him_ that filled Kyuhyun’s mind. He wasn’t sure why he thought this…but damn it all if he was somehow wrong about the presumption.

***

Zhoumi shut the trapdoor, locking it. KUG wasn’t opening for a little while and he didn’t want any people coming by hoping for early admittance. The event for that night was particularly special considering it would be the first night of Spring Break. There were plenty of people who wanted to get in and some were just so crazy about freedom they tried to reserve a spot early.

KUG was brightly lit with fluorescent lights, looking nothing like a club at that hour of the door. Honestly, Zhoumi didn’t want to be at KUG, but there were things to do and Key was such a lazy ass that everything was up to Zhoumi to prepare.

He picked up the inventory chart on the bar counter, reading over the notes he had taken the previous night. Now all he had to do was file them away in Key’s office and then Zhoumi would be on his way to meet Eunhyuk.

There were so many things he wished to tell the older boy, mainly about his and Kyuhyun’s relationship. He just didn’t know what to do about it. Zhoumi had been agonizing over whether or not he should tell the second year what had happened between him and Eunhyuk. If he did, would that strengthen or destroy their bond?

“Hey Key,” Zhoumi called, opening the door to the office. He trailed off after seeing the other boy was slumped over the desk breathing evenly. Zhoumi sighed quietly, frowning and walking around to Key’s side of the table. “This is no place to be napping,” he thought silently, tip toeing around the slumbering boy. He needed to put away the inventory report.

Gingerly, Zhoumi pulled a metal drawer out, trying to slide the papers into the space soundlessly. Key shifted in his chair, causing Zhoumi to freeze in place. His eyes moved to Key, terrified and exhausted.

The third year wasn’t even awake though. His eyes were surely closed, breathing still even for the most part. Zhoumi tossed around the idea of shaking the other kid awake, but then he thought about how horrible it would be if Key wasn’t one to take wake-up calls in good humor.

Just as Zhoumi backed up, a soft, sleepy voice mumbled, “…Mi…”

 _Is he talking about me?_ Zhoumi leaned forward, confused as to why Key would be dreaming about him. A smirk appeared on the Chinese boy’s face. The sleep-talker was probably fantasizing about kicking Zhoumi around.

Key’s expressions softened, a small smile curving his parted lips. Oh…maybe he wasn’t thinking about the other boy. That was further proved as the next words were uttered. “Mm…Min…ho...”

“Who’s that?” Zhoumi whispered inaudibly, brows knitting. Then an idea struck him, hard and fast. Skillfully, he pushed the drawer back in and began rummaging through everything else. After three more drawers, Zhoumi stumbled upon the “Personal Items” drawer.

There were some random baubles and homework assignments among the mess of stuff. His heart began sinking as he thought maybe it didn’t mean anything…maybe the guy was just dreaming about his lover…but…Zhoumi shook his head and pushed on, digging deeper into the drawer of belongings. If he was right – and he was almost positive he would be – whoever that ‘Minho’ person was, wasn’t even with Key. That would rightfully explain why he was so bitter all the time.

Zhoumi winced, jerking his hand out of the pile of papers. Blood was blooming on his middle finger. Pouting, the third year sucked on the cut. Something moved in his peripheral vision and his head snapped down in time to see a glossy, slightly tattered item fall face down on the floor. With his free hand, Zhoumi picked it up, flipping it over.

It was a photo-booth picture. There were three people crowded into the small space – smiles and laughter all you could see reflected by the camera. Key was in all of them, though he looked far happier in all those photos than in real life. Zhoumi let his eyes fall to the last picture which had been slightly obscured by a message scribbled across the corner.

The third person wasn’t in the photo, leaving only Key and a taller, handsome boy. They were hugging and grinning at each other rather than at the camera. Zhoumi read the little black message: _2009 ~ Key X Minho (Baby Taemin wasn’t in the last one haha)_

Zhoumi forced himself to look away from the memories and put the photos back into the drawer. Quickly, he closed it and stood, trying to get out of the office before Key woke up. He could already hear the slight stirrings of the slumbering boy. Zhoumi scurried towards the door, latching onto the knob and pulling on it to escape.

Just as he left the room, his phone vibrated, causing him to jump. Without breaking stride, Zhoumi checked the text message.

**Eunhyuk says: Hey, where are you? I’m waiting T^T**

The younger male smiled, giggling. He pulled up a reply message. **Sorry~ I had to deliver something to Key >.< But I’ve got something to tell you about!! Can’t wait to see you! I’m on my way : ) **

 

Several minutes later, Zhoumi was jogging into the on-campus café, slightly disheveled but smiling. He walked up to Eunhyuk who stood at his arrival. “I haven’t seen you in forever,” Zhoumi sighed, hugging the University student tightly.

Eunhyuk cocked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? We were together a few days ago.” He laughed, teasingly pushing at Zhoumi. “So what were you so excited about? Oh and is Key still giving you a hard time?”

“Yeah he is but I think I finally know why he’s so bitter,” Zhoumi stated as he took a seat after finally releasing the older boy.

Eunhyuk sipped his cold drink before saying, “Oh, do you mean Minho?”

“H-How did you know?” Zhoumi cried, leaning forward.

“I just know these things,” the blonde shrugged, smirking, “but you really shouldn’t do anything. After all, it’s a douche move to throw it in Key’s face that Minho doesn’t love him anymore—”

“—they were lovers?”

Eunhyuk stiffened. “Fuck,” he muttered, setting the drink down and looking at Zhoumi worriedly. “Hey now, don’t do anything crazy Mi.”

“You know who he loves now right?” the third year demanded – all of his pent up fury pouring out. He wasn’t going to stand for anymore abuse. This was a blessed moment. This was a gift from above. This was fucking karma. “Tell me Eunhyuk,” he snapped, glaring hard at the blonde.

“Calm down Zhoumi,” Eunhyuk hissed, looking around apologetically at the disturbed customers. He grabbed the younger boy’s arm, pulling him out of the café. Originally, Eunhyuk had been hoping for a pleasant little meeting but apparently Zhoumi didn’t know how to have one of those. Whenever they met it was always about something serious or sad or messy. Honestly, he just wanted to spend one stress-free day with the boy.

Zhoumi wriggled in Eunhyuk’s grip as they burst out of the café and into the main square. “Where are we going?” he asked, looking up at the blonde.

“Somewhere quiet,” Eunhyuk sighed, leading them into the mini-park. There were a few other people taking strolls or reading at benches or doing other stuff together but none of them minded Eunhyuk and Zhoumi. After all, they were just another couple enjoying the early spring afternoon right?

Their walking pace slowed as Eunhyuk felt the younger boy resist him less and less. “Are you calm now?” the blonde questioned, loosening his hold on Zhoumi’s wrist and turning to gaze at the boy.

“Yeah…,” he mumbled.

“Good,” Eunhyuk replied, glancing down and smiling warily, “I know you’re stressed Mi, but trying to get revenge is…well, you know it’s not worth it, right?”

Zhoumi swallowed hard, knowing exactly what Eunhyuk was referring to. “Yeah…I guess I’m not very good at getting revenge am I?”

“Yup,” the blonde nodded firmly, chuckling and wrapping an arm around the slim boy’s shoulders. “You can always talk to me when you’re losing it – though you already do that anyway.”

“You make me sound so lame,” Zhoumi frowned, leaning into the one armed hug.

“You’re super lame,” Eunhyuk teased, avoiding a threatening slap.

“Mi?” Zhoumi spun around, eyes still twinkling with humor. His expression faltered when he saw a confused Kyuhyun walking towards him. There was a boy walking with him – someone that was unfamiliar for the most part. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” Kyuhyun asked, circling around to see who the person hugging his boyfriend was. When he saw it was Eunhyuk, the confusion dissipated. “Oh, hey Eunhyuk.”

“Eunhyuk-hyung,” he corrected.

Kyuhyun ignored it and went up to kiss Zhoumi. “I thought you had to do something at KUG,” he mumbled, arms around the older boy’s neck.

A blush spread across his face at the public display of affection. Normally Kyuhyun had more prudence but apparently the boy was in a good mood or something. “Y-Yeah I already finished. I went to hang out with Eunhyuk,” he explained.

“Huh, okay,” Kyuhyun released Zhoumi, turning back to his friend. “Well Donghae and I were going to play soccer with some other people. We’ll see you later.” He brushed his hand against his lover’s, a small smile touching his lips. “Or you can come with us Mi.”

“Naw it’s okay,” Zhoumi shook his head apologetically, “I promised to hang out with Eunhyuk today so I’ll see you tonight Kyu. Nice to meet you Donghae,” he nodded at the handsome boy twiddling with a soccer ball.

Donghae’s eyes lit up and an innocent smile crossed his face. “Hi! Come play with us some time okay Zhoumi?” He tugged on Kyuhyun’s sleeve, “Let’s go~! They’re gonna start without us!”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes but obliged nonetheless. He waved goodbye to them as he hurried off with Donghae towards the soccer fields.

Eunhyuk stayed quiet for the majority of the exchange. A number of emotions had attacked his mind but the one that made him angriest had to be— “Hey, stop blanking out,” Zhoumi stated, pressing his palm against Eunhyuk’s cheek.

“Ah, sorry,” he apologized, smiling down at the other boy. How fucking wrong was it…just how _horrible_ was it…that he absolutely loved that Zhoumi chose him over Kyuhyun? No – …that he absolutely loved Zhoumi in general.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Ryeowook had been trying to avoid Sungmin at all costs but it seemed the latter just wasn’t up for it any longer. That explained the currently uncomfortable position Ryeowook was in, back pressing against the wall and Sungmin’s angry face inches from his own.

“Why don’t you ever want to hang out with me anymore? You’re avoiding me like crazy Wookie and I don’t understand why!” he cried, slamming his fist into the dorm room wall.

He was so stupid for opening the door to his room. He should’ve asked who was on the other side _first_. But…he didn’t. And so, Sungmin had barged in shoving Ryeowook backwards until he hit the small space between the window and drinks cooler. “I’m not avoiding you Minnie…,” he lied, trying to sound convincing.

“Yes you are! Every time we’re together you come up with some sort of excuse to get away from me!” he snapped.

Ryeowook flinched at the force of his friend’s words. “I…I’ve been busy…”

“That’s a lie!” Sungmin retorted. “You’re home right now aren’t you? How busy could you really be if you so readily opened the door to answer me?”

He was livid and Ryeowook was realizing that faster and faster. It was scary how rapidly Sungmin fired back. Just how long had he been swallowing his anger? “…Sungmin…,” he trailed off, not really knowing where to start.

“I mean…we’re _friends_ aren’t we?” his voice broke, lips quivering, “why are you pushing me away? Wasn’t I there when you were unhappy with Kyuhyun? Wasn’t I there to save you from him? Didn’t I show you what it’s like to live without him?”

“You only showed me the good parts of living without Kyu,” Ryeowook blurted. He shut his mouth looking down. The words had slipped. Actually, even he hadn’t expected to say those words.

Sungmin’s eyes widened and he moved his hands to lift Ryeowook’s face up. “…is this really about Kyuhyun…?”

The door opened and both of them whirled around at it. YoungSaeng strolled in whistling and reading a magazine. He twirled his keys in the free hand – completely unaware of what he had interrupted.

Ryeowook slipped away from Sungmin, going over to greet YoungSaeng. He let out a sigh under his breath. The warmth was receding. “YoungSaeng-hyung,” Ryeowook called a bit breathlessly.

The third year jumped, startled eyes turning to look at his roommate. That was the first time Ryeowook had ever seen the other boy shocked. It was…unnatural. “W-Wookie,” he stuttered, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up the awkward reply.

The younger boy’s eyes fell to the magazine and his heartbeat quickened in surprise and curiosity. “Hey…isn’t that—”

“—who’s your friend?” YoungSaeng cut in rather loudly, turning a weirdly wide smile to Sungmin. He rolled up the magazine, stuffing it in his back pocket.

Ryeowook blinked, brows slowly knitting. “But YoungSaeng—”

“—I’m sorry this is really abrupt but could you _please_ leave?” YoungSaeng interrupted once more, his words directed at Sungmin.

Sungmin hesitated but then nodded. He wasn’t one to defy an elder – especially one who looked as panicked as the one speaking to him. As Sungmin passed Ryeowook, he through his friend a look saying _we’ll talk later._

Reluctantly, Ryeowook nodded all the while hoping he could get out of seeing Sungmin. The best solution was waiting for Friday because then Ryeowook would be far away at the beach and relaxing. But for the time being…he turned his eyes back to YoungSaeng as Sungmin walked out of the room and disappeared around the corner.

YoungSaeng shut the door with a little too much force, whipping around to look at Ryeowook. “What did you see?” he snapped.

“U-Uh…,” Ryeowook pointed at the magazine in his roommate’s back pocket, “that…?”

A faint blush touched the third year’s face and he cast his gaze down. “Don’t tell anyone okay?” he barked, expression twisting in embarrassment.

“That you fanboy over Henry Lau?” Ryeowook chimed, grinning at the jaw dropped expression of his senior.

YoungSaeng glared reaching out to ‘attack’ Ryeowook. “Why you little…don’t say that out loud!” he growled, capturing the small boy in a headlock and ruffling his dark red hair.

The younger one laughed and shouted in pain, lightly hitting the third year’s arms. “I-It’s okay hyung! I fanboy over Yesung-hyung~! We’re in the same boat!” he gasped.

“Doesn’t matter you brat,” YoungSaeng teasingly retorted, “you showed disrespect to your hyung. Little kids who speak out of line need to be punished.” He laughed and rested his chin atop Ryeowook’s head, the former abuse relenting. “…He’s really cute you know.”

“Yeah I do,” Ryeowook replied, gently patting his roommate’s arm, a grin forming upon his lips. “When he comes back, we’ll go on another trip to the beach or something and I’ll invite him. What do you think?”

“…Do whatever you want, kid,” YoungSaeng mumbled, his cheeks coloring more, though Ryeowook couldn’t see.

 

Sungmin walked into the Tech Shop, all of his thoughts muddled. Why had he never met that third year before? Better yet, why hadn’t Ryeowook ever introduced them if they were so close? Wasn’t that sort of strange?

It was all a mess. He hadn’t known Ryeowook was so broken up about Kyuhyun. Then again…Sungmin couldn’t imagine how much it must hurt to lose someone like that. If you spent your whole life by one person’s side and then one day that person was ripped away...just how do you describe the pain that comes with? It would almost literally be like having part of you up and walk away.

Guilt spread through Sungmin’s mind and body. Was he too insensitive the past couple months? From an outsider’s point of view it seemed like a good thing to separate the two. After all, Ryeowook was so sheltered and dependent he would never have been able to survive without Kyuhyun right beside him. Then on the other side, Kyuhyun was too possessive for his own good. No matter how cold he got – and Sungmin saw how cold he could get – it was obvious that he thought of Ryeowook as his and his alone. No one was allowed into their little world.

Therefore, how could anyone see that as a healthy relationship?

But to them…maybe it wasn’t about looks. Maybe it was about something deeper that no one else could see.

Sungmin rounded the corner into the lounging area. His hand was covering his face, trying to massage his aching head. There was a scuffling noise and whispers ahead so he lowered his hand, meaning to greet whoever was there that day. It was already the last Build for the Spring Musical so Sungmin wasn’t expecting too many people to be around.

“Ah, hey…,” he looked over but trailed off at what he saw. A silent question passed over Sungmin’s face, quickly followed by a bright red flush. He whipped around, hurrying towards the other end of the Tech Shop. What was with everyone? Why didn’t anyone tell Sungmin anything anymore? Since when were Mir and Dongwoon close?

He shook his head, shutting his brain off. Everything was so strange.

Mir cried out weakly, trying to explain but his words just became gibberish. He turned back to shove Dongwoon away – the boy who was currently pinning him against the cards table by the legs. “B-Back off!” Mir yelped, struggling against the force.

“I was just worried about the cut you got from the power tools,” Dongwoon stated smoothly, running his thumb across the cut breaking Mir’s smooth cheek. He lapped up the blood, smirking and removing his leg from between the awkward boy. “Well who told you to cut the wood like that?” he smiled scarily.

Mir stumbled away, almost knocking over the table in his haste. “I-I’m going to help paint,” he stuttered, chasing after Sungmin who had disappeared.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Kyuhyun yawned and stretched as he walked through the campus. There was so much noise outside and he had no idea why. According to the clock it was only seven in the morning _plus_ it was Spring Break. Why the hell was it so noisy?

So, due to the inability to sleep through the ruckus, he ventured outside to see what was happening. There was a large blue bus parked near the front gate. Oh, the Friday beach-goers were preparing to leave. But why were they being so loud? Kyuhyun hadn’t been woken up by any of the other departures. He frowned, already hating whoever was going on the trip.

A large group of third years and some second years were gathered around the side of the bus getting their picture taken by one of the teachers. They made silly faces and goofed around with one another, looking like they were having the time of their life.

Kyuhyun looked around, seeing several others just like him. They looked pretty pissed off if that said anything.

“What are you doing here, Hound?”

A smirk cut Kyuhyun’s expression. He didn’t even bother turning around to look at the speaker. “What about you Stupid Bunny? Couldn’t get any sleep with perverted guy?”

“ _No_ ,” Sungmin snapped, glaring at the cruel boy, “You know why I’m here. What I don’t understand is why _you’re_ here. You tossed him aside in the first place didn’t you?”

Kyuhyun inclined his head in Sungmin’s direction, lips turning down in a frown. “What are you talking about? I woke up because it was so noisy.” He crossed his arms, shivering slightly from the early morning chill.

“…what?” the black haired boy’s eyes grew wider and he seemed to start panicking. “You shouldn’t be here. Just go away.”

“Why?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow.

“Has he left yet?” Mir yawned, appeared behind Sungmin. His hair was an absolute mess, eyes droopy and barely open. There was a slender, half-asleep boy hanging around his shoulders, mouth open and gnawing absently at Mir’s shoulder. “Taemin stop chewing on me,” he mumbled, trying to pry the fluffy head of honey blonde off.

Minho grabbed a handful of Taemin’s hair, tugging the fairly underdressed boy off of Mir. “If you’re hungry wake up first,” he growled, glaring like death upon the smaller boy. Taemin mumbled incoherently, wrapping his arms around Minho’s neck and pulling himself into the tall boy’s reluctant arms.  

“Ryeowook hasn’t left yet,” Minho stated after looking at the bus, “good thing we didn’t miss it.” He studied the group of people boarding, looking for Ryeowook among them. “Hey, why isn’t he going with us on Sunday?”

Sungmin shook his head, a brief look of hurt passing over his face. “I don’t know…I guess he didn’t want to…”

Minho nodded towards Ryeowook as he finally spotted the boy. The passive look on his face vanished the moment he saw just who was with Ryeowook. All of the sleepiness drained from his features and Minho was grabbing Sungmin’s arm, eyes widely hysterical. “Why is he with _them?_ ” he gasped.

“H-Huh? What are you freaking out about?” Sungmin asked, pulling away from the crazed looking boy. “That’s Wookie’s roommate.”

Just as Minho was about to voice all of his questions, everything clicked in his brain. “Oh…shit…” He wrenched Taemin off of him, tossing the groggy honey blonde to Mir who barely caught him.

Minho ran over to the bus, catching Ryeowook right before he could get on. He jerked the smaller boy around, whisper-yelling, “ _You lied to me_!”

“…I have to go Minho,” Ryeowook said softly, trying to pull away from the iron grip.

“You told me it was a onetime thing! What the hell are you doing?!” Minho tightened his hold on Ryeowook, glaring furiously.

“Everyone does this stuff…why can’t I?” he demanded, a slight fire sparking in his eyes.

Minho gritted his teeth painfully. “ _Because_ this isn’t you Ryeowook!   _Drinking and partying and lying?_ Since when have you ever liked doing any of those things?” He thought he knew the kid better than this. No, he thought Ryeowook trusted him more than this. It hurt to know that after what they went through together, he _still_ wasn’t believed in.

Ryeowook’s eyes flickered to the approaching crowd of people but really, he only focused on one person among them – the one trailed behind.

Sungmin came up, followed by Mir and Taemin. “Hey what’s going on?” He reached out to break the vicious hold Minho had on Ryeowook’s shirt. “Why are you holding onto Wookie so tight?”

“Because he’s doing something stupid,” Minho snapped. Before Sungmin could say anything, he was already blurting out everything. He voiced the drinking incident and all of the lies and everything that could possibly ruin Ryeowook’s carefully built image.

To be perfectly honest, he hadn’t believed Minho had it in him to say all of that. Ryeowook still couldn’t break away even though he desperately wanted to at that point. It was far beyond embarrassing as each of his lies were rattled off – exposed. “Please stop Minho,” he pleaded but the taller, stronger boy wouldn’t relent.

Sungmin listened with wide eyes at the rapid-fire confession. Mir had woken up along the way as well and now stared at Ryeowook in disbelief.

Ryeowook refused to meet any of their eyes…except for one.

“All because of Kyuhyun?” Now that caught everyone’s attention. Sungmin was staring at Ryeowook sadly, regretfully. Minho’s grip on the small boy loosened as he tried to piece together what was happening. Was that Kyuhyun guy really a part of all this? What could he be to Ryeowook if it caused someone so…innocent, to do such shocking things?

Still, he said nothing to them, neither denying nor accepting the question.

“Please Wookie, tell us,” Sungmin begged, reaching out for Ryeowook. Before he could touch him though, Kyuhyun was blocking the hand.

Ryeowook lifted his eyes to the only person who could destroy him so.

“All because of me?” Kyuhyun repeated softly. He wasn’t looking for a clear indication. Everything was written in those large dark eyes. Ryeowook was far too easy to read. It was more than an open book. He _knew_ exactly what made the boy tick.

Zhoumi came up to the scene, looking confused and tired. He had woken up to an empty bed and loud noises from outside. It made him curious so he had left the dorm building in search of his lover and the source of the sounds.

When he arrived on the scene, he saw his boyfriend standing by the bus in a crowd of some tired looking students. Without really thinking about it, he came into the bubble of people, reaching out to get Kyuhyun’s attention. “Kyu—”

“You’re useless.” The entire group went quiet at Kyuhyun’s words. “You can’t even take responsibility for your actions. _I’m_ not the one that made you drink or do whatever the hell is it you’re doing. So don’t even try and use me as a reason for your crappy life. I’m so _sick_ of all your emotions! _Don’t you get it Ryeowook?_ ” he spat, glowering coldly at the wide-eyed boy. “You’re not going to get me to see you this way. You’re never going to get me to see you.”

Kyuhyun reached back, wrapping his arm around Zhoumi’s neck and pulling the older boy down for a breathless kiss. When he released his shocked boyfriend, his eyes were red and angry. “I’m not going to come running if your heart stops working. I won’t be responsible for you drinking until your weak body can’t even function anymore! I’M DONE RYEOWOOK.” He turned away, pulling Zhoumi with him. Kyuhyun tilted his head back just a bit, enough so his voice could reach his oldest companion. “Go fuck up your life as much as you want because I’m not watching anymore. I’m not going to save you.”

 

***

 

Ryeowook didn’t cry. He just boarded the bus, found his seat beside YoungSaeng and quietly leaned back against the cushions. The bus shifted gears, rumbling to life and pulling out of the academy.

What could he say?

Could he rightfully say Kyuhyun was a liar? He had said everything Ryeowook couldn’t – didn’t want to. Those were the words that he hadn’t wanted to hear but hadn’t they also been what he _needed_ to hear? Kyuhyun was serious this time. He wasn’t just separating them. He was declaring the end of everything.

It really was pathetic wasn’t it? Hoping that Kyuhyun would see how much it hurt him to be apart? That Ryeowook was destroying his own body just so Kyuhyun would turn around and hopefully take him back? It was miserable, pitiful but most importantly, futile.

Ryeowook silently closed his eyes. This was the end of his self-destruction. He didn’t know what would come afterwards but at that point, he didn’t particularly care.

Maybe Ryeowook would go back to his friends…or maybe he would stay with YoungSaeng and them.

Did it really even matter?

No one was going to help him. Rather, he didn’t want help. Not after all of the things Kyuhyun said. Wasn’t it sadder if Ryeowook simply went to someone else for comfort because his first choice wasn’t a choice anymore?

“You should sleep, Wookie,” YoungSaeng suddenly said, reaching around Ryeowook’s shoulders and pulling him into his chest. “It’s a pretty long drive and you didn’t sleep much last night did you?”

“Thanks,” Ryeowook mumbled, letting his mind slowly shut down. What YoungSaeng offered was never comfort – even now. What Ryeowook felt in the older boy’s embrace wasn’t warmth and sincerity. It was just friendly ease, nothing more. Perfect, just what he needed to get his jumbled mind back in order.

 

“I’ll take Taemin back to bed,” Minho stated discreetly, not really sure how to act after what had happened. He sort of had the urge to go kick that Kyuhyun guy’s ass but then what would that accomplish? Sadly, Minho had to wonder if those words would drive Ryeowook over the brink or save the kid from further disaster.

Mir and Sungmin slowly backed away from their rigid spots, heading towards the dorm building. Neither one wanted to start conversation after what they had seen. It was…heartbreaking to say the least. To say the most would be impossible. Just how much had those words crushed Ryeowook? The kid had been torn down by the only person he ever cared about.

How do you react to something like that?

“Do you wanna get food?” Mir prompted, hands in his pajama pockets.

Sungmin sighed out of relief. It was sort of nice that Mir hadn’t asked anything serious. Then again, maybe he was too awkward to ask something stressful. “Sure, just let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs,” he stated.

“Okay,” Mir replied, climbing the stairs to his own room. He really wasn’t sure what to do in such a situation. Personally he felt bad for what happened but…wasn’t it Ryeowook’s business? Or maybe it was a friend’s duty to feel guiltier than he was actually feeling.

Mir pulled his phone out, unlocking the screen and opening his most frequently visited Bookmarked page.

 

**Tip #12**

**If your friend is emotionally hurt, the best thing you can do is listen to him or her. It’s alright if you don’t offer comfort. Sometimes all someone needs is a good listener.**

**Example: Let’s say you’ve never had surgery before and your friend is having a hard time and is panicking about the procedure.**

**Scenario: Friend says “What if I don’t wake up?”**

**You pat their shoulder or give them a hug**

****Repeat this as many times as needed until your friend is calm****

 

Well, if Ryeowook came back sad then at least Mir would know what to do. He sighed and put the phone away, walking to his room and opening the door. Thunder was still asleep and snoring loudly. Mir studied his roommate for a short while.

Wasn’t it strange?

While Mir’s world was going topsy-turvy, the rest of the world remained unaffected. Right in front of him, someone who was so close to him, was still resting peacefully – utterly undisturbed the goings-on of Mir’s life.

Truly, when he looked at Thunder, it dawned on him just how miniscule he was. But not only him. Everyone.

 No one cared about Ryeowook’s pain or Mir’s mania or Sungmin’s confusion or Minho’s deep-rooted flaws or Taemin’s lust or Kyuhyun’s indifference or Eunhyuk’s unrequited love or Zhoumi’s guilt or YoungSaeng’s role or Dongwoon’s reasons.

The only people that cared were caught up in the web already. Everyone else didn’t give a flying rat’s ass. It was none of their business what mess the aforementioned people were getting into.

Perhaps that was why friendship was so important. If it weren’t for one another – all of the people caught up in the mess – wouldn’t it be just a meaningless life?

This was just Mir though. What would he know about friendship?

He pulled on a sweatshirt and grabbed his keys.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Zhoumi knocked on the dorm room door. Oddly enough, after that morning’s sudden kiss, Kyuhyun said he wanted to be alone. Without telling Zhoumi anything, he changed and left for some unknown destination. It sort of stung but at the same time, he had to wonder…why didn’t it hurt _more_?

The University dorm buildings were far larger than the High School Division but the rooms were also built like apartments. Instead of two to a room, there were four to an apartment. It was an attempt to simulate the real world, and for the most part it succeeded. Well, that’s what Eunhyuk had told Zhoumi at least.

Since there was nothing to do and he certainly wasn’t going to go be abused by Key at KUG, he decided to pay Eunhyuk a visit at the University. No, it wasn’t really a friendly visit – when was it ever – but he did have an urge to see the older boy.

A handsome boy answered the door, dressed in only boxers. His hair was a wreck and his eyes were a bit irritated but other than that yes, he was incredibly attractive. Zhoumi flushed, shifting his stance a bit. “Excuse me, is Eunhyuk here?” he asked.

“Huh? Hyukjae?” the University student mumbled, scratching his head and yawning. “Ah, yeah he’s asleep. You can come in if you want.” He stepped away from the door, opening it wider to reveal a rather spacious living room and kitchen.

“T-Thanks,” Zhoumi answered, smiling a bit and walking inside. “My name is Zhoumi. I’m a third year in the High School Division,” he introduced, offering his hand to the relatively naked man.

The latter’s eyes fluttered in surprise. “Oh…no wonder…,” he mumbled, smirking softly and taking the hand, “I’m Changmin. Nice to meet you Zhoumi. If you want, I’ll take you to Hyukjae’s room.”

“Oh, sure,” Zhoumi smiled tentatively, unsure what to make of the smirk.

Changmin led the way down a hall, stopping at a door near the end. He turned the knob, indicating with his head for Zhoumi to go inside. Once the younger boy was passed the threshold, he closed the door.

Zhoumi hadn’t really been expecting that but he didn’t particularly mind. A grin worked its way onto his lips as he eyed the sleeping blonde. Eunhyuk was half off the bed, his sheets following the sloppy behavior. The normally fixed blonde hair was sticking up in weird places and appearing to be the only spot of bright color in the dim room. A wife beater clung to his muscular frame, backside showing.

Stealthily, he crept over to Eunhyuk, preparing to shock the older boy. Zhoumi opened his mouth, leaning down. He was about to shout something to scare him the head of blonde shot up.

Eunhyuk grabbed Zhoumi around the neck and head, yanking him down onto the bed. In a flash, he pinned the younger male to the gray bed sheets. “You really want it this early Changmin?” he murmured with a chuckle, eyes half closed and very obviously half asleep.

“W-Wait,” Zhoumi yelped but then he felt oh-so familiar lips crashing down on his. Eunhyuk swallowed all of the indignant cries, forcing his tongue into the quickly submitting mouth.

His lower body dropped onto Zhoumi’s, giving him the chance to push the latter’s loose shirt up. “I like it better when you sleep in the nude,” Eunhyuk remarked, nibbling at the boy’s throat as his fingers fondled the slim body. “Dude…where’d your abs go?” he laughed, licking a soft spot near Zhoumi’s jaw.

A moan escaped his mouth, eyes closing as he tried to control his body’s reaction to the ministrations. His heartbeat accelerated – beating faster than it had beat in months.

Suddenly everything stopped. Zhoumi felt the person hovering over him jerk back, forcing both of them to get to sitting positions.

Eunhyuk was covering his mouth, eyes large. “Oh my god…oh my fucking god,” he whispered.

Zhoumi was breathing heavily, clothing disheveled. His face was deeply flushed. “I-I…sorry, I was just trying to surprise you…”

“Shit…no,” he shook his head, looking around the room as if there would be an answer to all of his problems somewhere. “Don’t apologize. It was my mistake. I’m so sorry Zhoumi.” Eunhyuk backed away more, nearly falling off the bed.

Zhoumi wouldn’t allow a silence to settle though. “…I didn’t know you were with Changmin-hyung. He seems like a really nice guy…”

“Ah, he is,” the older one mumbled, still trying to get over his shock and guilt, “…but we’re just fooling around…nothing serious. …Why are you here Mi?”

Something wet hit the palms of his hands and he had to look down to see what it was. “Oh…,” Zhoumi mumbled, wiping at the tears.

Eunhyuk scrambled forward, taking the other boy’s wrists and pulling them away from his face. “Why are you crying?” he asked anxiously, his fingers warm around Zhoumi’s thin wrists.

Unconvincingly, he laughed, the noise distorted by trembles. “K-Kyu,” Zhoumi saw the flicker of anger in Eunhyuk’s gaze at the mention of his boyfriend, “don’t be mad…or I don’t know actually…Kyuhyun kissed me…but it was to show that Ryeowook person – you know his old friend – that he didn’t care about him anymore. I…that’s not a good reason to kiss your lover is it…?”

Eunhyuk offered comforting words but none of it processed. Originally, Zhoumi came to see the blonde because of Kyuhyun …but were the tears really because of Kyuhyun’s cold brashness? Because all Zhoumi could think about was how Eunhyuk was sleeping with Changmin and not him.

***

Kyuhyun ran down the soccer field, kicking the ball into the goal. The black and white sphere slammed into the worn-out net with a soft thumping sound. Sweat dripped down his neck, sliding past his loose white t-shirt.

He had finally said it. He had finally told Ryeowook all of the things he had held back from saying over the years. Kyuhyun was supposed to be feeling on top of the world – light as air. Yet there he was in an empty soccer field kicking ball after ball into an old goal to clear his mind. Instead of feeling better, somehow his head was pounding and his chest hurt.

Slumping down in the grass, Kyuhyun threw his head back, stretching out on the soft green field. He didn’t mean the last part. He really _would_ care if Ryeowook died. No – he rolled onto his side – Kyuhyun knew for a fact that if Ryeowook ever died…there’d really be no point in living without him.

Living apart from Ryeowook was one thing.

Living without Ryeowook was another thing.

So why had he said all of that? Well, it was the truth. Those were his feelings…at the time.

Just, now he was praying that the kid wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Kyuhyun clenched his fists, eyes squeezing shut in aggravation. What the fuck was going on with him? Why wouldn’t he stop thinking about Ryeowook like he said? It was always Ryeowook, Ryeowook, and more Ryeowook.

How could he ever explain that he didn’t want the kid, but at the same time he didn’t want anyone else to have him? Or rather, no one else would ever be able to match Kyuhyun.

No one was good enough for Ryeowook. No one but Kyuhyun.

 


	18. Chapter 18

The ocean smelled salty and fresh, an overwhelming atmosphere in comparison to the frosty forest hideaway Ryeowook had none for over a year. He didn’t quite smile at the view but his heart thrummed with life and that was nearly as good as a smile.

“Have you ever been to the ocean?” YoungSaeng asked, draping an arm around Ryeowook’s shoulders and grinning down at the shorter boy.

He nodded, peering out at the sparkling waves, “Once or twice when I was little. I really liked it…but I can’t swim.”

“ _What?_ ” the third year gasped, eyes widening, “How are we supposed to have fun if you can’t swim, dummy?” He teasingly smacked Ryeowook on the top of his head. “Naw, it’s alright. I’ll teach you if you want.”

“R-Really?” Ryeowook replied immediately, surprised by the offer. He was about to question the older one’s sudden kindness but then he stopped and grinned unenthusiastically. “You…You’re just trying to get on my good side aren’t you?”

YoungSaeng frowned, “Why would I want to be on your good side?”

“Because Henry is coming back in a few months and you’re afraid I won’t introduce him to you,” he stated, laughing quietly and dodging a flustered punch.

“Get back here you brat!” YoungSaeng roared, kicking his sandals off and chasing the younger boy into the white sand.

Ryeowook was laughing and stumbling through the uneven terrain, yelling back at the person chasing him. Anything he could do to keep his mind far, far away was welcome. The last thing he wanted to do was dwell on Kyuhyun and his own pitiful self. He had no desire to think about the emotions running rampant through his body nor did he wish to mope over the words that could very well send him spiraling into a darker place.

Two warm arms wrapped around Ryeowook’s shoulders, tackling him into the sand. “You run pretty damn fast,” YoungSaeng breathed, chest pounding hard.

“I have a heart condition,” Ryeowook remarked, giggling at the frown directed at him.

“It’s nice today isn’t it?” the older boy sighed, flopping onto his backside and looking up at the high noon sun.

Ryeowook closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply the clean scents. “Yeah, it’s really nice…”

“What are you two doing?” KyuJong called from the shoreline, his bare feet engulfed by the white waves. “Come over here!”

YoungSaeng grumbled under his breath but then stood up, offering his hand to Ryeowook. “C’mon, it’s time to learn how to swim,” he smirked.

“…will I die?” the younger boy prompted softly, taking the standing one’s hand.

“Not likely,” YoungSaeng replied, clasping the slender boy’s hand and jerking him up. He caught Ryeowook around the waist, steadying him.

They headed towards KyuJong and the others. Ryeowook felt hands pressing against his flat stomach, pushing the t-shirt up and over his head. He flushed, covering his skin with crossed arms. “You should’ve said something before doing that,” Ryeowook huffed.

YoungSaeng laughed, slipping his own shirt off and grabbing the shorter one’s upper arm. “You’re still such a kid, Wookie,” he rolled his eyes, abruptly yanking Ryeowook forward and throwing him over one shoulder. “Let’s go in deeper.”

Protests burst from the terrified boy’s mouth, his legs and arms flailing ungracefully. “P-Put me down! I’ve never swam before! Don’t make me do this…,” Ryeowook squeaked, heart beating faster at the prospect of dying.

_I’m not going to save you._

 

He kicked harder, lips trembling. Kyuhyun wouldn’t save him. Kyuhyun wouldn’t save him. Kyuhyun wouldn’t save him. The tears were coming. Ryeowook swallowed them back but the look of pure horror wasn’t missed by his teasing hyungs.

KyuJong struggled through the water, catching YoungSaeng on the shoulder. “Dude…I think he’s seriously panicking,” he said nervously, reaching out with his other hand to touch Ryeowook’s cheek. The boy’s skin was deathly cold and blotchy, dark eyes astoundingly wide. “Yeah, don’t push him.” He sounded distracted or perhaps that’s just how Ryeowook heard it.

Everything was rather warped and indifferently swirling and mangling in his mind. Ryeowook gulped, his dry throat unquenched by the movement. Suddenly he felt his body shifting, the heels of his feet sinking beneath the surface of water.

YoungSaeng shook his slight body. “Yo, what’s wrong? Why are you freaking out?” he demanded, brows knitted together. “We’re not even that deep Ryeowook. It’s only at my waist.”

“...he won’t save me…,” Ryeowook croaked, the words barely coherent. He hadn’t wanted to think about Kyuhyun…so why did he always enter his thoughts? Why couldn’t Ryeowook keep him out for longer than a minute? It was aggravating and painful. Every word he had ever uttered deepened the wounds on Ryeowook’s heart.

Why couldn’t Kyuhyun love him like before?

Why couldn’t they go back?

Why wouldn’t Kyuhyun save him anymore?

“Yo kid, why are you crying?” YoungSaeng was back to shore now, holding Ryeowook close to his chest and trying to rock the boy like he might a sad baby. “What the fuck is this? Are you that scared of swimming? You don’t have to swim.”

Ryeowook shook his head, cracking a very small smile at YoungSaeng’s panicked state. Rarely did you see the third year anything but calm and/or drunk. “No…it’s not that,” he whispered, patting the place over his slightly warmed heart, “…I don’t want to die…that’s why I won’t swim.”

The older one cocked an eyebrow, walking Ryeowook under a large shady umbrella. “I don’t get you Wookie. You’re pretty weird. But whatever, just chill out here. I’ll be in the water so if you need anything just ask one of the chaperones I guess.” He ruffled Ryeowook’s hair and placed a pair of sunglasses over the seated boy’s eyes. “See ya.” Then he was headed back into the ocean, laughing and splashing the others with water.

 Ryeowook sighed, leaning back on the beach blanket. What was wrong with him? Why did he have to ruin a perfectly good time with his drama? It would’ve been better if he just stayed at the academy and wallowed in his own angst. But…Ryeowook glanced over at the frolicking third years; it was nice to see that no one tried especially hard to comfort him.

The last thing he needed at the moment was someone’s emotional companionship. He needed another distraction. Alcohol wasn’t strong enough anymore. Although Ryeowook hadn’t tried the drowning himself in liquor presently, he had a distinct feeling that the comforting abilities were vastly limited.

There had to be something stronger.

Something that wouldn’t kill him yet at the same time, it had to be something that would bring him near enough to the brink, but never over it. Because…well, no one was coming to grab his wrist, jerk him back and hold him close.

Ryeowook had to be his own life vest, his own bungee cord, his own savior.

The sound of strong waves suddenly washed over his thoughts, silencing the incessant ramblings and bringing a soothing – painfully temporary – peace.

 


	19. Chapter 19

_“I want to become a star,_

_Wherever on this earth…”_

Ryeowook stepped out of the inn’s bathroom, walking towards the sound of the music. The tune was unfamiliar – an unpopular song perhaps? He closed his eyes, swaying to the gentle acoustic strings and voices.

Where was it coming from?

_“No matter at what time_

_I want to shine for you all…”_

Carefully, the young boy slipped into his sandals, striding down the front steps and towards a crackling, glowing fire just off the beachfront. He could see people gathered around it now, their shadows playing off of one another.

KyuJong turned his head and broke into a grin. “Look who finally decided to join us~!” he laughed, raising his bottle of beer in cheers. The others added to the welcoming hurrahs, toasting to Ryeowook’s arrival.

 

_24/7 from Monday to Sunday night_

_Together with us, you will be happy…”_

The music stopped. Ryeowook tilted his head away from the drunken hyungs. His eyes landed on the acoustic guitar in YoungSaeng’s arms, a smile on the older boy’s lips.

“What was that called?” Ryeowook asked, crouching down next to his roommate and leaning against him.

YoungSaeng shrugged setting the guitar aside and picking up two bottles. “I’m not sure. It’s just something I play with sometimes,” he said casually, handing the beverage to Ryeowook, “but we were waiting for you, brat. Why did it take so long to bathe?”

“I was waiting for the water to be the right temperature.”

“ _What?_ ”

Ryeowook was speaking mindlessly, as if he had been programmed to say the following lines. “If it’s too cold, my heart rate will become spasmodic. If the water is too hot, my heart rate will rise too quickly.”

“…Is your heart that bad?” YoungSaeng prompted, taking a sip of his drink as he eyed the still untouched bottle in the younger one’s hands.

The latter blinked, shaking his head in an attempt to gather his thoughts. “Ah, no it’s not…I mean, the better I take care of it, the better it will be. So if I spend a lot of time trying to maintain balance, there’s a greater chance of it becoming a small issue.” He smiled reassuringly and took his first sip of the drink.

YoungSaeng nodded slowly, a bit surprised by the answer. Normally kids with bad pasts and even worse bodies would be sad and perhaps suicidal. So why was this brat so bent on getting better? YoungSaeng wasn’t exactly betting on Ryeowook becoming a world famous singer or musician or something…so what else was there to look forward to in life? At least, that’s how he felt from a pessimistic standpoint.

“Did someone teach you those things?” YoungSaeng questioned.

Ryeowook cast his eyes down, toying with the chilled bottle in his pale hands. “Yeah…but that’s not important. We should be having fun!” He looked up, grinning. “How often will we get to come here?”

The third year attempted to rebut him but was cut off by Ryeowook’s sudden hyperactive behavior. Without much warning, the second year starting rampaging around the drunkards, joining in their merriment and leaving YoungSaeng to his own devices.

It didn’t last long though. Think about it, who always hosted all the parties? How could YoungSaeng _not_ be part of the festivities? And so, he got to his feet, finished the beer, and crossed the campfire.

 

Several hours passed by with all of them growing drunker and more slap happy. By the time 2 o’clock came around, the camp fire had long since been abandoned, the party dying away in one of the open air rooms of the inn.

The chaperones had long since gone off somewhere – indifferent to whatever mayhem YoungSaeng’s group of friends was up to. As long as the kids returned safe and, for the most part – sound, then there would be no problem. Why not let teenagers be teenagers? That’s what the Director of the Academy promoted all the time so there was no way to complain.

Ryeowook shook the bottle in his hand, pouting as he realized it was empty. How many drinks had he gone through? Hadn’t he been planning on not drinking? Or maybe it was something else? Whatever, not like it mattered anyway since he was already drunk – wasted, to be more accurate.

He giggled, letting the cold glass slip from his fingers as he rolled onto his knees to stand. The world was bright blue and silver from the moonlight, but to his sedated eyes, everything appeared like a vortex of monochrome colors. Who knew the world could be so pretty?

“Watch out!” YoungSaeng caught Ryeowook, knocking him over. The older boy chuckled, low and sweet.

“Was I falling?” the delirious red head mumbled, laughing and looping his arms around YoungSaeng’s neck.

“I thought you were…but I guess not,” the latter replied, smiling and fumbling to keep his balance over Ryeowook, “Hey…why you so cute, Wookie?”

He shrugged, lips first pursing and then curving into a grin. “You’re cute too, hyung~! I love you~!” Ryeowook crowed, tugging at the hovering boy’s t-shirt.

“Mm…thank you,” YoungSaeng leaned down, pecking alcohol soaked lips against alcohol soaked lips. They simultaneously smiled and laughed into the sloppy kiss, not really understanding what was happening but knowing damn well how good it felt.

There was something strangely satisfying about drinking until you collapse and then getting some hormonal action. Perhaps there was a scientific reason. Perhaps there was a more romanticized ideal of quenching despair with lust. Which is the preferred option?

Ryeowook accepted the invading tongue, tightening his hold around the older boy. With heavy, uncoordinated steps, YoungSaeng pulled himself and Ryeowook up, stumbling into a wall first. They were shushing each other’s laughs, trying not to awaken the dead asleep people around them.

Warm fingers crawled up Ryeowook’s backside, pushing the shirt up and over his head. YoungSaeng refused to break away from the boy and so they half-tumbled, half-stumbled out into the empty hallway, trying to find their assigned room.

After many failed attempts, the third year grunted in approval as he found an empty room and jerked the younger boy in with him. The door shut behind them, moonlight spilling in through the open windows.

“You taste good,” YoungSaeng remarked, licking Ryeowook’s lips playfully as he gained deeper access into his mouth.

The smaller one ran his hands over the muscular lines of the boy lying on top of him, enjoying the tingly feeling of skin on skin. He could only hum in agreement to the third year’s words.

Their centers brushed, forcing a gasp from Ryeowook’s swollen lips. YoungSaeng pulled back, eyes heavy and drunken as he studied the red faced boy.

“…Can we fuck?” he whispered, sucking at Ryeowook’s throat as he waited for an answer.

“Y-You mean sex?” the younger one mumbled, regaining some sense at those words. His eyes closed briefly, body shivering at the intense sensations rolling through his serviced neck.

YoungSaeng pressed a soft kiss to the bruise he made. “Yeah, I really wanna fuck you,” he breathed against his roommate’s ear, “it’ll feel even better than alcohol….”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ryeowook whimpered, struggling to speak through the haze of hormones.

“People drink for a reason,” the third year stated impatiently, “but at some point it’s just not enough. You’re there aren’t you Wookie?” He caressed Ryeowook’s face, gently nibbling at the boy’s bottom lip. “Don’t you want something new…? Something like sex? You’ve never had it before right?” YoungSaeng smirked at the innocent head shake. “I’ll make you feel good. So let’s fuck, hmm?”

Ryeowook gulped, his breath hitching at the sudden contact made to his clothed lower regions. “W-Will it hurt?” his voice was soft, barely above a whisper…but that was all YoungSaeng needed to hear.

“It might. But I’ll minimize it as much as possible,” he chuckled, licking his lips and unbuttoning Ryeowook’s pants.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Sungmin walked with Mir through the campus, neither one really saying anything. The moon was high in the sky, blazing down on their miniscule forms. Both of them had tried desperately to keep their minds off of a certain person.

However, it seemed impossible.

How could they stop thinking about Ryeowook after the way he left?

“Summer break is really close…,” Mir remarked stiffly, looking back and forth between Sungmin and the ground.

The black haired boy sighed softly and smiled forcefully. “Yeah, it is. These next few months are going to go by fast aren’t they?” Sungmin peered around the lively academy, seeing the dorm buildings pounding with music and students racing around the darkened campus playing games.

Though…he watched some supervisors catch the outdoor enthusiasts, pushing them towards one of the many buildings. Sungmin chuckled. It was dangerous to roam around after hours, huh? Well, when you were playing games instead of coming back from dinner.

“We still have the summer play,” Mir stated, “and exams, before July comes around.”

Sungmin nodded faintly as he idled up the steps of Dorm 2, opening the door. “How long is our break anyway? I can never remember.”

“I think we have all of July off,” the other boy replied, entering the air conditioned dormitory. He breathed a sigh of relief. It had been rather warm out there – even if he hadn’t noticed until the temperature change.

They climbed the stairs, bypassing all of the hyped up teenagers along the way. Everyone appeared to be preoccupied with something or other, whether that was hanging out in the lounge, studying, or busying themselves in their dorm rooms.

Sungmin blinked, having realized how quiet it had become between them. Shoot. The silence was bringing up thoughts of that certain someone. He scrambled for a distraction, looking around the hallway. Suddenly, his eyes widened and a grin broke across his face. “Ah! Why don’t we go see if Minho and Taemin are free?” It was a sad move. Really, Sungmin didn’t particularly _want_ to see the two arrogant boys, but right then and there, it was his only option.

Without thinking about it, Sungmin tried the door knob. “Oh…it’s locked.” he mumbled, flushing at his mistake. Why wouldn’t a dorm room be locked?

Mir couldn’t think of anything to say, so he reached into his pocket and unlocked the door. “Taemin gave me a key,” he explained softly, face coloring as he turned the knob.

To this day, neither Sungmin nor Mir could explain their train of thought concerning the situation. Why hadn’t they just knocked? Why hadn’t they just called through the door or something to warn the people on the other side?

The door pushed in.

Underneath the sheets of one bed were Minho and Taemin drenched in lust. That familiar head of honey blonde swayed slightly to match the unfortunately acute sounds of labored breathing. Strong hands gripped the thin boy’s upper body as a handsome face sat up to do something or other with Taemin’s ignored neck.

Minho’s heavy dark eyes flitted up casually – an emotion that only lasted a second as he processed who was standing in the doorway.

“Why did you stop?” Taemin whined, tilting his head back a bit to follow his friend’s eyes. Unlike Minho, the boy just smirked and untangled himself from bed sheets and the stunned one’s lap. He felt around the ground, finding a pair of sweatpants and pulling them on before climbing off the mattress. “You could’ve knocked.”

 

Sungmin bolted from the room. As if on cue, Minho was throwing aside the blankets, fumbling with his jeans and racing out after the runaway.

What the fuck? Why did he just barge into the room? Minho gritted his teeth, swinging around a corner and dashing down the polished hallway. Yes, he knew that Sungmin didn’t care about him like that, but…with the way he reacted, couldn’t Minho take that as a hopefully sign? Then again, whatever was growing in Sungmin’s heart was probably just shattered by…yeah. Fuck.

It took nearly five minutes to catch Sungmin – damn that boy could run fast. Minho reached out, latching onto the black haired boy’s wrist and whirling him around. “Why are you running?” he gasped, panting and holding the smaller one against the entry hall wall. A second too late and the chase would’ve gone outside. Thank whatever heaven and hell _that_ didn’t happen.

Sungmin’s eyes were rimmed red, glare hateful and face flushed. “Let go of me!” he shouted, writhing heatedly against the iron grips.

“Why did you run away?” Minho demanded, shoving Sungmin back harder.

“Was I supposed to stay there and _watch_?” he snapped, jaw clenched tightly.

The taller boy opened his mouth, prepared to fire back – but then he realized there was nothing he could rightfully say to that. Really, Sungmin had a point. What had Minho been expecting? Slowly, he took a deep breath and loosened his hold on the slender boy, slightly. “Sorry…ah, you’re right,” Minho admitted softly, awkwardly. He wasn’t used to saying things like that…if it wasn’t already painfully obvious.

“Whatever, just let me go,” Sungmin muttered, hands fisted angrily.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere of importance to you.”

Minho bit his lip. Why did this have to happen? It wasn’t even his fault! Taemin was getting all hot and needy. As a friend – as a fuck buddy – wasn’t he supposed to satisfy those urges? But…his eyes wandered down to Sungmin’s cold features – maybe it wasn’t worth it.

Reluctantly, Minho released the black haired beauty and stepped back.

Without a word, Sungmin found the front door’s knob, twisting it and jerking it open.

The boy left alone slammed his fist into a wall, ignoring the tingling sensations and cracking paint. Who the fuck cared? At least the wall could be repaired. How was he supposed to repair something that hadn’t even fully developed? Sungmin hadn’t even admitted to liking him yet.

But he blew it. He fucking blew it.

There was nothing keeping Sungmin from being with Ryeowook. There was also nothing keeping Ryeowook from being with Sungmin, right?

After what Minho saw that morning, it was as if fate had literally shoved everyone else aside to make room for them.

Just…why couldn’t fate smile down on Minho once in a while?

 

Taemin crossed his arms, head tilting to one side softly. “What’s wrong Mir? Shocked?” he guessed indifferently, a smile playing on his lips.

What could he say? Mir swallowed, looking around the room for something to help him. There was no manual for dealing with love interests – or well, no manual that Mir had come across. He never thought it was important to have someone else tell him how to run a relationship. Wasn’t half the fun of being with someone…learning everything along the way?

But…now what was he supposed to say?

“C’mon, speak up,” Taemin prompted, taking a step towards the stunned child, “tell me what you’re thinking.”

“…I…well I thought…,” Mir trailed off, moving slightly away from Taemin. It suddenly felt like there was a massive wall blocking everyone from Mir. His throat felt swollen and his eyes were bleary.

Taemin giggled, leaning down to look at Mir’s lowered face. “You thought we were lovers?” he murmured, smiling unremorsefully. “But Mir, you can’t blame me. I told you from the beginning that I just wanted sex. And you’re really good at it. So…I hope this clears everything up.”

“We…,” Mir paused, strengthening his voice as much as possible, “…were getting along though…weren’t we? I…I t-thought you were having fun with me.” He took another step away as Taemin approached him, a subtle move that wasn’t noticed by the other one.

“Yeah it was fun,” he stated in that same flat voice, “but I mean, the only reason I even approached you was for sex. We can keep doing it right?”

Mir wanted to shake his head no, but his body wasn’t listening. Instead of denying Taemin, he was nodding and allowing that wall to crumble, even knowing that when the wall rebuilt itself, it would be an entirely too difficult struggle to tear it down for a third time.

“Good,” Taemin grinned, brushing past Mir to leave the room, “I’m gonna go take a shower. You can join me if you feel like it.” He chuckled and disappeared down the hall.

He wouldn’t join Taemin. Rather, Mir was certain he _couldn’t_ join Taemin. Instead, he retreated to the only place that made him feel safe.

The Tech Shop.

It had been a blur of colors and motion, but by the time Mir arrived at the familiar black door, he was out of breath and his eyes were filled with such a thick sheet of tears he couldn’t see properly. They were dripping down his red face in long, wide streaks, curving around his jaw and trailing down his throat.

Had he ran all the way across campus? How long had the tears been falling? Why was he crying? A part of Mir had to have known Taemin’s real intentions.

It wasn’t as if the blonde had ever lied about anything.

Mir stumbled into the lounging area, his skin cold and displeased with the heavy air conditioning. Fumbling around, he found the wool blanket on the couch and curled up underneath it, hoping for some comfort in the man-made warmth.

Why did everything hurt?

“It’s Spring Break! Don’t spend all your time in the dark,” an amused voice called, any tone of recognition missing. Footsteps grew louder as Dongwoon ambled up to the huddled figure, investigating the visitor. “Hey, did you hear me? Don’t spend your break…in…” He jerked the blanket back, eyes softening.

Mir’s lips trembled, the incessant tears even noticeable in the dark. The already crumpled expression broke down further. Incoherent wails burst from his mouth as he stretched out both arms for a hug.

“Goodness, what’s wrong?” Dongwoon mumbled gently, pulling Mir to his feet and hugging him tightly. The shaking boy wrapped his arms around the taller one’s neck as he cried harder into the warm chest before him.

As much as Mir wanted to answer, he just couldn’t. Lee Joon-hyung was wrong. All of the pain wasn’t worth the small affection. It would never be.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Zhoumi took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. It was the last night of KUG’s special Spring Break. Honesty, he was ready for the day to be over already. Every night had been too long and that irritating Key had been riding his tail for forever.

Not to mention there were many other problems he didn’t want to deal with. Zhoumi dropped his head on the desk, eyes squeezing shut.

Ever since the day he visited Eunhyuk’s dorm, the blonde’s face and breath and smile and voice…everything spun around in his mind like a circuit. Zhoumi gripped his fists, teeth clenching. Dammit.

“What the fuck?”

Zhoumi stifled an aggravated groan. “What do you want, Key?”

“You’re supposed to be out there helping waiter,” the KUG owner snapped, glaring at the exhausted figure lying on the desk.

“…fine.” He stood up with great effort and barged out of the room, shoving past a miffed Key. You couldn’t blame Zhoumi. He loathed Key. He loathed working. He fucking _hated_ everything and everyone in that singular moment – except for Eunhyuk.

“What’s up with you?” Key called as he caught up with a vehement Zhoumi. “You’re more irritated than normal. Got in a fight with your boyfriend?” He scoffed, smirking and waiting for the glare that would undoubtedly come.

Zhoumi staggered, eyes widening. _Kyuhyun…_ Why wasn’t he thinking about Kyuhyun? No…he knew. He knew very well the truth. It was cruel and painful to admit and for a while longer, he wouldn’t dare admit it out loud. “Ah…no, I didn’t,” he mumbled back, fixing his stride and continuing into the bustling main room.

“Whatever,” Key shrugged walking in after Zhoumi and joining a group of third years occupying a booth.

 _Could this night get any worse?_ It only took a moment for Zhoumi to see the head of platinum blonde hair at the bar. His heart skipped at the sight of his senior and a smile unconsciously spread across his features.

All of the joy evaporated in an instant though as Zhoumi’s eyes rested on Changmin sitting close to Eunhyuk. The two university students were laughing and drinking, their hands brushing over one another intimately. Eunhyuk in particular had taken the opportunity to rub Changmin’s thigh. The latter grinned and scooted a bit closer to his roommate.

Warm hands brushed Zhoumi’s face. The boy jolted in panic, eyes flickering to the person touching him. Kyuhyun’s face fell into view…but instead of the proper reaction, Zhoumi found himself slumping further.

Those just…weren’t the hands he wanted.

“Mimi, I came to pick you up,” Kyuhyun stated, leaning forward to capture Zhoumi’s lips, “your shift is ending soon right?”

Zhoumi fixed his expression into a smile. “Yeah, I think I can leave now actually.” He knew Key would be outraged but he didn’t want to… _couldn’t_ stand to see Eunhyuk. His chest tightened but he pushed it back, cupping Kyuhyun’s hands that held his face. “Did you have something you wanted to do tonight?”

“I was going to hang out with Donghae, but then he bailed so I figured we could spend some time together,” Kyuhyun chuckled playfully, tilting his head and gently kissing Zhoumi again.

“That’s a great reason to spend time with your lover, Kyu,” the older boy remarked, rolling his eyes and returning the absent kisses they shared between words. The feelings weren’t bubbling or setting his body aflame, but it was better than thinking about other things. At least when Kyuhyun held him, or a short while, Zhoumi could focus on something physical instead of emotional.

 

“You like him that much?” Changmin scoffed, twirling his drink before downing it and shooting Eunhyuk a wary look.

“No,” the blonde murmured, hand slipping off the other one’s thigh.

“Bull fucking shit,” he snorted, leaning close to Eunhyuk’s ear to whisper, “your face when his boyfriend kissed him was unmistakable.” Changmin backed away slightly, running his fingers lightly along his roommate’s sloping cheek. “If you wanna convince people you don’t love him, then you need to start controlling your face.”

Eunhyuk dropped his head tiredly. “They’re happy for the most part. It’s not my place to mess with that.” He smiled a strained sort of smile and set his half finished drink down. “I mean, I was the one who got them back together. How would it look if I wanted to break them up?”

“Does it matter how it looks?” Changmin prompted.

“…Yeah it does,” Eunhyuk sighed, “because I have too much pride.” His eyes flitted over to the giggling and kissing couple. It was a cruel sight – as if the world was taunting him, telling him that he had waited far too long to make a move. And really, he had waited too long. Eunhyuk had had a two year head start on Kyuhyun but he wasted it.

He lost his chance with Zhoumi. During those two years, why hadn’t he made a move? Why hadn’t he told Zhoumi about his love from the beginning?

“Wanna have some fun?” Changmin asked after an extended time.

Eunhyuk took the other boy’s hand, leading him through the crowded club.

Fun.

Fun was good. Fun was a distraction.

***

Ryeowook imagined feeling like shit.

Ryeowook had also imagined feeling guilt.

But neither one was the result.

In fact, he found himself a bit sore and overall rather pleased. Although the trip was somewhat of a blur, he remembered enough to know what had happened between him and YoungSaeng. Whether or not he had done that for the right reasons were up for debate, but of course most people would heartily agree it was a stupid decision.

But…had it really been all that idiotic?

Having sex with someone…wasn’t it already a casual thing? Ryeowook couldn’t understand now why he had looked down on Minho for doing those sorts of things. What was the harm when both parties were perfectly fine afterwards?

As for love and making love…there was no such thing. The only person Ryeowook would ever love hadn’t wanted him. Kyuhyun had “made love” with the person he loved. Was Ryeowook supposed to wait until that love someday, somehow transferred? What if it never transferred?

“Are you feeling better?”

Ryeowook looked up from the book he had been reading. YoungSaeng shut the door of their room, walking over to sit down beside the younger boy. “It’s already been two days. I’m okay,” Ryeowook assured, grinning and sitting up, book falling onto his pillow.

“Well you were limping up until yesterday,” YoungSaeng smirked, “I was afraid you were more delicate than I originally thought.”

“Shut up,” the second year mumbled, flushing, “I think I was having too much fun…”

The older boy laughed, eyes shining with humor. “Seriously? Was it because you drank so much that night? Well whatever, if you had a good time that’s all that matters.” He shrugged and ruffled Ryeowook’s hair.

“Yeah, I had fun,” he replied softly, smiling, “you were really nice about it, I think at least.”

“Hell yeah I was,” YoungSaeng shot back, huffing teasingly, “do you know how much willpower that took, especially _drunk?_ ” He stuck his tongue out. “Man, you had it easy Wookie. I know some guys who just go hard and fast.”

Ryeowook was quiet for a moment as he let the words sink into his mind. “…what’s that like?”

The third year’s amusement vanished. His lips parted wordlessly at first but then he regained his composure, saying, “Did you wanna try it that way or something?”

“A-Are we allowed to?” Ryeowook’s eyes grew in confusion.

YoungSaeng cocked an eyebrow, slanting forward. “Who says we can’t?” He pecked Ryeowook’s lips, feeling the smaller boy give in easily to the advances. “I just didn’t think you wanted to pursue this.”

“I don’t mind,” the red head replied, softly nibbling at his senior’s throat, “it clears my head faster than drinking did.”

“If that’s what you want then.” He reached for Ryeowook’s pants when there was a loud banging at the door.

Ryeowook frowned but backed off the bed and checked to see who had disturbed them. On the other side of the threshold was Sungmin. “W-What are you doing here?” Ryeowook stammered, heart rate increasing at the sight of the dark haired boy.

“We need to talk Ryeowook.” His voice was stern, immovable.

“About what?” he whispered.

Sungmin wrapped his hand around the other one’s wrist, pulling him out the door. “Everything.”

 

Kyuhyun passed the soccer ball to Donghae, watching as the spherical object blew past the latter’s face. “Why are you blanking out?” Kyuhyun called, crossing his arms and glaring at the confused boy.

Donghae shook his head apologetically and ran off to grab the soccer ball. He reached it and clumsily kicked it back towards the annoyed black haired boy. The moment it reached Kyuhyun, he picked it up and walked towards Donghae. “What?” the latter asked, blinking in surprise by the confrontational look being issued to him.

“I come here to clear my head. If you aren’t doing the same thing then get out of my face,” Kyuhyun stated unwaveringly.

“No…but just…a lot happened to me today. That’s all,” Donghae sighed, looking around uncomfortably, “I’m a little stressed.”

“Well don’t drag it to the practice fields,” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, patting his friend’s shoulder to steer him off the grass and back onto the path towards the main square. “If you need to talk, we can talk man.”

Donghae slowly turned to the younger boy. “Really? I thought you wouldn’t care…”

“I guess I’m feeling generous,” Kyuhyun smirked, tossing the soccer ball into the public equipment bin at the edge of the field. And really, he was feeling more gracious than usual. As for why, he had no idea. For some unknown reason Kyuhyun wanted to be out of the light for a while. His own life was shit. This was the only way to escape it – by butting into someone else’s affairs. What did it feel like to take the “best friend” role?

They walked through the campus sluggishly, the majority of students in their rooms scrambling to finish homework they had put off during Spring Break. Others were disappearing into the Dining Hall or heading to club meetings. The sun was setting over the dark trees, dying everything a rich burnt orange.

This had always been Kyuhyun’s favorite time of day. For many reasons…but those could be discussed another time.

“Well, do you know a boy named Kibum? He’s one year younger than us,” Donghae asked timidly, voice soft.

“Unless he’s on the Math Team, I wouldn’t know him,” Kyuhyun replied, glancing at his friend, “…or well, you’re an exception. Otherwise I pretty much don’t know anyone.”

“You should really work on that Kyu,” the chestnut haired boy mumbled, shaking his head to refocus, “anyway, Kibum is this really quiet boy who likes to study and stay indoors. We met last year and it took a while but I got him to talk to me and befriend me too.” Donghae looked down, eyes twinkling, “I was going to try and a-ask him out,” at this point his face was nearly the same color as the sunset – just slightly more red than orange, “but when I went today…I-I saw him kissing the StudGov President, y’know that really tall, muscular guy Siwon? And so I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Kyuhyun took a deep breath, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for snapping at Donghae earlier. He wouldn’t have done so had he known the kid was stressing so much. “You like this Kibum kid a lot right?”

“So much,” Donghae breathed, jaw clenching in consternation.

“Then you should fight for him,” Kyuhyun remarked, looking around the sleepy outdoors, “high school relationships never last so you still have a chance.”

“You want me to break them up?” the innocent boy’s eyes were wide in shock.

Kyuhyun peered at his friend. “You’re not breaking them up. You’re getting the person you want to be with. That’s the important part isn’t it?”

“It’s sort of heartless too.”

“Ah, not heartless,” Kyuhyun corrected, “isn’t it the exact opposite?”

 

Sungmin lost his grip on Ryeowook’s wrist, feeling the latter trying to run away. He swiveled around catching the smaller boy again and pushing him back against a building wall. There was no one around at that hour as students were travelling to dinner or studying for the first day back from break.

“Why are you running away?!” Sungmin shouted, voice breaking as he pinned Ryeowook back.

“Why are you being so mean?!” Ryeowook cried, eyes shaking, hands wriggling.

Sungmin sighed, biting down on his lip and controlling his voice. “We’re friends Wookie. Why have you been lying to all of us this whole time?” He tightened his hold around the struggling one’s arms, “If you were hurting so much why didn’t you tell me…? I’ve always been there Ryeowook--”

“ _Always?_ ” Ryeowook interrupted with more ice in his voice than Sungmin had known existed. “If you were always there then why have I been drowning since the day I was released from the infirmary? Where were you when I was drinking all night and hoping that someone would come and save me?!” Tears were spilling down his face now, head bowing.

Sungmin’s lips parted but he couldn’t speak. Every accusation felt like a fresh knife piercing through skin and muscle.

But the boy wasn’t done yet.

He pushed at Sungmin’s steely hold. “Why are you only confronting me _now?!_ …Why couldn’t you see through everything a month ago? Why couldn’t you help me Minnie…?” Ryeowook was sobbing then and Sungmin released him, pulling him into a clumsy hug. Hot liquid seared the shirt’s fabric, small, trembling fingers wrinkling it.

“I’m sorry Wookie…,” he whispered, tightening the embrace.

Ryeowook cried harder, fingers digger further into Sungmin’s shirt. “You…y-you were _so busy with Minho…_ y-you couldn’t even see me anymore…you left me just like Kyuhyun did. You left me without ever leaving me…!”

There was another accusation he couldn’t defend himself against. He _had_ been busy with Minho – so much he didn’t even notice his supposed best friend’s physical decline. Hugging Ryeowook then, Sungmin could feel the boy’s ribs and his miniscule frame… How many meals had he skipped in the past few months? How had no one noticed the thinning face and the dark circles and…everything?

“I’m sorry Ryeowook…I’m so sorry,” Sungmin rubbed his friend’s slender backside, nuzzling his head into the boy’s neck.

Ryeowook sniffled, letting go of the other one’s shirt to wrap his arms around waist. “Jerk…,” he mumbled, “you’re a jerk…”

“Sorry…,” he gently kissed Ryeowook’s collar, “sorry for being a jerk…”

“I’m not mad, Minnie,” he sighed shakily, feeling guilty for taking all of his anger out on Sungmin, “I…I shouldn’t be expecting so much of you…”

“No…I mean…we’re friends…I should’ve seen how hurt you were without you telling me. I wasn’t even watching out for you. We’re supposed to be looking out for one another,” Sungmin smiled sadly.

Ryeowook nodded quietly, stepping slightly back. “But…it’s still too late.” He wiped his eyes, beginning to turn away from Sungmin.

“It’s not too late!” He snatched Ryeowook’s arm, spinning him around. “Don’t give up on us, Wookie…,” his voice was strained, sincere, “I’ll save you Ryeowook. I’ll save you.”

“No,” he whispered, slipping out of the other boy’s grip, “I don’t want that anymore. I want to have fun…you can have fun with me Minnie,” Ryeowook cracked a smile, “…but I don’t think you will. So…just forget about it. I’m better. I’ll be okay.”

“You’re not!” Sungmin shook his head, watching Ryeowook walk away. _But I’ll be there from now on…I will._

 


	22. Chapter 22

“I thought you were mad at me.” Minho eyed the smaller boy standing opposite him. The dorm room was quiet and empty, Taemin probably out and about with Mir.

Sungmin shrugged. “I’m here because I need to know why you didn’t tell anyone even though you knew Ryeowook got drunk once.”

Oh shit. Minho stepped away from the door, indicating that Sungmin should come inside. After the black haired boy crossed, the door shut with a soft click. “He lied and I believed him,” he explained, arms crossed, “it was stupid, but I mean, he just never lied before so I didn’t even think it was a possibility.”

“He told you not to tell anyone or what?” Sungmin asked, idly tapping and touching different things around the barren room. A spring breeze rolled through the open window, letting in the dark night.

Minho shrugged, not feeling right about saying it. It was bad enough that he pissed off and pushed Sungmin away. Telling the kid that he had gone to that long ago party to hook up wouldn’t help their relationship. “He said it was a onetime thing and I didn’t want to get him in trouble with anyone. If I had known it was all a lie then I would’ve told you.”

“Fine, whatever,” Sungmin sighed, “I would’ve believed him too.” A groan burst from his lips and he collapsed onto a chair, shaking head back and forth. He hadn’t meant to come and rant to Minho – well, sort of.

After all of the things that had happened the previous year, Minho had become an integral part of their group. Not only was he the one with Ryeowook during the gambling incident, it felt like he was the only one who ever saw Ryeowook in a broken state. Even though there were so many others who should’ve been in Minho’s shoes during those times…

“Did something new happen?” Minho asked, scooting slightly closer.

“…Why didn’t any of us notice?”

Minho didn’t answer.

Sungmin looked up, eyes aged and dull. “I say he’s my best friend, so how could I not notice the obvious changes? And you…he trusts you and shows you so much of himself he’s never shown any of us…why didn’t you notice either?” His fingers curled into fists. “What the hell have we been doing while he was so _hurt_?”

 _I was falling in love with you…and you were…_ Minho shook the thought away. “I have no excuse and I guess you don’t either. As for Mir, he was getting played by Taemin.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that going?” Sungmin mumbled absently, stalling for time to gather his scattered worries into concise streams of thought.

“They’re still having sex so…,” Minho shrugged, not wanting to get any more involved with _that_ relationship. It was messy and sad on so many levels. The situation was beyond fuck buddies. Mir was probably in love with Taemin and Taemin…he just wasn’t someone anyone should fall in love with – especially a person as innocent and awkward as Mir.

Sungmin nodded. “Do you think I was stupid? …Y’know, for not seeing something so clear? I…I did exactly the same thing as Kyuhyun. He led Ryeowook on, only to end up breaking his heart.” His eyes flitted over Minho’s face, a strange expression morphing his features. “I was doing the same thing wasn’t I? When Ryeowook needed me I wasn’t even looking at him; I pretended to care and look at what happened.”

“If you’re being that hard on yourself, then I should be fucking slamming my head against a wall,” Minho scoffed, crouching down before Sungmin and carefully taking his hands. “At least you didn’t keep it a secret that he was partying and drinking. If I had told someone about what I saw, I bet we could’ve helped him sooner.”

“Sooner?” Sungmin repeated, unable to reject the warmth radiating from Minho’s hand.

“You didn’t come here for comfort right?” the tall boy rolled his eyes, “We’re going to get him back. We’ll fix this, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sungmin grunted, trying to stifle the relieved tears daring to spill from his eyes, “we’ll fix this…” His phone rang then, signaling a text message.

He opened it, reading over the lines quickly.

**Mir says: We’re having a short meeting tonight about the Summer Play so come by soon.**

“Oh, I have to go,” Sungmin muttered, flushing at the abrupt end to their conversation.

Minho helped the boy to his feet and ushered him towards the door. “It’s fine. Taemin will probably be back soon anyway.” He watched Sungmin leave the room but then he couldn’t hold it in anymore. The feelings were boiling in Minho’s chest and throat, daring to burst from him if he refused to say anything at that moment.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he opened his mouth and called out, “Sungmin!”

The boy in question paused, turning around curiously. “What?”

Minho swallowed before saying with supreme effort, “Sorry…about last time…with the Taemin thing.”

A casual grin touched Sungmin’s lips as he laughed and shrugged. “I should’ve knocked anyway. The only one who should be getting comfort for that incident is Mir.” He waved goodbye to Minho and disappeared around a corner.

Minho released his withheld breath, slumping against the door frame. _I do need to say sorry…or else you’ll really stop thinking about falling for me…_

Mir gazed up at the boy hovering over him. It really wasn’t a horrible situation. Rather…why did these things have to happen to him?

All Mir had wanted to do was grab that last can of soda from the top of the fridge. But somehow everything started spinning and going white and finally strong arms were catching him – but not really. Both of them had ended up tumbling to the ground.

So that’s how they got there, with Dongwoon lying over Mir…in the dark…alone.

“Clumsy…,” Dongwoon breathed, hair tousled from the whirlwind split second.

“S-Sorry,” Mir muttered, looking around uncomfortably. He didn’t want to focus on the sweetly scented puffs of air grazing his neck or the feeling of their tangled legs brushing and rubbing. To call it a sensual situation would be an overstatement; to call it totally innocent one would be an understatement.

Dongwoon backed up, helping Mir into a sitting position. “Are you feeling better?”

A blush crept up the awkward boy’s face. “Yeah I a-am,” he answered, feeling embarrassed about what had passed between then two days prior. Mir still couldn’t believe he went to _him_ of all people for comfort. It was…risky.

But hey – Mir clenched his fists – there was nothing between him and Taemin right? Sadness overtook the boy’s mind and heart. There was nothing between them but he _wanted_ something to be between them.

“Want me to comfort you again?” Dongwoon inquired slyly, caressing Mir’s face.

“N-No!” Mir stuttered, scrambling away – utterly forgetting his soda. “I have someone I like.”

“Oh? Well, is it the same person who made you cry?” He was standing then, approaching the nervous wreck of a boy.

Before Mir was forced to answer though, the Tech Shop door opened and the freshmen were hustling inside, chattering happily. Mir felt his heart swell in relief and he bolted towards the exit. “I have to go now!” he called back, practically tearing the door down in his haste.

Dongwoon grinned before heading over to the freshmen for a meeting.

 

Mir raced through the campus, rounding a corner only to ram into someone on the other side. “Oh sorry!” he apologized, looking at the fallen boy.

“It’s okay…”

“R-Ryeowook?” Mir’s brow furrowed at the sight of his friend.

The redhead’s eyes fluttered in surprise as he brushed dirt off his pants. “Hi Mir,” he greeted, smiling a bit, “why are you in such a rush?”

He suppressed a blush. As if suddenly remembering, Mir reached into his back pocket, producing a single sheet of paper. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to do the summer play…but if you did, we could always use the help.” Mir unfolded the paper, showing Ryeowook the calendar.

Ryeowook hesitated but then he took the paper, confusion dancing in his large eyes. “T-Thanks….”

“No problem,” Mir answered, touching Ryeowook’s shoulder before walking off towards the dorm buildings, “…I miss seeing you around club. So come back…or something.”

A part of Ryeowook wanted to throw the paper away…but a bigger part had formed. Perhaps it was because of Mir’s words. Perhaps it was because he really just felt like going back to Tech Club.

Whatever it was, it worked.

Quietly, he folded the paper, tucked it into his pocket and continued down the street towards Dorm 3.

 


	23. Special: Eunhyuk/Zhoumi

Kangin sat on top of the freshly cleaned bar, watching as darkly clothed movers assembled and positioned black circular booths around the perimeter of the underground area. Their shoes scuffed the cold concrete, bringing in dirt and slush from the forest.

A warm object pressed against Kangin’s cheek, jolting the boy out of his thoughts. Annoyance entered his eyes as he took the hot drink from Eunhyuk. “Was that necessary?” Kangin huffed, holding the cup with both hands.

“You didn’t have to do this you know,” Eunhyuk mumbled, sipping the hot cocoa and swinging his dangling legs.

Kangin watched as another stylish booth was completed and bolted into the floor. The whole process was so…real. What the hell had he gotten himself into? That’s what he had been muddling over since construction began some days ago. Why in fucking hell had Kangin been so _stupid_ and decided to take the offer? There was nothing good about it for him. He didn’t even like people all that much! How was he going to run a teen club, of all things?

“It’s a little late, don’t you think?” Kangin replied.

Eunhyuk sighed. “You were too rash that night.”

“Shut up, monkey-face,” he snapped, using all his willpower to not squeeze the drink, “I know already so stop talking about it.” Kangin brought the cup’s edge to his lips, taking a quick swig without care for heat. Rich, searing liquid burned his tongue. The boy winced and set the drink down – a precaution to prevent more careless sips.

“…Did Teukie upset you that much?” Eunhyuk prompted, apparently unable to shut up.

Kangin leaned back on the counter, closing his eyes. “No it wasn’t that. Just…he doesn’t know how to rely on people. He thinks that since it’s all about him, no one else is affected. The kid is so wrong though.” He shook his head, glaring at a pair of movers bringing in the last of the booths. “I was mad that he made a decision without telling anyone. So I wanted to get even and apparently that was a stupid decision.”

“You can say that again,” the other boy snorted.

“Would you…,” Kangin cut himself off, already too tired to argue with his friend. “Just…do you get what I’m saying?”

Eunhyuk nodded slowly, “You don’t like that he pushed you away?”

“Obviously.”

“Well from what I’ve gathered it’s not surprising that Teukie would do something like that.” Eunhyuk glanced at Kangin, trying to gauge his reaction to the statement.

The latter frowned, straightening and shifting to more fully stare at Eunhyuk. “What?”

“Well, you said that Teukie used to do some crazy shit right?” He waited for confirmation and once he received it, Eunhyuk went on, “people like that aren’t consistent. They snap and get emotional randomly. After all, how else could you explain Badass Teukie to Squeaky-Clean Teukie?”

“But…,” Kangin chewed his lower lip, “we got so far. He told me about his past…sort of, and I swear to the fucking gods that we were getting closer.”

“Then I guess you gotta find out what happened during the time he disappeared, huh?”

“ _He won’t tell me!_ ” Kangin hissed, feeling exhausted, “That’s the whole point! If he won’t tell me then I’ll never know. That’s the bottom line.”

Eunhyuk rubbed his forehead. “This is aggravating.”

“No shit.” Kangin hopped off the bar counter and slipped on a long black coat. He buttoned it up and popped the high collar in hopes of keeping his neck warm. “I’m gonna head home for the day.” Kangin grunted, leaving behind his friend and the drink that burned him.

“Oh…okay,” Eunhyuk mumbled to the air. He stayed sitting there, watching the workers finish for the day, pack up and start heading towards the door. There was no real reason that he stayed for so long, it just didn’t feel right to head out.

He needed a reality check. He needed to know that what was happening was real. It certainly didn’t _feel_ real. Had he really decided to sign a contract with Moon Hee-Joon as well? Why the fuck had he put his name next to Kangin’s? Was it brotherly love?

Ah shit. It was brotherly love.

Eunhyuk finished his drink as the final mover left the vicinity. Then he was alone with the half finished club, an empty cup of hot cocoa, and a strange bubbly feeling in the pit of his stomach – anticipation. As for what, who could say? There were so many choices. Too many choices.

“H-Hello…?”

His groaned tiredly. Company was the last thing he wanted. “Who is it?” Eunhyuk called, looking at the person standing on the staircase across the dance floor from him.

If that cup hadn’t been empty then Eunhyuk would’ve been a whole hot mess just then.

The young boy looked around the club uncertainly, a pair of glasses on his nose and a small stack of books in his long, slim arms. Soft black hair littered with snow danced around his sharp, thin features and though all of that was true, his eyes were so kind – so gentle. “Uhm, I saw some people moving in and out so I was wondering what was going on. Is something happening way out here?” he fumbled for words, shifting on his feet.

Eunhyuk shook himself out of the daze, refocusing on the boy for a second time. “No…well, something is happening but it’s still in progress so don’t tell anyone okay?” He grinned and winked, straightening his posture so as to lean forward – closer.

“Ah, okay!” the boy laughed sweetly, purely.

It was breathtaking. Simply breathtaking.

“What’s your name?” Eunhyuk asked, smiling as he drowned in the situation.

“I’m Zhoumi,” the boy replied quickly, face flushed and bright, “I’m going to be a freshman this coming year.”

“Ah…I see. I’m Eunhyuk, a second year this coming term.” And just like that, their worlds were aligning just like their stances. The thin stream of light flowed between them, straight band unbreakable and illuminating the dark.

 


	24. Chapter 24

“Okay kiddies, _this_ is our summer play,” Dongwoon announced, pointing to a dreamscape poster. In curvaceous gold letters were the words: A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Beneath it were black silhouette figures moving through the shadows of blurred forestry. “The performance will be sometime in mid-June so we have to start building the set.”

“Isn’t it only April 14th?” a particularly small freshman asked.

The Tech President smiled and lowered the poster. “Well there are important components to the set this time, so we’re starting earlier.”

“Isn’t it just because we don’t have anything else to do and we’ve blown all of our party funds already?” Sungmin muttered to Mir, earning a small grin from the latter.

“As upperclassmen you two need to be quiet,” Dongwoon retorted easily, shooting them a terrifyingly pleasant smile, “especially you Mir. I wouldn’t want to keep you after now would I?”

Mir shook his head quickly, blushing and sinking further into his seat.

“So—” Dongwoon stopped at the sound of the Tech Shop’s door opening. He turned his head to see a slender figure walking towards them. The boy’s face was angular and small, large eyes peering around, nostalgia evident.

Sungmin slowly rose to his feet, unable to believe who was walking towards them. His lips parted in silent question as Mir stood up next to him, saying, “Oh Ryeowook, you’re here.”

The one in question nodded and walked over to Dongwoon, lowering his head respectfully. “Ah…sorry for not contacting you. My name is Kim Ryeowook. I…I’m going to help with the summer play if that’s okay.”

Dongwoon’s eyes fluttered his surprise. “That’s fine. We can use the help, Ryeowook. It’s nice to see you here,” he patted the boy’s shoulder before pointing towards one of the empty standing or sitting spaces in the Tech Shop’s lounging area.

There was no time to settle though as Sungmin threw his arms around Ryeowook’s neck, quietly and incoherently muttering into his friend’s shoulder. “You’re back,” Sungmin managed softly, squeezing the other boy tightly.

“Sorry I didn’t come to club,” Ryeowook whispered, patting the other one’s back. He glanced at Mir and smiled a bit.

Being the outwardly cool guy he was, Mir just tilted his head, offered a half smile and took a seat back on the couch.

There were so many things Sungmin wanted to say but he found himself cut off by Dongwoon’s voice.

The bastard.

“Alright, well as I said before we’re performing A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” the president stated, clearing his throat in hopes of breaking up the love scene before him. At least he had the decency to feel up the one he liked in semi-privacy. “We’re going to start cutting the pieces today and assembling tomorrow so everyone grab safety supplies and I’ll bring out the materials.”

“Do you need any help with the patterns?” Mir blurted, immediately shutting his mouth.

Dongwoon hid a smirk and shook his head. “I spent last night marking everything so today we’re just cutting and sanding. But thank you for the offer Mir. It makes me happy to know you care so much.”

“I-I don’t,” he mumbled, looking away.

Ryeowook fidgeted on the couch, seeming to be on edge. Sungmin noticed – having promised himself not to be negligent anymore – and touched his friend’s arm. “What’s wrong?” he mouthed worriedly.

“Nothing,” Ryeowook answered, smiling reassuringly.

For a moment, Sungmin almost let it go but then he stopped and gripped the arm tighter. “No, tell me later,” he stated earnestly, staring hard at Ryeowook.

The latter hesitated but then sighed and nodded slowly.

“We’re going to start working so hurry up and get up. Half of you will go out onto the stage and clear space while the other half will be in here with me working on cutting.” Dongwoon waved in the trio’s general direction, saying, “Mir will take four or so people and clear the stage. The rest of you come this way.” He started walking off, clipboard tucked securely under arm.

“Ah, okay, Sungmin, Ryeowook, and you, come with me,” Mir stated, standing and striding towards the linking walkway.

The scrawny freshman from earlier hurried after his hyung, followed rather sluggishly by Sungmin and Ryeowook. Their fingers were laced, shoulders brushing. Ryeowook ignored the pounding of his heart, not wanting to think about the sweet person holding onto him.

“Will you tell me now?” Sungmin prompted.

 Ryeowook jumped, eyes darting to the other. “A-Ah, what?”

“Why are you fidgeting?”

 “Oh…,” he was about to answer when Mir’s voice complained about needing help moving something. Ryeowook sighed in relief, letting go of Sungmin and hurrying to help pick up the large object.

“Weird…,” the black haired boy murmured to himself, walking over to join the struggling team of three.

 

They were all cleaning up after the end of the meeting, putting away supplies and properly shutting off power tools. Ryeowook had successfully avoided speaking to Sungmin about his nervousness – much to the latter’s dismay.

While finding things to distract him, Ryeowook had learned quite a few things about what had been going on. It was sort of sad to know his friends were living life during his absence…but still, it was good to know all of them were finding their own paths and stories and mistakes. That alone, made Ryeowook feel like less of a jerk.

“So…”

Ryeowook whirled around, seeing Sungmin standing there with arms crossed and eyes flashing. “H-Hey, Minnie,” he stammered, backing up and eyeing the exit.

“We need to talk.”

His heart dropped at the words. Why did they always have to talk? Yes, he knew the answer but…was it so unreasonable that he didn’t want to talk about it? “Uh, I can’t right now,” Ryeowook mumbled, “I have to go right now.”

“Where?” Sungmin demanded.

“A date.” Both boys spun, eyes widening at the voice speaking. YoungSaeng stood in the doorway of the Tech Shop, eyes half-lidded in boredom. His body leaned against the door frame casually, one hand hooked in his front pocket.

“YoungSaeng,” Ryeowook greeted, smiling happily and walking over to the older boy. The latter stepped away from the threshold, catching the smaller one around his slender waist. “We went overtime because Mir fell on one of the set pieces.”

“That sounds painful,” YoungSaeng remarked before kissing Ryeowook’s lips.

Sungmin felt his body freeze. “What’s…going on…?” he asked quietly, eyes narrowed in confusion. “I thought…well I thought you were back…y’know, with us…?”

A small, puzzled smile crossed Ryeowook’s face. “I thought I was back Minnie…I wanted to work the summer play so I’m back.”

“No I meant…” It suddenly dawned on him though. Sungmin’s eyes widened and he covered his mouth, embarrassed and a little more than upset. “You’re just back for club stuff aren’t you?” _You’re still drinking and hanging out with those guys…_

YoungSaeng tugged Ryeowook by his waist. “Hey let’s go,” the third year murmured near the red head’s ear, “The guys just got snagged something good.”

“Sounds just right,” Ryeowook replied, grinning and leaning close to the taller boy. He glanced over his shoulder at Sungmin. “I’ll see you tomorrow okay Minnie?”

“Y-Yeah…sure…!”

The pair vanished, heavy thud of the door resonating around Sungmin. He took a deep breath, clenching his fists and grinding his teeth. It wasn’t supposed to work like that…

Thunder roared through the building’s layers, shocking Sungmin from his anger. The natural fury continued on, as if hoping to triumph over the boy’s frustration. He gazed up at the dark, distant roof, wondering just how close the thunder was.

The tip of an umbrella tapped Sungmin’s shoulder. Dongwoon came up from behind the boy, handing him the plastic shield. “The weather channel said a hurricane is coming,” he remarked mildly, eyes focused on a spot of air, “and today is just the beginning. Don’t get soaked.” Then he was walking towards the door where rain poured down in thick sheets. The umbrella opened and he hurried out, black door slamming behind him.

Sungmin glanced down at the borrowed umbrella. “Thanks…,” he muttered, heading off into the rain.

***

Kyuhyun peered outside, eyeing the downpour warily. “I really don’t think you should go to KUG tonight,” he said, turning around to look at his lover.

“If I could stay here I would,” Zhoumi sighed, straightening his clothes and starting to put on shoes, “but Key is going to kill me if I don’t come tonight and finish off the week’s reports.”

“You make it sound like it’s an actual job,” he remarked softly, rolling his eyes and turning back to the book in his hand.

Zhoumi glared, annoyed at the other boy. “Well I’m sorry that I don’t have an actual job but it’s still my responsibility. I’m not going to half-ass it.”

“I’m not telling you to half-ass it, Zhoumi,” Kyuhyun snapped, wondering why the hell he couldn’t focus on the pocket math book he was reading, “…I’m just saying that I’d prefer you don’t go out in such bad weather. They say a hurricane is coming after all.”

The third year’s eyes trailed towards the window, seeing the rain letting up just a bit. “Well it’s not raining too badly. I’ll be fine.”

“…Can’t you do the accounting stuff another day?” Kyuhyun argued, apparently unable to give up on his idea. “Will Key even notice if you’re there tonight? No one is going out in this weather to party.”

“KUG is closed until the weather warning is shut down. The only ones there are going to be me, Key and Eunhyuk. And I’m going to be fine. Why can’t you trust me Kyuhyun?” Zhoumi stood up, turning around to give his boyfriend a look.

Kyuhyun propped himself up on one elbow, setting the book down to meet the standing one’s gaze. “Look, I already told you I don’t like knowing you’re going to be out there! Why are you being so stupid?”

“ _I’m_ stupid?” Zhoumi spat. “Do you even _hear yourself?!_ Are you moronic enough to think I’m going out into that weather? There are other ways to get into KUG! I’m part of the staff Kyuhyun! Going through a muddy forest isn’t the only way to get there!”

“Then why didn’t you say so from the beginning?” he cried, groaning in aggravation and laying back down on the mattress. “Why the hell did you have to be so coy? Just tell me from the start! We could’ve saved time.”

Zhoumi ran a hand through his hair. “ _Because_ , I figured my own boyfriend wouldn’t think I was fucking stupid enough to go out in such bad weather. That’s why.”

“Whatever, just go already,” Kyuhyun grunted, rolling over and continuing to read his book. Of course at that point he couldn’t even recall half of what he had read and the page in front of him was becoming more and more irritating as he had to reread it.

With one last look, Zhoumi stormed out of the room, throwing the door open and almost knocking Donghae over in the process. The third year didn’t even bother to look at the shocked boy though, he just stomped down the hall, arms swinging and long legs speeding.

Kyuhyun chucked his book at the wall, eyes shutting tightly as he dropped onto his backside.

“Big fight?” Donghae guessed carefully.

“…Why are you here?” Kyuhyun mumbled, opening his eyes and glaring at the ceiling.

“Well I wanted to tell you about the current situation with Kibum…”

“What is it?” So long as he didn’t have to talk about his own romantic problems he didn’t mind the company. Besides, Donghae was so obsessed with Kibum it was easy to make the guy blabber on and on for hours without any concern for the listener – usually Kyuhyun.

The chestnut haired boy smiled sheepishly and sat down in one of the wooden desk chairs. “I did what you told me to do. I fought for him.”

“And?”

“We ended up kissing.”

Kyuhyun smirked, his spirits already lifting. He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and looking at a blushing Donghae. “Why aren’t you jumping for joy then?”

A heavy sigh escaped the latter’s lips. “Because right after it happened he pushed me away and ran. I tried to chase after him but I tripped and fell.”

“What would you have said anyway?” Kyuhyun scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well I would’ve told him how much I like him.”

“Wait, if you didn’t tell him that from the beginning then what did you tell him before you kissed him?” A crease formed between Kyuhyun’s eyebrows, head tilting to one side.

Donghae blushed, fiddling with his fingers. “I just said that I didn’t think him and Siwon fit—”

“—I said fight for him, not tell him why his boyfriend sucks!” the boy dropped head in hand, shoulders slumping forward. “Why didn’t you wait for me to help you make a plan?”

“I got impatient!” Donghae defended, “And you’ve been busy lately so I didn’t want to bother you about something so small.”

“What if this cost you your friendship with Kibum?” Kyuhyun remarked.

The other one’s face dropped in horror.

“Relax,” he stifled another sigh, “it’s not too late. Just go apologize to Kibum and tell him that you were frustrated and venting your anger on him because you got in a fight with your boyfriend. He just happened to be a convenient outlet.”

Donghae frowned, eyes saddening at the mere thought of doing that. “But I don’t want to hurt his feelings—”

“—You’re not hurting his feelings,” Kyuhyun explained patiently, “you’re giving him a reason for your rash behavior. You can’t tell him right off the bat that you love him. If you do that, he’ll just reject you with the excuse that you’re the boy who forced a kiss on him and that he cares about his boyfriend.”

“…Are you sure?” the handsome boy asked uncertainly, “I don’t think Kibum is like that…”

“It’s okay. Just trust me. If this doesn’t work, then you can beat me up or do something,” Kyuhyun waved his hand nonchalantly.

Donghae bit his lip but then nodded. “Okay, I trust you.”

***

Zhoumi shoved the basement door open, his hair and clothes slightly soaked from the rain his umbrella couldn’t protect him from. The main administration building on campus was just across from his dorm so really he _hadn’t_ walked through the rain.

The light was on in the storage area and Zhoumi walked around a high tower of paper and boxes. Around the bend was a carved out, well-lit stone tunnel. He walked towards it, half jogging through the chilly underground passage. It was a secret entryway into KUG – a special access point for staff only.

As strange as it was, the tunnel was used to deliver order forms and documents to the school’s director, Moon Hee-Jun. Zhoumi still remembered how shocking it was when he learned that KUG was created by the head of the academy, though it did explain a number of things – such as the high class facility and steady supply of food and beverages.

Zhoumi reached the end, unlocking the wooden door and pulling it open to reveal the hallway in KUG. There was no one inside the club – as expected. He let out a small breath, somewhat happy that there was no one to piss him off immediately.

“You’re finally here?” And that ship sailed. Key opened the door to his office, waving a stack of papers impatiently. “Get your ass in here Zhoumi! I want to get home already. It’s fucking late.”

“Cool your jets kid, he’s coming.”

Zhoumi’s heart skipped a beat at the voice. A smile lit his face as he hurried over to the blonde University student standing next to a fuming Key. “Eunhyuk!” he called, wrapping his arms around the older one’s neck and hugging him close.

“What’s up?” Eunhyuk laughed, patting the boy’s back and leading him into the office before Key could rip their faces off.

“I’ll tell you later,” Zhoumi muttered, releasing the blonde and trudging over to take half of Key’s workload.

The trio worked in silence for a while, speeding through the forms and reports. Zhoumi had gotten stuck with the reports – a much harder task than scribbling down the number of foods and drinks needed for the following week.

 

Half an hour passed and Key stood, stretching and smirking. “I’m done~!” he yawned happily, stapling the order forms before heading towards the door. “Could you go finish your reports in your own office? I’m not planning on coming back and I don’t want to find you in here tomorrow.” Key rolled his eyes, nose wrinkling.

Zhoumi felt his mouth twitch in agitation. “Fine.” He got up, taking the stack of papers and pushing past Key towards the hallway. “Bye.”

“Yeah, okay,” the smaller boy rolled his eyes, steadfastly walking towards the tunnel exit.

Eunhyuk waited for the wooden door to slam shut before shutting and locking the door to Zhoumi’s office. The latter looked up, raising a confused eyebrow. “Just in case he decides to come back and bitch some more,” Eunhyuk explained, grinning and walking around to perch on Zhoumi’s desk. “So how are those reports going?”

“Shitty,” he replied, signing off another one and moving on, “I swear I’m going to really be here all night.”

Eunhyuk frowned and took part of the stack, surprising his underclassman. “It’s cool. I’ve been filling this stuff out for years, I know how to BS most of it. Besides, I know you want to get home to Kyuhyun.” He offered an understanding smile, grabbing a pen from the cup on the edge of Zhoumi’s desk.

“…No…not really.”

The older boy’s head shot up. “Excuse me?”

“We got into a huge fight before I came here,” he explained softly, continuing to write at a now slower pace, “and I don’t think either of us wants to see the other any time soon.”

Eunhyuk wasn’t sure if he should be relishing in the hope blossoming or shoving that hope aside so he could be a good person. How fucking wrong was it to actually be _praying_ for your friend to be unhappy? He had seen how much Kyuhyun meant to Zhoumi…it wasn’t right of Eunhyuk to want them broken up.

“Hey now,” the university student spoke gently, “it’s not like that. I’m sure Kyuhyun wants to talk to you. It’s not like couples fight because they always hate each other. He’s probably just upset with the day or something else.”

Zhoumi shook his head assuredly. His fingers twitched and he stopped writing. “No…ah, I mean, I started the fight. I don’t know why but what he said just made me so mad. Thinking back,” he blushed in the dimly lit office, “I don’t really know why I picked a fight. He was just worried about me.”

“What happened?” _Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me. Don’t fucking tell me._

“Kyuhyun asked me to stay home but I said I had to be here tonight. He just kept arguing that he didn’t want me going out since the storm is so bad tonight but then I accused him of not trusting me…,” Zhoumi looked up at Eunhyuk, eyes sad, “It was just a huge mess.”

Eunhyuk patted the younger boy’s head. “Well he was just worried about you. It would be a good idea to go apologize, you know.” Zhoumi nodded sullenly, cheeks flushing at the lecture he was getting.

They worked quietly for another ten minutes before Eunhyuk broke it.

“So why were you persistent about coming tonight? It wasn’t like Key could even fire you. Actually, if he fired you I bet you would be happy,” the blonde laughed.

Zhoumi had just finished his third report and quite frankly was not in a place to lie or withhold the truth. “I knew you were going to be here.”

The moment those words left his mouth, Zhoumi gasped, eyes growing.

He wasn’t the only one though. Eunhyuk felt like time had stopped, the clock hanging from the wall no longer ticking. A few seconds probably passed but it felt more like hours in that silence. Wasn’t it too much to hope for some romantic affiliation in those words? Eunhyuk glanced at Zhoumi’s expression again. Maybe there was a chance though. Considering the boy’s facial appearance, there was a possibility that he wasn’t thinking friendly thoughts either. “W…hat?” Eunhyuk whispered, setting the papers down and catching Zhoumi’s chin.

The latter lifted his head, swallowing hard. “I…I just meant that I haven’t seen you in a long time,” he stammered.

“You’re lying.” Eunhyuk just didn’t care anymore. He was losing it. He was losing it so bad and there was just no logical reason as to why. Or maybe the logical reason was that he had wasted two years waiting and now a chance had arrived - a second chance.

“I’m not!” Zhoumi cried indignantly, but his eyes were watering then, lips quivering.

The older boy slowly shook his head once. “Do you…like me, Zhoumi?”

His face flushed bright crimson and he struggled to get away. A soft, breathtaking smile curved Eunhyuk’s lips. That single expression was all it took for Zhoumi to forget all of the things that had pissed him off that night. Every thought of Kyuhyun, of Key, of the hurricane left his mind. The only thing occupying his mind was the way Eunhyuk gazed down at him, as if the glass wall separating them had finally cracked and the warmth came flooding out, drowning them.

“Tell me. Do you like me?” he whispered.

Zhoumi gulped, knowing this was probably his one and only chance to speak the truth. There had only been one time Zhoumi ever lied to Eunhyuk. And now this would be the only time Zhoumi ever confessed the truth to Eunhyuk. “I love you…a lot more than I like you.”

Papers, lamps, office supplies and oddities flew out of sight, fluttering in delicate spirals or in clunky, unnoticed piles to the floor. Zhoumi’s chair fell onto its side as Eunhyuk pinned the younger one to the newly emptied wooden desk top and ruthlessly pressed a kiss to those precious, longed-for lips.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Low, uncontrolled moans filled the small space. The sound of sliding sweaty bodies ceased as bed sheets unfurled and ragged breathing began the slow process back to control. Grey light shone through the window, the rain continuing to pound pavement and glass.

“What time is it?” Taemin asked, squinting outside, arms holding his thin frame up. The white bed sheets slipped down around his hips, barely covering where he straddled Mir’s body.

The latter was panting, trying to catch his breath. He reached out one hand, finding a discarded phone near the edge of the bed. With unsteady fingers, Mir unlocked the screen, checking the time. “Almost five…,” his eyes suddenly widened and he jolted upright, practically knocking heads with Taemin. “Oh no, I have to get going!”

The pretty boy pouted, wrapping his arms around Mir’s neck. “I wanted to go for another round…you don’t mind missing club practice right?” he kissed the other boy sweetly, coaxing him into staying.

Mir shoved the pain rippling through his chest. _The only time he wants me around is when he’s getting sex…_ “Sorry,” he mumbled, gently pushing Taemin off and climbing off the bed, “we’re really busy with stuff today…”

“But I wanna fuck you,” Taemin argued, jerking Mir back onto the bed and hovering over him. A smirk blossomed on his delicate features. “Being a little late won’t hurt right? You like me don’t you Mir?”

Mir didn’t answer, not wanting to say anything else that could possibly be used against him.

The other boy didn’t appear to mind though. “If you like me, shouldn’t you want to have me anytime, anywhere? I’m offering myself to you, so how can you just reject me?” He nipped Mir’s throat, sucking and slurping at the same spot. “There, I marked you as mine. Isn’t that enough to show you that I want you around me?”

 _It makes me feel used…_ And even though that thought ran through his mind, why couldn’t he push the boy off and walk away? If someone were to ask Mir exactly what he saw in the horny guy, he wouldn’t be able to say anything. It was just a feeling…an overwhelming clenching in his chest that shut his throat and made it hard to stay focused.

“Well since you’re not saying anything, I’ll take that as a yes,” Taemin chimed, reaching beneath the sheets to take hold of Mir.

 

“Hey, could you move that podium, Ryeowook?” Dongwoon called from the painting area.

Ryeowook nodded, walking over to the glossy wooden stand on wheels. Carefully, he unlocked the brakes and started pushing it towards the place Dongwoon indicated. Afterwards, he relocked the brakes and jogged back to finish painting a panel.

“Just like being a freshman again,” Sungmin murmured, shooting his friend a grin.

“Painting is fun though,” Ryeowook giggled, putting the last touches on a deep green board. It had been a long meeting but he didn’t really care. Working alongside friends was pleasant, nostalgic. Of course this time he was hoping his heart wouldn’t act up and so far it hadn’t. Maybe it was because he was back on a high dosage medication. Ever since Ryeowook took up such heavy drinking, the condition had grown worse but so long as he continued taking medicine regularly then the problem would stay in control.

The clock in the auditorium read 9:30 in the evening just as spine-tingling thunder rocked the building. For a silent second, it felt like the rain had subsided but then it came on stronger and angrier than before.

Dongwoon looked up worriedly. “Hmm…I don’t think that’s a good sign,” he muttered, wiping his hands on a towel and striding into the Tech Shop. He was about to check outside when the black door open and a dripping wet person tumbled inside.

Hastily, he dropped the towel, catching the figure. “What the hell? Why are you here?” Dongwoon demanded, checking the drenched person for any injuries.

“Sorry for being late…,” Mir mumbled, eyes basically closed as he let his entire body weight drop on the other boy, “…sorry…”

“Just shut up,” Dongwoon ordered, dragging Mir into his office and dropping him onto the couch inside. Quickly, he stripped him, tossing the wet garments preciously on the floor and drying the half-conscious teen with a soft towel.

Sungmin and Ryeowook peeked inside the room, puzzled after hearing the rattling noises. “What happened?” the black haired boy gasped, seeing Dongwoon fixing a warm sweater over Mir’s frame and then draping a blanket around him.

“Is Mir okay?” Ryeowook asked, eyes shifting nervously.

Dongwoon let out a held breath and nodded, gently running the back of his hand across Mir’s cheek. “I don’t know what happened but he’s okay I think…probably a cold.” Before either Sungmin or Ryeowook could say anything in response, Dongwoon was turning to them with the orders, “Take the first years up to the second floor. None of us are leaving tonight so get them situated for bed and make sure they aren’t roaming around past eleven.”

They nodded, hurrying out of the room to follow the Tech President’s orders.

 

It took Sungmin and Ryeowook almost an hour to get every single child tucked into a sleeping bag and snoring happily. They exchanged satisfied looks, hanging on one another’s shoulders for support.

Quietly, Ryeowook closed the door, following Sungmin down the hallway. “Did we have that much energy when we first entered high school?” he asked, laughing softly.

“That’s a good question,” Sungmin responded, rubbing his forehead tiredly, “I think there was one kid who was literally doing flips off the walls.”

“Yeah! I saw that one too!” Ryeowook exclaimed in a whisper, eyes sparkling in amusement.

The other boy chuckled, pulling his friend closer. “Hey, do you wanna go somewhere?” He eyed Ryeowook mischievously.

The latter felt adrenaline pumping through his veins. “What did you wanna do Minnie?”

“C’mon!” He took Ryeowook’s hand, leading him down the long stretch of corridor towards a familiar non-descript door. Sungmin broke into a grin when he saw the expression on the red head’s face. “…Let’s go, Wookie~!”

Ryeowook mindlessly followed him into the room, swallowing slightly as he stared up at the metal ladder. It had been far too long since he sat on the Cat Walk. “Ah…” Hesitantly, he ascended the ladder, crawling over the edge and scrambling into the dark, ceiling high area.

Soon after, Sungmin was appearing, smiling widely as he saw Ryeowook waiting for him on the lowered platform. “I thought you would get scared after being away for so long,” Sungmin teased, coming up beside his friend and gazing down at the brightly lit empty auditorium. A short silenced passed before Sungmin turned to Ryeowook, eyes serious. “Do you remember the last time we were here?”

Heat crept up Ryeowook’s neck. “Y-Yeah…I remember,” he smiled down at his pulled-up knees. “It was Phantom of the Opera…you ‘kidnapped’ me and then we watched Yesung-hyung’s performance from up here…and then we kissed,” Ryeowook tilted his head a bit to look at Sungmin, “and you said to me ‘The Phantom…he’s so much more alluring isn’t he?’”

A deep red flush tinted Sungmin’s features as he dropped his head in embarrassment. “I can’t believe you remember that much,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“I remember everything you’ve said to me,” Ryeowook giggled, “but this one especially was important. You’re the first person aside from Kyuhyun that makes me warm with just his words.”

“That Hound made you warm with his words?” Sungmin guffawed.

Ryeowook nodded sincerely, eyes wide and innocent. “Of course, everything he used to say to me made my heart flutter…just like you can do.”

“What about your roommate?” His voice cracked a bit, eyes wandering away from his friend.

“…we’re not dating,” Ryeowook stated, “not really, at least…I think we’re just trying to escape. I mean…you know that I’m not doing these things because of Kyuhyun anymore, right Minnie?” He turned to the dark haired one, waiting for confirmation.

Sungmin carefully nodded, just wanting to know what Ryeowook would say.

“I realized I want to make mistakes,” he sighed, smiling, “I want to make as many mistakes as I can…because I know that I’ll regret never knowing what I am without Kyuhyun. I want to know what I am beyond a weak heart and my relationship with him. There has to be something more.” Ryeowook shrugged, eyes twinkling in a mixture of happiness and excitement, “You’re probably not happy with me and you probably think I’m doing stupid stuff. But just think Sungmin, after all of this…after all of this I’m going to be a better person.”

“…What if you aren’t?” Sungmin murmured, reaching out to take Ryeowook’s hand.

In turn, he squeezed the scared hand. “That’s what friends are for right? When I’m walking a tight rope and I’m about to fall, you’ll be my safety net. You, Mir and Minho,” Ryeowook nodded reassuringly, “I trust you guys…to save me.”

“I thought you said you didn’t need saving. That it was too—” Before Sungmin could finish the thought, Ryeowook’s eyes were widening and he was pointing at something below them.

Sungmin turned his head, jaw slackening at what he saw.

Dongwoon was supporting Mir’s body as their mouths melded into one another center stage. Their friend had tears running down his face as his hands gently held Dongwoon’s shoulders for support.

They broke apart breathlessly. “I want you, Mir,” he said, kissing the boy fleetingly.

Ryeowook grabbed Sungmin’s shoulder urgently, shaking him and pointing as if he needed assurance that it wasn’t a dream. Sungmin could only stare, unable to think of an answer for his friend.

And then they watched Mir lower his head and hug their club president tighter.

 


	26. Chapter 26

_“We advise everyone to stay indoors this evening as the hurricane reaches its peak. Under no circumstances should you be outdoors unprotected…”_

 

“That being the case,” the dorm advisor cleared his throat, switching the television off, “no one is allowed to leave after four p.m. today. If you’d like to go and finish up anything important before then, go ahead. But I’m warning all of you, this hurricane is supposed to one of the worst in years.”

Ryeowook checked the time. _3:20 P.M._ There was still some time… Rapidly, he stood up, grabbing a heavy duty umbrella from a hanger and heading towards the door.

“Where are you headed, Wookie?” YoungSaeng asked, catching his roommate’s shoulder curiously. “The RA sounded pretty serious just now.”

“Well there’s something important I need to do. I’ll be back before four o’clock,” Ryeowook replied, smiling and opening the door. A warm gust of wind rushed at him, nearly knocking the boy over. If it hadn’t been for YoungSaeng catching him, he probably would’ve fallen.

“You _sure_ you’re going to be alright?” the third year prompted uneasily.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” he nodded vigorously, opening the umbrella and pushing onward.

YoungSaeng watched him go, only then wondering if perhaps he should’ve forced the little guy to stay put. But it was too late. If he was going to get into serious shit, well, YoungSaeng couldn’t do anything to help anymore.

There were a few crazy stragglers like Ryeowook roaming the campus, but most of them were rushing back to their dorm buildings. He was almost positive he was the only one trying to get to a different dorm.

After severe fighting, Ryeowook managed to get to Dorm 2. The doors flew open the moment he knocked. A boy yanked him inside, eyes wide and hysterical as he stared at the psycho child walking around in the storm.”What do you think you’re doing?” Dorm 2’s RA hissed, taking Ryeowook’s umbrella from him and shaking it out on a pile of floor towels.

“S-Sorry, I just needed to speak to a friend,” he apologized, nodding and rushing up the stairs before the advisor could scold him.

The events of the previous night wouldn’t leave Ryeowook’s mind. He needed to know why Mir was doing such things with someone when he had Taemin and last time Ryeowook checked, they were pretty happy right? Or at least, Mir was okay with being near Taemin.

Furthermore, had so much really changed in a matter of a few months? Since when did Dongwoon have feelings for Mir? It seemed rather unbelievable considering they were normally so…normal at club. But the way Dongwoon was holding him…wasn’t it too intimate? As if they were used to being together like that?

If that was the case, had Mir been cheating on Taemin the entire time?

Ryeowook exhaled loudly as he rapped on Sungmin’s door. It took a few moments but then the door clicked and his friend came into view. “Minnie!” Ryeowook exclaimed.

“Why are you here?” Sungmin asked, pulling the shorter boy inside.

“If there’s something wrong between Mir and Taemin, shouldn’t we help them?” Ryeowook blurted, hoping that his voiced thoughts made some sense.

Sungmin frowned, puzzled. “Butt-in? That doesn’t sound like something you would do.”

“Taemin…don’t you think Taemin might be hurt if he finds out that Mir is doing something with Dongwoon?” Ryeowook fidgeted eyes saddening.

Flashes of Minho and Taemin together shot through Sungmin’s mind. He bit his lip, not wanting to give Ryeowook a bad impression of Minho. After hearing the way Ryeowook viewed the latter, Sungmin couldn’t bring himself to dirty the image.

“It’s still not our place to mess with that,” Sungmin touched his friend’s arm gently, trying to soothe the obvious panic. “But Wookie…don’t you think you’ve been being rather…straight forward?”

Ryeowook smiled uncomfortably, “I think it’s a side effect of my new medication. More importantly, why don’t you want to help Mir? He certainly likes Taemin so Dongwoon is probably doing something to make him…interested. I’m not sure though. What do you think?”

“What do you mean you’re on new medication?” Sungmin asked sharply.

“H-Huh? Did I say that?” Ryeowook laughed awkwardly, tugging away from the other boy.

Sungmin nodded, jaw twitching. “Why are you on new medication? Is it because you’ve been drinking?”

A dark flush colored Ryeowook’s face. “Why are you asking me like that?” He jerked away from Sungmin, suddenly offended by the accusation. “Minho already told you and everyone what I’ve been up to so why are you asking me like you didn’t know?”

“Because if it’s affecting your heart then you should stop!” Sungmin exclaimed, equally angry at Ryeowook for being so willful. “Shouldn’t you know something so simple Ryeowook?” The words had left his mouth too quickly that there was no time to stop it.

Hurt rushed over Ryeowook’s face and he backed away, betrayal etching his features. “…You sound like Kyuhyun. I knew it…I knew it was stupid to give into the warmth…,” he was muttering under his breath, body shaking. He had been trying. He had really been trying! Ever since Kyuhyun confronted him, Ryeowook had been changing his approach to life.

Somehow he wanted to prove that drowning in liquor wasn’t the only way to escape. He wanted to see if it was possible to reach out to the warmth and still keep his own person. But…it just wasn’t working. Not even a month into the change and Sungmin was taking Kyuhyun’s former role.

Ryeowook grabbed the door handle, pulling it open and running out. The problem had never been Kyuhyun’s personality – not in Ryeowook’s eyes – it had always been the way he approached Ryeowook. All of the overbearing control and concern had been suffocating now that he compared it to the freedom of present day. So…why did everyone who made Ryeowook happy have to treat him like an incompetent child?

What had he done to make Sungmin yell at him as if he were better? Sure, Ryeowook had done plenty of stupid things…but just why?

“No, wait Ryeowook—!” Sungmin reached out but the door was slamming shut. He sighed, slamming his fist into the wall.

He ran back down the stairs, touching ground floor just in time to slam straight into another person. Ryeowook stumbled back, feeling an arm wrap around his waist and pulling him upright. “I’m…,” he looked up at the person only to feel his heart stop – figuratively speaking.

Kyuhyun’s dark eyes were wide, pale skin slightly flushed from the rush of trying to stop Ryeowook from falling. His lips were slightly parted, breaths uneven. “R…—”

He shoved Kyuhyun away, scrambling towards the front door, vision blurred. At first Ryeowook assumed they were tears, since that was always the case, but when he touched his face it was dry. _Why can’t I see straight?_ He shook it off, bursting into the rain without care for an umbrella.

There were voices calling after him but none dared to follow. That was alright though. He didn’t mind. The weather channel had said most people would be safe until the evening and Ryeowook estimated there was still roughly fifteen minutes before four o’clock.

But things never work out that way.

Abruptly, the rain started pouring harder, painfully. Ryeowook lurched, his blurred vision only becoming blurrier with the thickening sheets of water. His body began shuddering, freezing in place in the center of the main square.

 _It hurts…the rain hurts…_ Ryeowook forced energy into his limbs but found it to no avail. Slowly, his knees gave out, eyes clenching shut as a pounding invaded his brain.

“What are you doing?” Strong arms found his waist, pulling him up and dragging him towards the nearest building. Ryeowook smiled at the sound of the voice, his memories taking control of his higher thinking. That had been the voice that dominated his childhood.

There was nothing more soothing than it in the world.

 

Ryeowook gasped, eyes fluttering open. He looked around, still able to hear the distance sound of pouring rain. The space was small and dyed blue grey by the weather. A blanket covered his naked body. “Where…,” he mumbled, blinking away the fatigue. It felt like a car had crushed his skull.

“What were you doing out there during a storm, Ryeowook?” a deep voice demanded. Kyuhyun sat at the other end of the tiny space, hair dripping wet, dark clothes clinging to his body. His fingers were closed in tight fists.

“I…Ah, I don’t really know,” he mumbled, wincing as he tried to remember what had happened in the past day. The boy vaguely recalled leaving his dormitory…

“Doctor Choi told me he prescribed you new medication,” Kyuhyun remarked, “that’s probably why you’re acting weird.”

Ryeowook nodded, pulling the blanket closer around himself.

“…We’re stuck here until the storm passes. None of the dorms will open their doors.”

“Sorry…,” he said softly, knowing full well that meant nothing. Being sorry wouldn’t get them out of the mess they were in. If anything it might drive Kyuhyun to killing him.

The future is really hard to predict sometimes though.

A quiet sigh left Kyuhyun’s lips as he stripped off his soaking shirt and snatched a blanket from one of the shelves in the storage room. “Come here.” He stared at Ryeowook, waiting for him to make a move.

The second Ryeowook scooted closer, Kyuhyun reached out, pulling him into his chest and wrapping a second blanket around both of them. He leaned his head down on top of Ryeowook’s, eyes lowered as he held the smaller boy against him. “I know you’re tired.”

“Aren’t you tired too…?” Ryeowook mumbled.

Kyuhyun nodded against the boy’s soft, damp hair. “I told you I’m not your guardian. I’m sleeping too.”

Perhaps it was the medication, but Ryeowook couldn’t help but be confident that Kyuhyun…

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

Thunder and lightning tore through Ryeowook’s eyelids, sending bright bolts of pain through his slumbering pupils. He winced, whimpering and pressing closer to the warm object he held. Abruptly, his eyes opened and he looked up at the person he was tightly embracing.

A low, annoyed groan ruffled Ryeowook’s hair. Kyuhyun shifted slightly, bringing the smaller boy closer to his bare chest. “Don’t move,” he muttered, eyes still shut.

“Oh, okay…,” Ryeowook stammered, blushing as he tried to piece together what was happening. The last thing he recalled was running out into the storm with something important to tell Sungmin. Or maybe…did he even leave the building? How had he ended up in Kyuhyun’s arms? For a completely non-medical reason, Ryeowook felt a dull pounding in the back of his head.

Kyuhyun slowly let his eyes open, just barely. “Your heart is beating too fast.” He moved away from Ryeowook, gazing down at the boy. Neither of them spoke for a moment but then Kyuhyun looked to the side, his fingers coming up to run softly through Ryeowook’s hair. “Sorry…about saying that I don’t care.” He continued staring at a certain spot of air, pale skin lit up by silent streak of lightning. “If you died…”

“You would be right next to me,” Ryeowook finished quietly, tentatively leaning against the taller boy’s chest, “I still remember…I do…”

“Yeah, I figured,” he mumbled, awkwardly dropping his arm so it rested across the blanket clothing Ryeowook. “…You don’t remember anything, right?”

“No, I…don’t really know what I’m doing here,” Ryeowook confessed, face coloring more.

Kyuhyun nodded, eyes flitting in mixed emotions. “Hey.” His voice announced a change of subject, much to Ryeowook’s pleasure – he had no wish to continue talking about his medication. “Did you really do all of that because of me?”

Thunder made Ryeowook jump and grip Kyuhyun rigidly. The latter staggered a bit, reflexively pulling his companion against his body. Ryeowook took a deep breath, knowing there was no way to escape the situation. They were stranded together until the rain stopped and neither could be sure when that would happen…or if they even wanted it to stop.

Ryeowook refused to look at Kyuhyun, embarrassed and ashamed as he formed an answer. “You know me better than anyone, Kyu...”

“And you know me better than anyone,” he replied without missing a beat, voice soft and serious, “so why would you think I might change my mind?”

“I had nothing else to do,” he cried into Kyuhyun’s skin, fingers pressing into his shoulder. “You walked away without giving me a good explanation and then you…and I…didn’t want to think about you anymore.”

Kyuhyun was quiet for a long time, fingertips brushing over Ryeowook’s red locks. His breaths were even, a distinct difference in comparison to the smaller one’s erratic heartbeats. There was nothing he could do to help Ryeowook. All he could do was wait for the boy to calm down. “…Do you know why I left now? Or do you need me to explain?”

“It took some time,” he whispered, “but I know now.” _Because you needed to know what you are outside of us too…_

“What did you do after that morning?”

Ryeowook didn’t answer.

“Tell me, Ryeowook.”

The command should have aggravated him, but it didn’t. He knew Kyuhyun was like that. He had long since accepted Kyuhyun’s way of speaking. That was just the way it had always been. As Ryeowook let the submissive nature rise to the surface, he thought about the way his lips fell into a frown and the way he felt reluctant to answer and finally – as submission filled the topmost of his mind – a certain relief at being told what to do. Surely it was not him being a masochist; just…he had missed Kyuhyun’s controlling nature, even if at times he was irritated with the possessive tendencies.

“I had sex with someone.”

The words left his mouth before the weight of them could sink into Ryeowook’s hazy thoughts. Had he really just said that? Slowly, the boy’s eyes grew large and his body felt awkward against the one he hugged.

“Who was it?” The voice was icy, outward calm unable to shadow the true emotions.

“…my roommate,” Ryeowook answered as quietly as possible.

Kyuhyun leaned his head down, pushing Ryeowook’s face up. “Stop drinking, Ryeowook,” his gaze was unwavering, dark eyes steadily boring into the other’s wide pupils.

“But…” The shock of Kyuhyun’s actions didn’t last lost as the entourage of commands continued.

“Go back to that Stupid Bunny.”

“But—”

“Don’t sleep with anyone anymore.”

“I won’t—”

“I mean it.” Ryeowook swallowed painfully under the intense fury in Kyuhyun’s gaze. The angry boy took a steadying breath; face mere centimeters from Ryeowook’s. “Don’t have sex. Don’t drink. Stop spending time with dangerous people.”

“They’re not dangerous—”

“—they gave you alcohol Ryeowook!” he hissed. “They don’t give a damn that you have heart problems and they keep on loading you up with booze and sex. Tell me how they aren’t dangerous?!”

“I like them though,” Ryeowook argued, cursing at the vulnerability of his voice. “They don’t treat me like I’m something important…they make me feel like everyone else. I like it like that. I like being treated like a normal person…”

“They’re being negligent.” The statement was final, cold. Kyuhyun’s eyes had darkened tenfold, lips pressed into a firm line.

“No, they’re being normal!” Ryeowook’s voice cracked and he blushed, turning away from the boy holding his face.

“Are you dating the guy who fucked you?”

Ryeowook whirled on Kyuhyun. “H-Huh?” It took him another second to realize what the question was. After doing so, he shook his head, once again not meeting the other boy’s eyes. “No…we’re…just doing stuff, I think…”

“You want me to treat you ‘normally?’” The way Kyuhyun said it made Ryeowook’s blood run cold. He prepared to talk back but then a pair of harsh lips crushed his own.

A muffled yell burst from Ryeowook’s throat. His backside gently touched the cold floor, the arms that had lowered him reached down, pulling the tightly wrapped blanket apart. Kyuhyun’s tongue caught Ryeowook’s, deepening the kiss as he caught both of the smaller boy’s wrists and locked them against the floor.

Kyuhyun backed away, panting slightly. His eyes flitted over Ryeowook’s upset face. “I’m treating you ‘normally’. The people who treat you normally fuck you. I’ll just do the same thing. That’s what you want isn’t it?” He moved one clothed leg between Ryeowook’s daring the boy to answer him.

“W-What about Zhoumi?” Ryeowook attempted, not wanting to admit that perhaps he was wrong, that once again Kyuhyun was right.

“Doesn’t matter,” he retorted, “it’s just sex. We’re just being _normal_. I don’t think it matters if I have a boyfriend or not.”

The word sent a pang through Ryeowook’s chest. _Boyfriend…right…_ “Do it then.” _He doesn’t love me. I knew that…_ “We’re being normal…it’s just sex.”

***

Mir curled up on his bed, blanket thrown over head. Thunder, his roommate, had gone off to spend the night with his boyfriend, leaving Mir alone. Normally it would’ve been fine but then the natural thunder grew louder and he could no longer ignore it.

Truthfully, Mir had never told anyone but he was incredibly wary of loud noises. Thunder itself was just a passing discomfort but for some reason it was particularly noticeable that night. The only upside was that it blocked out the other thoughts that had been plaguing the boy’s mind. At least a little bit…

His phone rang, causing Mir to jump out of his skin. Scrambling to grab it, he unlocked the screen, seeing a text message reply from Taemin. A relieved sigh fell from his lips. Earlier he had been panicking and sent a message to the pretty boy in hopes of getting him to come over. So long as someone else was in the room, Mir was okay for the most part. If he had to keep a brave face for someone else, conquering fears became insurmountably easier.

**Taemin says: Maybe later or something :P I’m about to go have some fun with this really cute guy so yeah ;)**

**You say: Okay then**

He threw the phone aside, pulling his knees closer to chest. Why did he have to so blatantly tell Mir? It wasn’t like Taemin didn’t know how he felt…so why did he have to say things like that? Did he really find it amusing when Mir was hurt? Was it so damn _funny_ to see someone pining after you?

_Tap…tap…tap…_

Mir looked up at the door, heart suddenly beating faster. Maybe Taemin had been joking around; after all, no one could be that heartless right? He called to the door, “It’s open!” A small smile dared to touch Mir’s face at the possibility of the other boy coming in and keeping him company.

The door opened with a soft click. A handsome young man appeared in the doorway, eyes catching Mir’s huddled form. “You really shouldn’t leave your door open Mir,” Dongwoon remarked, staying near the door for only a moment longer. “I told you I would come by to talk about last night.”

“Oh…r-right,” he muttered, quickly throwing the blanket off in embarrassment. Mir quickly let his legs stretch out, scooting towards the edge of the bed. “L-Look, there’s nothing to say…I’m s-sorry about what happened.”

“Don’t be.”

Mir looked up in surprise. “B-But I…,” he blushed, playing with his white sweatshirt sleeves, “I made you stay up half the night taking care of me.”

“You didn’t make me.” Dongwoon placed one knee next to the seated boy’s legs. The mattress depressed as he leaned in, smiling down at Mir. “It was a good chance for me to make you fall.”

“I’m not falling for y-you,” he muttered, trying to back up.

Dongwoon’s hand clasped Mir’s as he pushed their lips together. “Well then I guess you could say I fell even more for you.”

“D-Don’t do that to me,” Mir stuttered between the kisses planted on his mouth. His body was heating up, breaths growing uneven with each sweet show of affection.

“Why not?” Dongwoon pulled Mir up, their bodies coming together in a comfortable embrace. He ran his hand over the smaller boy’s cheek, eyes beginning to close as the time between kisses shrunk.

“B-Because…we aren’t together,” he whispered, subconsciously leaning into the taller boy’s frame, fingers gaining more leverage on Dongwoon’s shirt.

The latter smiled, “I told you already. I want you, Mir. I want you…,” and then he silenced the conversation with the deepening of their kiss.

 

Taemin leaned back against the corridor wall, staring down at his open phone – at the text he had been too afraid to send.

**To Mir: Just kidding!! I’ll come over <3 Can’t wait to see you!**

An icon popped up on the Draft text. _Delete?_ Taemin shoved the phone back into his pocket, turning and walking back towards his own dorm room.

***

Zhoumi yawned, stretching and looking around the dark room. The storm was still raging outside. In fact, it was the thing that had awoken him. A fuzzy feeling filled his chest while butterflies danced in his stomach.

They had spent the past two days together and it was probably the best two days Zhoumi had had in years. Thinking back, he couldn’t believe being with Kyuhyun used to make him happy. Compared to those times…how could he have not realized the way Eunhyuk made him feel?

Speaking of which, Zhoumi peered around his love’s room only to find out that he was alone. Where had Eunhyuk gone? Before grabbing his clothes to change, the young man checked his discarded phone, seeing a text message from Kyuhyun.

It was timed at roughly eight hours ago – a reply to Zhoumi’s own text.

**Kyuhyun says: Okay, as long as you’re fine. I’ll see you tomorrow then Mi. Love you.**

There was no reason to reply now, so he tossed the phone back on the carpeted floor and went to grab some clothes.

Several minutes passed as Zhoumi struggled to dress in the dark, hoping that he had managed to grab the right clothes. Then again, did it matter? He loved wearing Eunhyuk’s clothes too…though the older boy was rather skinny – not to say Zhoumi was anything less than skinny as well.

The third year opened the bedroom door to find the normally brightly lit hallway dimmed and illuminated with gold light. A yellow ribbon was laid out on the floor, leading to somewhere around the corner.

Zhoumi followed it carefully, collecting the ribbon as he went. Halfway down the hall, an idea formed in his head and he grinned, putting it into action. With each newly collected segment, he folded and twisted, bringing together a glittering, delicate ribbon rose.

By the time the rope ended, Zhoumi had completed the decoration and looked up to see Eunhyuk standing beside a white-clothed kitchen table. He broke into a smile, extending his hand to give the blonde the rose. “Surprise!”

“I’m supposed to surprise you, silly,” Eunhyuk rolled his eyes, taking the flower and watching in dismay as it unfurled.

“So what is this?” Zhoumi prompted, not noticing that his makeshift present had fallen apart.

Laid out on the table were two plates filled with food, a single scented candle resting between the set meals. The scent was difficult to place but luckily that wasn’t the main attraction. Eunhyuk pulled Zhoumi’s chair out for him with a grin. “Please, take a seat.”

“When did you make all of this?” Zhoumi laughed, sitting down and picking up his utensils as a loud growling noise erupted from his stomach.

The older boy scoffed, digging into the food as well. “I didn’t make it. Changmin brought back leftovers from his date and I figured I should take it off his hands.”

“It’s yummy,” he remarked, swallowing a bit of the meal, “but why all of the theatrics?”

“I just felt like it,” Eunhyuk shrugged, reaching across the table to touch Zhoumi’s hand, “and because this is our last night.”

All noise ceased.

Zhoumi let go of the fork, metal making a soft thud against the fabric. “What…are you talking about…?” His brows drew together in hurt and confusion.

“I’m not going to steal you from Kyuhyun…,” the blonde murmured, shaking his head, “I can’t do that to someone. He still loves you and I don’t want to be the person who gets in the way…at least, I don’t want to be that person after these two days.”

“But…we love each other.” Zhoumi laced their fingers together, lips trembling. “You’re joking right? You’re making a really bad joke right?”

Eunhyuk studied the way their hands seemed to fit so perfectly together – like the gods had purposefully made it so. “…I’m not.” He turned up to Zhoumi. “You still love Kyuhyun. I know you do…that’s why you haven’t offered to break up with him.” When there was no response, Eunhyuk took it as a chance to continue, “I’m sure about my feelings for you. So don’t doubt me. I love you. I _have_ loved you since we met. So…now I need you to be as sure as I am.”

“I…I don’t think I can,” Zhoumi mumbled, choking on unshed tears. His heart still called out to Kyuhyun and although it wasn’t as strong as his pull towards Eunhyuk…he couldn’t say he loved one or the other with everything he had – not like Eunhyuk was asking him to do.  

“I figured,” the blonde laughed humorlessly. He let his head shake back and forth once. “…it’s okay. I knew it was like this.”

“Eunhyuk—”

“—no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

***

Kyuhyun covered Ryeowook back up. “You’re absolutely crazy.” He grimaced and wiped away the tears leaking from the other boy’s eyes.

“Do it to me,” Ryeowook sniffled, feeling Kyuhyun pull him into his lap and drape the abandoned second blanket around both of them.

“Be quiet,” Kyuhyun sighed, gently stroking the small boy’s back. Slender fingers clung to his shoulder as hot liquid ran down his chest. “I wasn’t really going to do anything so stop it.”

“I—I know,” he hiccupped, wanting to be closer to the boy who had abandoned him.

“Yeah…,” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes but still held Ryeowook closely, protectively, “…go back to sleep. The storm isn’t stopping for a long time.”

“Mmhmm…,” Ryeowook obediently snuggled into the taller boy’s body, quickly letting go of everything for a chance to be near Kyuhyun.

It didn’t matter if there was someone more important to him. Ryeowook would be okay. He would definitely be okay. And right there, as he faded into unconsciousness, he swore as soon as the storm passed, so would the uncertainty.

Now all Ryeowook had to do was wait for the morning.

Just like Taemin was waiting.

Just like Eunhyuk was waiting.

 


	28. Chapter 28

He did stop having sex. Not to say he was addicted to it from the beginning. But it had stopped, just like Kyuhyun had ordered him to do.

He did start spending more time with Sungmin. And although that time spent together was usually at club, Ryeowook had fallen back into a basic cycle of daily conversation.

However, he did not stop drinking. He downsized drinking after that blurry day before he spent the rest of the night with Kyuhyun…but to be utterly sober was too painful.

As for YoungSaeng and the others…well, they were friends. Ryeowook couldn’t let them go. They were important to him. They were the ones who had picked him up when everyone took a few steps back.

YoungSaeng came up behind his roommate, looping his arms around Ryeowook’s shoulders. “Yo kiddo,” he greeted, grinning and peering at the open laptop. “Oh? What’s that?” He stared at the handsome, black haired boy belting out powerful notes of a song. “He’s fucking hot. How come you’re always talking or watching such attractive people?”

A small snicker left Ryeowook’s mouth and he paused the video. “He’s my hyung who graduated last year. His name is Yesung…did you never meet him?”

“Hmm…damn, I wish I had met him,” YoungSaeng grumbled, flopping down beside the younger boy. “So why do you have a video of him singing?”

Ryeowook shrugged. “It was a Christmas present…from an old friend.” He would never admit it but he watched that video nearly every night. Part of the reason was because of Kyuhyun but mostly it was due to Yesung. His heart fluttered every time he heard that voice singing his favorite songs. No matter who gave it to him, it was too beautiful to give up.

“Well either way, this guy is awesome,” the third year scoffed, playing the video and humming along to the song. “You like this song too?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites,” Ryeowook replied, rolling onto his side and smiling at the boy lying beside him.

YoungSaeng reached out, brushing aside his roommate’s red hair and letting his lips brush over Ryeowook’s. The summer sun poured over their features, lighting them white and gold. “So…what are we?” he murmured, eyes soft and unfathomable.

“Do you like me…?” Ryeowook asked, trying to ascertain what the older boy truly felt.

Indifference flitted over YoungSaeng’s face. “I do.”

Ryeowook smiled. “I like you too.” He snuggled into the soft bed sheets, inching closer to the third year. “No love, right?”

“Nope,” he grunted, pulling Ryeowook closer to him and kissing the boy again, “love is stupid.”

“Why do you think that?”

YoungSaeng smirked, yawning and lifting Ryeowook on top of him. “Because love is so ridiculous and fake. How many people do you think would actually risk their lives for someone they ‘love’?”

He had a point…though Ryeowook still doubted the words a bit. Surely there was someone out there who would risk his or her life…right? Ryeowook hoped that was true at least.

Suddenly the door flew open.

Ryeowook sat up, eyes wide. “What—?” He was stopped as a wide smile spread across his face.

A soft cheek pressed against his as two slim arms caught him around the neck. Ryeowook stumbled backwards, falling half off his new boyfriend.

“What the hell?” YoungSaeng mumbled, sitting up to see who had attacked the small boy. What he saw however was an even smaller boy lying partially on top of him and the red head.

“I got back early!” Henry beamed, flicking light brown hair out of his face, gentle eyes twinkling at Ryeowook.

“H-Henry!”

The young boy looked around happily, innocently.

***

Sungmin crossed his arms, eyes squinting in a headache worthy train of thought. The situation was far too difficult to understand. Ryeowook had been coming to club and had been going to eat with them more often than not. Everything was almost like before – except for the fact that Ryeowook was hanging out with a group of not-so squeaky clean third years.

As much as they wanted to confront him about it, it never seemed like the right time.

“Don’t think too hard, Sungminnie,” Minho remarked, taking a sip of water and raising an eyebrow at the black haired cutie, “we still have tonight to figure things out.”

“Don’t say that so easily,” Sungmin groaned, “we _only_ have one night left. Do you understand that we’re going to be so screwed if we can’t get through to him by tonight?”

Mir chimed in then, saying, “That’s true…Tech Crew activities will be over until mid-July.”

“See? That means Ryeowook will be seeing us less and probably spending more time with those third years. We probably won’t know what he’s up to during those three weeks!”

Minho paused, thinking the situation over. “Well then we just have to show him somehow. Isn’t there any way to tell him that alcohol is bad?” He fought the urge to roll his eyes. Wasn’t it already too obvious how horrible alcohol was?

“The play _still_ isn’t over?” Taemin whined, tugging on Mir’s arm. He looked up at the other boy with puppy eyes, almost pleading. “Can’t you skip the last night? Do they even need you?”

Mir’s lips parted in silent confusion. “H-Huh? W-Well I have to control the sound…there’s no way I can leave…”

Sungmin angled his body away from the now hissing and arguing couple – mainly Taemin hissing and arguing – and glared at Minho urgently. “I’ve been doing everything possible but he won’t listen. Not to mention he isn’t taking the new medication anymore. Apparently Dr. Choi put him back on the old one because the effects were too strong.”

“Wait, what does that have to do with anything?” Minho sighed. Why couldn’t Sungmin tell him things as they happened? It was like the worst case of procrastination he had ever faced.

“The new medication made him really hysterical and anxious, but during that time he told me the truth about a lot of things…so I guess that’s the only reason I would miss it,” Sungmin explained.

The other boy nodded the tiniest bit. “Why don’t you get him alone and just…tell him that you’re worried and you care about him. Have you tried that yet?”

A light blush dusted his features. “No…isn’t that too intimate?”

“You’re friends and you like him and you’ve kissed. I think it’s a little late to get embarrassed about intimacy,” Minho snorted

Sungmin shot him a harsh glare before letting the anger drop. “It’s hard getting rejected though…I don’t want our conversation ending in Kyuhyun again. It always does.”

A hand ruffled Sungmin’s hair, Minho smiling forcefully. “I have an idea I think…”

“Really?” Sungmin exhaled shoulders relaxing, “I was afraid someone like you wouldn’t get what I meant.” He glanced down at his phone, eyes widening in alarm. “Oh man, I have to get going. Hey, Mir we have to go!”

The one in question jerked away from Taemin’s onslaught of kisses and touches to respond, “O-Okay!” And then Mir was prying the pretty boy off of him, following Sungmin towards the exit of the Dining Hall.

Minho noted the mixture of sadness and anger in his friend’s eyes and smiled grimly. He wanted to comfort Taemin by telling him that at least Mir liked him. In his own case, Sungmin couldn’t even see beyond their initial encounter. Minho had been dubbed the tolerable friend of Ryeowook – the only person that Sungmin could plot with.

It would never be Minho and Sungmin.

His eyes slid to Taemin one more time. It was already Mir and Taemin. But how much longer would that last?

“Hey Taeminnie,” Minho prompted, “wanna go to KUG tonight?”

 


	29. Chapter 29

The theatre filled with a sweet voice reciting Shakespeare. Sungmin listened lazily, his job done for a while as the light controller. Beside him Mir was paying close mind to the shifts and microphone usage.

Ryeowook voice came over the headset and Sungmin jumped at the chance to reply. He pressed the communication button, saying, “What is it Wookie?”

“I’m coming up to the Sound Booth,” he replied, “Dongwoon needs Mir backstage for a few minutes.”

“Alright,” Sungmin answered, nodding for Mir to go ahead as he figured Ryeowook was probably halfway to the Sound Booth by then.

As expected, a minute or so later Ryeowook was opening the black door and waving at Sungmin before taking over the sound controls. He busied with familiarizing himself with the current settings. Sungmin simply watched his friend work, waiting patiently for him to finish before striking up conversation.

Ryeowook sighed contentedly and turned to grin at Sungmin. “Guess what?” he whispered excitedly.

Sungmin tilted his head in response.

“Henry is back!” Ryeowook wrote out on a sheet of paper, not wanting to disturb the audience members with his excitement.

“Oh? That’s so cool,” Sungmin whispered, remembering the tiny violinist. Had he really been gone for almost a year? It felt strange thinking that – not that they were close to begin with. But Ryeowook had spoken about him so often it felt like Sungmin knew the kid anyway.

The red head nodded enthusiastically and wrote down, “I asked him and YoungSaeng to come tonight! They’re in the audience!”

“Your roommate is here?” Sungmin scribbled down, eyes large in panic.

The other boy smiled which was enough answer for Sungmin.

***

Minho moved to the beat of the music, his hands resting on some guy’s hips. From what he could tell, the boy was pretty attractive but then again, all he had seen was his backside. Somewhere near him, he could Taemin grinding up on another no-face student.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring the other boy with him. Minho sighed, warm breath sliding over his dancing partner’s neck. “You should do that again,” the nameless boy smirked, rolling himself back into Minho’s crotch.

The latter didn’t reply, instead he continued shooting Taemin worried looks. Although he was doing that and grinning happily…Minho couldn’t shake the feeling that he obviously didn’t want to be anywhere near the no name dancer.

Looking around, Minho found a single person and beckoned for him to come over. After a second’s hesitation, the tall boy came over and Minho passed his partner off, striding over to get Taemin.

“C’mon, you’re leaving,” he called over the music, grabbing Taemin’s hand and pulling him away from Grabby Hands. Minho curled his lip in distaste at the over-the-top dancing. Then again, he used to be just like that.

Taemin had a whole stream of curses and vicious arguments but by the time they reached the trap door and staircase all of the venom had already been spent during the fight out of the pit.

“Go already,” Minho pushed his friend towards the exit, “you should go talk to that kid.”

“What about you?” Taemin asked, looking around uncertainly. “And I don’t want to talk to Mir,” he added with a huff, eyebrows coming together in annoyance.

Minho resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Whatever, I’m going to get a drink and dance some more. It’s not like I have anyone I need to talk to.”

“But…”

“Just go already you brat.”

Taemin didn’t argue anymore, nearly knocking over the doorman in his haste to escape.

Just as he disappeared into the dark, all of the music in the club came to a painful halt. Minho whirled around, wondering what the hell had happened.

***

Sungmin watched the play without really watching it. His attention was shot and his eyes were tired – not to mention his head was hurting because of a certain boy sitting beside him.

“This is my favorite scene,” Ryeowook whispered against Sungmin’s ear, shocking the latter.

“W-Why?” Sungmin managed, trying to calm his racing heart.

Ryeowook pressed a finger to his lips and pointed, eyes shining with anticipation.

 

The actor playing Puck came onstage, the rest of the cast lying around the sleepy, dreamscape. An impish smile played on his lips as he made a flourish with his arms and looked around at his audience members, reciting:

 

 _If we shadows have offended,_ __  
Think but this, and all is mended,  
That you have but slumber'd here  
While these visions did appear.  
And this weak and idle theme,  
No more yielding but a dream,  
Gentles, do not reprehend:  
if you pardon, we will mend:  
And, as I am an honest Puck,  
If we have unearned luck  
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,  
We will make amends ere long;  
Else the Puck a liar call;  
So, good night unto you all.  
Give me your hands, if we be friends,  
And Robin shall restore amends.

 

He bowed, followed by the rest of the cast. Soon after, the curtains closed.

 

Sungmin internally cursed himself at not noticing the time lapse. It was already the end of the play! What had he been doing the whole time? Rapidly, he turned to Ryeowook only to find the boy waving at two audience members who were quickly making their way towards the open window of the Sound Booth.

A precious boy grinned up at them whilst a taller, dark haired one followed him. Henry waved at Ryeowook and then Sungmin. “That was so cool! I’ve never seen this one but it was funny,” he laughed and looked up at YoungSaeng, “you agree right, YoungSaeng-hyung?”

“Yeah,” the older boy mumbled, hands in his pockets as he looked around – anywhere but Henry apparently.

Ryeowook smiled, looking accomplished. “Ah, you should head back to the dorms Henry. It’s already late and I’m going to be stuck here until eleven or twelve striking the set.”

The first year frowned and nodded like a good boy. “Okay…then I’ll see you tomorrow, Wookie-hyung!”

“Could you make sure he gets home okay, YoungSaeng?” Ryeowook asked, half pleading the third year to be nice just that one time.

“Sure,” he replied rather easily, “let’s go Henry.”

Ryeowook watched the pair head off and only turned away when Sungmin whipped him around by the shoulder, eyes hysterical. “You trust _him_ to take care of Henry?”

A sly smile crossed Ryeowook’s lips as he looped his arm through Sungmin’s and bounded off towards the exit. “It’s a secret, but YoungSaeng is actually one of Henry’s biggest fans. He wouldn’t let anything happen to him.”

Sungmin raised an eyebrow. Well now that was something he wasn’t expecting.

***

Taemin rushed into the auditorium, chest heaving, eyes racing. He found the stairs leading up to the stage, walking to the back area in search for Mir. Although Taemin wasn’t sure if it was love or even like…he knew that he didn’t like seeing someone else hugging Mir – _kissing_ Mir.

If all he could do was make the other boy stay with just him, then Taemin would do it. Being with other people and doing stuff with other people…all of the times he had done that…had it made Mir feel the same heart clenching pain?

He swung around a corner, coming face to face with the one scene he hadn’t wanted to ever see again.

Except this time it was even worse.

This time he was watching his Mir kissing that disgusting bastard back. The body that he knew the best was seated on a working table and the waist that was only his to hug was being held by someone else...and the arms that were supposed to only cling onto his neck were draped around another’s.

“You’re not allowed to do that.”

Mir broke away but at the same time, those long, sickening arms tightened around his body. “T…Taemin,” he said softly, arms dropping from around Dongwoon’s neck.

“Don’t touch someone who doesn’t like you,” Taemin growled, eyes narrowed hatefully at the chestnut haired boy holding his...important person (?)

Dongwoon stared blankly at the feminine boy for a moment before realization dawned on his face. “Oh my god… _you’re_ the one I’m fighting against?” his jaw slackened but quickly fixed itself as he smirked. “No way…that’s too easy.”

“Shut the fuck up you oaf,” Taemin snapped, his unwilling legs sticking him to the spot, “There is no fight because Mir likes me and I...Mir is mine.”

“Mir isn’t anyone’s,” he replied calmly, “especially not some pint-sized princess’s. Shouldn’t you go find someone…more fit to you?”

Taemin clenched his hands into fists. “What do you mean more fit to me? Mir is fine.”

Dongwoon didn’t miss the flicker of hurt pass over Mir’s face. However, his voice didn’t betray him as he said, “Yeah, Mir is great for someone like _me._ Not you. Not some teeny-tiny kid like you. Can’t you tell?” He picked Mir up, swinging the boy around until they both stood on the ground. “We fit so much better. We share common interests. We even look better together.” A quiet chuckle fell from his lips as he turned his head and swept a kiss across Mir’s surprised lips. “When you look at us, don’t you see a couple? When you walked in, didn’t you see how well we move together?”

“…Aren’t you going to say anything Mir?” Taemin demanded harshly, shooting a cold glare at the quiet boy. “If you like me then why aren’t you trying to get away from him?”

Mir looked down, then back up and finally at Taemin. His eyes were red rimmed and wet, an expression that effectively dispersed all thoughts of betrayal Taemin had been harboring.

“Mir…?” he called quietly, taking a hesitant step toward the pair hugging.

“It hurts…,” Mir’s voice broke and he lowered his head on Dongwoon’s shoulder, eyes closing, “…every time you reject me…”

All of the bitter emotions drained from Taemin as those words crashed down on him. _So he had been hurting that entire time…?_ It probably couldn’t even compare when Taemin lined his momentary pain to all of the heartache he had caused Mir during the past year…not even close.

***

Minho crouched down before the crying boy. He offered him a napkin, watching as the red face rose to see who pitied him.

Once he saw it was Minho, the boy dropped his head, trying to move away with the words, “What do you want?”

And exactly what _did_ Minho want? He paused, pondering the question for a long minute. Slowly, he wiped away the crying boy’s tears with the napkin, lifting his face in the process. “Wanna get back together, Key?”


	30. Chapter 30

Kyuhyun smiled at the boy standing in the doorway. “Happy Anniversary, Zhoumi.” He stood in the center of the club room, candles lining the walls and glow in the dark stars dangling from the ceiling.

The older boy looked around, slowly entering the room and covering his mouth. Kyuhyun stepped forward, taking Zhoumi’s hand and tugging him further in as he kicked the door shut. “What…but…,” he blinked away the shocked tears, allowing his lover to lead him to a table set for dinner.

“It’s already been a year since I asked you out. Did you forget?” Kyuhyun chuckled.

Zhoumi shook his head, blushing in the dim light. “I just didn’t think you would remember…or well, I know that we haven’t been talking very well these past few months…”

There was a brief silence before Kyuhyun leaned across the table to kiss his lover’s forehead. “Sorry…I guess I’ve been dealing with stuff. But today is special and I wanted to spend it with you. Is that okay?”

“Of course Kyu,” he insisted, “we’re lovers…why shouldn’t we spend our anniversary together?”

“Good, then enjoy,” Kyuhyun stated, repositioning in his seat and picking up utensils.

They were lovers. Lovers spent their anniversary together. Zhoumi had to keep reminding himself of those words. If not, he was almost sure he would grimace at the sight of the elaborate setting.

And why ‘grimace’? Because of what had happened the previous night…

 

Eunhyuk had been avoiding Zhoumi like the plague since their affair back in April. In fact, he had even stopped dropping by KUG to see how it was doing. Without a peace maker like the blonde around, Zhoumi’s stress levels had sky-rocketed, what with Key breathing fire down his neck and then Kyuhyun barely speaking to him back at home.

Everything fell to fucking hell since Eunhyuk left.

And then…it happened.

Zhoumi snapped. Not just snapped though, he blew his top.

There was nothing special about that night at KUG. It was routine. Students came in, filled the underground club to the max, and Zhoumi was stuck being a waiter for the booths.

Key was simply sitting with a group of friends, talking and laughing. It looked as if he were having a good night – hopefully that meant he wouldn’t verbally insult Zhoumi anytime soon. That sad little dream was short lived though.

The KUG heir called out to Zhoumi, practically screaming at him to refill their drinks. Zhoumi bit back all of the nasty things he wanted to yell in that annoying boy’s face and brought over the tray of drinks.

He hoped the humiliation would end there, but then Key’s hand was shooting out, thrusting the tray up and sending the drinks collapsing onto Zhoumi’s body. “Why would I want a whore like you getting me drinks?” Key spat, laughing with his friends and high-fiving them. “Can you believe he actually thought I would want drinks from him?”

And then, like a thin, strained wire snapping, so did Zhoumi. The drenched boy threw the glass tray at a wall, glass shards flying every which way. All of the music and dancing came to an abrupt halt.

Key stared at Zhoumi blankly, but then the situation processed in his mind and his mouth opened as his face turned almost purple from fury.

“NO!” Zhoumi screamed.

The KUG owner shut his mouth reflexively, body freezing at the tone of voice.

“JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH FOR ONE DAMN SECOND YOU PRISSY LITTLE BITCH!” he roared, hands clenching into fists. “I’M SO FUCKING DONE.” Zhoumi slammed his fist down on the table, rocking all of the drinks and sending them into people’s laps or onto the hard floor where the glass shattered.

He used his free hand to grabbed Key’s collar, yanking the boy close to his face. “Y’know, at one time someone stopped me from ruining you. But he’s not here anymore so I’m just going to say it.” Zhoumi smiled bitterly, shoving Key into one of his friends and turning around to address the entire club. “I bet all of you think Key is a pretty cool guy huh?!” No one said anything. “Well guess what, he’s _pathetic!_ The reason he’s such a _bitch_ is because the only person who _ever liked him broke it off._ He still keeps a picture of them together! And you wanna know what that guy’s name is? It’s—” A rough hand crashed over Zhoumi’s open mouth as an arm caught his waist, pulling him away.

“Sorry everyone! DJ, music!” Eunhyuk shouted, waving his hand at the stunned and awkward disc jockey. He looked down at the struggling boy and dragged him away, through the club and out into the dark night.

Zhoumi tore away from Eunhyuk the moment they clambered up the stairs and the trap door shut with a resounding thud. “What are you doing here?!” he wiped his mouth, glaring at the older boy.

“What do you think _you_ were doing just then?!” Eunhyuk shot back, running a hand through his hair tiredly. “You were about to tell everyone a secret that wasn’t even yours Zhoumi! What were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking that Key deserves a reality check!” he snapped, fuming and trying to dry his sticky hair. “Did you see what he did right before I told everyone? Did you see him throw all of those drinks on me? How can you be taking _his side?!_ ”

Eunhyuk gripped Zhoumi’s shoulders. “I would never take his side!” he whisper-yelled. “What he did was bad and if you hadn’t started telling him off then I would’ve punched him in the face…but what you were about to do wouldn’t have been equal! What if someone were to tell the whole world your deepest, darkest secret? Do you think that’s the same as pouring drinks on someone?”

“…what do you care anyway?”

The blonde’s breath hitched at the accusatory tone.

Zhoumi writhed in the hold, trying to free himself of the strong arms. “ _You’re_ the reason I lost it, Eunhyuk! If you hadn’t stopped talking to me…if you hadn’t stopped coming to see me then I would’ve been alright! But you did,” his eyes were wet with tears, jaw clenched in suppressed sobs, “you left me with no one to go to! I might as well have been alone!”

“Why didn’t you talk to your lover?” Eunhyuk asked quietly, grip tightening slightly. “Kyuhyun was there the whole time. You said you love him so why didn’t you talk to him if you were stressed? Why does it have to be me Zhoumi? Why do you have to turn to me knowing that I love you…?”

“Because you’ve always been the only one I could talk to!” he cried, eyes shutting, head dropping. The response was so quick that Eunhyuk had to gather himself before listening to the rest of the other one’s words. “I don’t love you with everything I’ve got, but I love you so much more than I can say Eunhyuk! You’re my closest friend…you’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to family…and you left me because I couldn’t love you with all my heart.”

Eunhyuk loosened his hold on the slender boy, hands rising to cup Zhoumi’s damp, sticky face. “…Why do you have to be like this?” he sighed, voice cracking. “Why do you always make me change my mind…?”

Zhoumi didn’t answer as he tried to cover his face again; all of the tremors making him cold even in the late June night.

“I’ll fight for you.”

The younger boy’s eyes flew open and he met Eunhyuk’s steady gaze. “What…are you talking about?”

Eunhyuk pushed Zhoumi’s dark hair back from his face. “I thought you had to love me with your entire heart, but I guess that’s not possible,” he said in a small, gentle voice, “…but being your closest friend makes up for that, huh?”

 

“…mi? Zhoumi?” Kyuhyun brushed the back of his hand against his lover’s cheek. “Are you okay? You’re being really quiet.”

Zhoumi offered a tiny smile. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I…just can’t believe you did all of this.”

“Oh,” the younger boy looked around, shrugging, “it wasn’t difficult.”

“That’s good,” Zhoumi stated, forcing cheeriness into his tone, “Happy Anniversary Kyu.”

It was only momentary, but a flash of some sort of emotion passed through Kyuhyun’s eyes. In the dark it was too difficult for Zhoumi to see, but that didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have noticed anyway, not with his thoughts swimming in Eunhyuk. Kyuhyun didn’t mind either though. He was perfectly content with keeping his feelings inside.

The younger of the two raised his glass, grinning at Zhoumi, “Happy Anniversary.”

 


	31. Chapter 31

Ryeowook rolled over in bed, his mind spinning with thoughts of Sungmin. Outside the sun was beginning to rise, dawn sending the silver speckled night away. He stared out the window, white curtains fluttering as the early morning chill rolled over his skin.

Fresh scents of summer wafted in, relaxing his muscles with its earthy hints and crispness. For a moment, Ryeowook allowed his eyes to close again, soft breeze ruffling his hair. A smile found its way onto his lips. The calm however did not last.

He sighed, feeling a strange sense of guilt for having treated Sungmin like that. Of course the latter was just trying to help Ryeowook, but what if he didn’t want help anymore? What if he liked how life was going? Was there something wrong with that? Ryeowook knew the consequences of drinking. He had long ago accepted them. So Sungmin shouldn’t have confronted him. If had hadn’t confronted him then perhaps Ryeowook could’ve been getting some more sleep before setting off.

Two days had passed already and still Sungmin’s words pounded in his brain. There was no way to get rid of them apparently. Ryeowook rolled over again, flexing his sleep-stiffened fingers. _Why did you have to guilt trip me Minnie?_

***

Sungmin zipped up his luggage, pulling a thin sweater on and zipping it half up. Bits and pieces from his last encounter with Ryeowook drummed in his brain. He _knew_ that would happen. How else would Ryeowook react to being told so bluntly that he was being stupid?

Obviously the boy wouldn’t be inclined to agree. If he had agreed, Sungmin probably would have been more worried.

He let himself breathe a small sigh of relief – relief for Henry’s offer to take Sungmin and anyone else who wanted to go along with him.

As they would have it, Henry wanted to take Ryeowook on a trip to the ocean, along with all of the people who wanted to come along. Sungmin had merely overheard the conversation but he wanted to join if it meant monitoring Ryeowook and keeping him away from YoungSaeng.

The last thing Sungmin wanted was the third year getting any closer to Ryeowook.

If he had to go on a vacation with them then hell he would. Sungmin slung the duffel over his shoulder as he walked towards the door.

Halfway down the hall, he stopped, contemplating whether or not to tell Minho. There was still some time before Henry said the bus would be around to get them…and it felt wrong to keep the situation a secret from Minho – since the guy had gone through so much with them already.

Sungmin spun on his heel, tapping down the hall towards Minho’s room. This time, he knocked a decent amount, waiting patiently for an answer.

The door finally clicked open and Sungmin opened his mouth to speak right away. But then he saw a slim, disheveled and slightly irritated young man standing opposite him. Sungmin doubted for a moment if perhaps he had knocked on the wrong door.

That fear vanished in an instant as he watched a sleepy Minho wrapped his arms around the half naked boy who had answered the door.

“What’s keeping you?” the taller of the two yawned, bleary eyes focusing bit by bit on Sungmin. It was almost visible the way Minho’s brain was suddenly turning its gears.

“I’m guessing you’re busy then,” Sungmin remarked, looking the situation up and down, “I just thought you would want to know I’m going with Ryeowook and YoungSaeng on a trip.” He readjusted the travel bag, heading towards the downstairs front door again.

Minho leaned over Key’s bare shoulder. “Wait!”

“Hmm?” Sungmin asked, checking his watch many times over.

“This…,” and for a second there Sungmin wasn’t sure what the other boy was talking about as Minho’s eyes trailed around and then back up at him, “…is the last chance. You know that right?”

A strong pounding in Sungmin’s chest shocked him and he fought the urge to touch the spot over his heart. If Minho was talking about getting Ryeowook back, then yes, it was definitely the last chance. “I know,” he replied before turning and walking away.

As the boy left, Minho shook his head, pulling Key closer to him. “No…you don’t know.”

***

Mir stood in front of the bus with Henry, glancing down at the small boy from time to time. How had he gotten into this situation? From the frantic way Sungmin had spoken last night, it had to be for an important reason but to be fair the panicky boy had called at a bad time.

From what Mir gathered, Henry had invited anyone and everyone on a two day, one night trip to the ocean. Originally it was supposed to be only Ryeowook, YoungSaeng and all of those other third years but somehow Sungmin had heard of it and added himself and Mir to the guest list.

A thought occurred to him then. Just…how much did Sungmin love Ryeowook?

“I knew I recognized you!”

Mir jumped, head snapping down to the loud voice. That certainly wasn’t a language he spoke.

Henry was grinning. “You’re the rapper I always heard last year. I thought you sounded so cool so I walked around the building and looked through the window and saw you!”

“Oh…,” a soft pink tinted Mir’s cheeks, “don’t tell anyone about that okay?”

“Why not?” Henry’s brow furrowed and he clasped one hand in front of his mouth, starting to rap something in English. Mir cocked an eyebrow, trying to control his facial expression at the cute attempt to rap. “See? We can rap together,” the younger boy offered a thumbs-up, eyes twinkling in amusement.

“Ah, then sometime soon,” Mir replied, finally starting to understand why Ryeowook liked the little kid so much.

Henry checked his phone for the time and looked around, seeing a group of people coming towards them finally. “Oh good, they’re here,” he remarked, waving once at the crowd before running over to greet Ryeowook.

_Bzzz…_

Mir reached into his back pocket, pulling out a phone. There was a new message icon. With slightly trembling fingers, he opened it.

**Taemin says: I know you don’t want to see me but I really want to talk to you. I’ve never done this before and I don’t know why I care so much but I don’t want to stop seeing you. Can we still meet…?**

“Hey Mir, are you ready to go?” Sungmin patted his friend’s shoulder, nodding at the quickly filling bus.

His phone vibrated again and he quickly pulled it out, reading the text message.

**Dongwoon says: See you when you get back! Be careful!**

 “Y…Yeah…,” he mumbled reluctantly. His body started moving towards the vehicle but as the sole of his foot touched the first step, his already weak resolve cracked completely. “No.”

Sungmin opened his mouth, confusion all over his face.

“I can’t go.” Mir blushed and mumbled an apology before turning around and rushing back towards the academy.

He watched the normally stuttering boy vanish into the campus, letting the current state of affairs sink in. Sungmin turned his head, seeing Ryeowook chatting happily with the people around him. _I guess I’m the doing this alone…_

 


	32. Chapter 32

“C’mon Donghae, just like we practiced,” Kyuhyun nudged his friend forward.

The latter shook his head vigorously, teeth grinding in fear. “I can’t do this Kyu! Oh god, I think I stopped breathing. Am I still breathing?” Donghae put his hand over mouth, eyes darting every which way.

Kyuhyun smacked the side of his head and grabbed his shoulders, glaring into those anxious eyes. “Chill. You can do this. We’ve been practicing and I’m not about to let you waste my time like that. You’re gonna go do this now or now.”

“Isn’t that the same option?” he answered from behind his hand.

“No, they’re a little different,” Kyuhyun answered as he circled the boy and shoved the mouth covering hand down, “One was put before the other. Now go already!” He kicked the back of Donghae’s knees, causing the boy to stumble forward and then flat on his face around the corner of the building.

He scrambled up to retreat but saw Kyuhyun already disappearing around the back of the building. When Donghae looked up, Kibum was walking towards him. “Oh no…,” his eyes widened and he looked around, terrified.

“Donghae-hyung?” Kibum called, shuffling closer to the older boy and looking up. “What are you doing? Are you okay…? I saw you fall just now…”

“N-No, I’m fine!” he stammered. Donghae took a quick breath and then grabbed Kibum’s hand, staring down at the younger boy. “C-Can we go somewhere? I…I need to talk to you.”

Kibum blinked and then smiled. “Sure! What is it?” He glanced down at their connected hands before looking back up at Donghae for an answer.

“On a walk,” he answered, quickly adding, “If that’s okay with you.”

Kyuhyun leaned against the front of a building, watching the entire exchange with a slightly exasperated smile. It was definitely cute. Now he just had to pray that Donghae wouldn’t mess things up, especially since it was so difficult setting up the situation. You would be surprised at how clingy the StudGov President was.

From the looks of it, everything was going alright. Kibum hadn’t jerked away from the handsome boy yet – always a good sign. Soon they were disappearing into the park path around a set of buildings and Kyuhyun let his crossed arms fall in semi-relief.

That feeling didn’t last long though.

His eyes rose and he said, “Is there something you want Eunhyuk?”

The university student nodded somberly, “Can we talk for a bit?”

 

The pair strode through the park – at Kyuhyun’s request. He was still hoping to catch the moment where Donghae got the boy or not. As they travelled further into the stone paved park, Kyuhyun could feel a strange pressure forming around both of them.

“What did you wanna talk to me about?” Kyuhyun finally asked, tired of waiting for the older boy to speak.

Eunhyuk didn’t answer right away, seemingly trying to prepare himself for whatever was about to be uttered.

It was poor timing though, as they reached a circular expanse of the strolling path. A fountain spouted water down into a clear pool that sparkled under the late afternoon sun. All of that was beautiful normally, but the best – most beautiful – part of the scene was about to happen.

“Wait!” Kyuhyun cut Eunhyuk off, grabbing the blonde’s arm and pushing him behind an occupied bench. The pair of students gawked down at their odd behavior but said nothing – probably too afraid to piss off the sharp-tongued Kyuhyun.

“What are we doing?” Eunhyuk whispered, peeking between the bench occupants heads.

Kyuhyun made a shushing noise and strained his ears to hear the conversation between Donghae and Kibum.

“K-Kibum,” the second year gulped, letting go of the younger’s hand, “I know you like Siwon and that you two are happy together. But…But I think you can be eve happier.” Donghae was blushing and fiddling with his fingers, head rising and falling occasionally. “When I met you Kibum I thought you were just another nerd…”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and internally slammed his head against the bench he kneeled behind. Why couldn’t he have stuck to the script better? And why for the love of all that is good, did he have to use that tone when saying “nerd”?

“…that you’re the one for me. I’m not trying to sound crazy or overbearing,” he clarified earnestly, “I just want you to know that I like you.” Donghae brought his hands together, rolling his wrists and suddenly yanking his cupped palm back to reveal a red rose.

Kibum’s reaction was missed by Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk but it could be assumed that the reaction was one of surprise.

The first year took the deep red rose from Donghae, twirling it in his hands and saying something that made the older boy’s face light up.

Kyuhyun cheered to himself, smirking at his handy-work.

Donghae hugged Kibum then, a wide smile on his face. As they pulled apart, the handsome and somewhat clumsy boy pressed a finger to his lips and tilted his head skyward. There was a rapid fluttering from all around as white angels burst from the trees, spiraling up and up, releasing glowing feathers.

Oh wait, they were just doves. Kyuhyun caught his breath at the show, happy that everything had been timed properly.

“Whoa…,” Eunhyuk muttered, eyes following the fluttering creatures, “did you know this was going to happen?”

Kyuhyun scoffed, standing up and dusting his pants off. “Did I _know_? I _planned_ it, man.” He took a deep breath, relishing in the success for a moment longer. Then he turned serious eyes to the blonde man. “What did you want to talk about now?”

Eunhyuk sobered just as quickly, squaring off his shoulders and meeting the intimidating boy’s gaze. “Will you give me Zhoumi?”

“…What?” There was far more confusion than anger in his voice – in fact, was he even angry?

“Give me Zhoumi, Kyuhyun,” Eunhyuk repeated, this time without the uncertainty of a question. He closed his eyes for a brief second, and then went on, “I never wanted to be the guy who broke up a couple. But here I am, doing it. Look, I’m serious about him. I can’t stay away from him no matter how much I fucking try. I thought maybe I could leave him alone once I left for university but it just didn’t work. Somehow, I kept coming back.”

And still, no anger was forming in Kyuhyun’s eyes. Eunhyuk almost felt himself getting mad at the simple fact that Kyuhyun didn’t look ready to jack him in the face. Hearing someone confess their love for your boyfriend was supposed to enrage you, right? But…those black eyes…were so _blank._

Kyuhyun glanced at the two nosy listeners. “Get out.”

They bolted at the order, hurrying away from the intense atmosphere.

He turned back to Eunhyuk. “You…,” Kyuhyun paused, seemingly trying to find words to convey his emotions, “…don’t you think it’s sort of weird to be coming to me? It’s not like I own Zhoumi.”

“I thought asking for permission would make me seem like less of an insensitive bastard,” he replied evenly.

“Only a little,” Kyuhyun remarked. “So, since we’re confessing stuff, tell me everything.” At Eunhyuk’s shocked face, Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and walked around the bench to take a seat on it. “Oh c’mon. I’m not stupid enough to think you and Zhoumi didn’t have something going on. So tell me now.”

Hesitantly, Eunhyuk sat down beside the calm boy, fidgeting a bit. “This isn’t some sort of trick right?”

“What could I possibly be trying to trick you with?” he sighed, slinging one arm behind the bench and leaning back, eyes closing, face heavenward. “Talk, already.”

Eunhyuk pursed his lips, swallowing and speaking with a slight tremor. “We slept together…a lot. And we talked a lot. Then everything stopped when I pushed him away. That didn’t last long. About three months ago, I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me. We slept together again. Then I pushed him away again because he still loved you. But _then_ he confronted me a week ago and I told him I can’t stay away anymore. That’s all,” he finished softly, suddenly feeling like the biggest jackass in the world. How the fuck could he do all of that with someone else’s lover?

“Can I punch you just once?” Kyuhyun asked.

“What?” Eunhyuk stuttered.

The younger boy stood up, raising a tightly clenched fist. “Let me punch you once in the face and you can be with Zhoumi for the rest of your life.”

“Rest of my life…?” he restated, slowly standing up as well. His heart was beating rapidly at the prospect…at the whole surreal situation. “Are you serious? You’re giving him up just like that?”

Kyuhyun nodded. “I’m not giving him up. I’m letting him go free. I’m letting myself go free.” He smirked, rolling his neck and repositioning his fist. “Now, let me punch you once and consider Zhoumi and you free to do as you please.”

Eunhyuk braced himself, flinching as he watched the pale knuckles come at him. But in the split second before white stars blinded him, he could see the bitterness on Kyuhyun’s face.

The kid really wasn’t _just_ breaking up with Zhoumi. He was closing an era of his life – an era of time he had been struggling with for a long time. It was not a quick decision. There was longing and exhaustion in his impassive eyes, buried deep inside and only coming to the surface for that singular moment. Kyuhyun really had known everything. He had been waiting, contemplating… but now it was done.

Their year of love was over.

 


	33. Chapter 33

It was a nostalgic sight. The ocean was fresh and salty that night. They had all spent the night partying – avoiding alcohol as much as possible at YoungSaeng’s request. As shocking as it was, the third year was strongly against having those types of beverages around Henry.

Well, Ryeowook understood and Sungmin did as well but they were sworn to secrecy.

“Are you having fun?” Ryeowook asked, sitting down beside Henry who was playing with his violin quietly. They young boy had been an active part of the festivities for a while but abruptly faded into the background as all of the older kids started talking about things he didn’t quite understand.

The violinist lifted his head and smiled, nodding happily. “I’m just a little tired, Wookie-hyung. You don’t have to worry about it.” He plucked the violin strings again, seemingly testing the tension – or something of the sort.

“If you’re bored, you can tell me,” Ryeowook persisted, patting the younger boy’s soft hair, “We can play a game if you want.”

Sungmin crouched down to complete the triangular circle. “Henry, you’re the host who invited us! Why don’t you join the party again?”

A small frown formed on the first year’s face. “I’m really okay, Sungmin-hyung, Wookie-hyung,” he stated, looking up, “There’s just something important that I had to think about. I’m working on a new piece and it’s just frustrating that I haven’t finished it yet. So…don’t worry anymore.”

“Stop stressing,” Ryeowook stated kindly, “just relax for tonight and we’ll try to find you some sort of inspiration tomorrow at the beach! You can’t waste this chance to have fun Henry. You’re still a kid so you should be making memories with your friends.”

Reluctantly, Henry nodded, putting away the violin carefully. “What did you have in mind?” he stretched his legs out, rolling his neck.

Off to the side, YoungSaeng and his friends were arguing and laughing about some sort of card game. Ryeowook grinned, taking Henry’s hand and pulling him up. “Wanna see something cool?” he asked quietly, secretively.

“Sure!” the young boy chimed, mood lifting at the prospect of being let in on something interesting.

Sungmin felt queasy at the remembrance of the last time Ryeowook had gambled. Then again, maybe something bad wouldn’t happen this time. Nonetheless, Sungmin followed them, watching as Ryeowook joined the large circle of third years and took the deck of cards, dealing out a new game of Poker.

“Oh hell no,” YoungSaeng muttered, backing out of the game.

“What’s the matter?” one of them asked, raising an eyebrow at the severe look on his friend’s face.

KyuJong’s eyes widened and he backed out of the game as well, throwing the cards down. “Oh shit, I almost forgot.”

Ryeowook ignored their fearful looks, humming as he looked over his cards calmly. “Who’s in?” he asked, glancing at each curious face. All of them nodded slightly, shooting YoungSaeng and KyuJong weird looks. Ryeowook grinned and pushed all of his given chips into the center of the table, “All in.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” a gruffer third year snorted, shaking his head, “you know you’re gonna owe us…like all of your meal tickets when we get back to school.” Since none of them – as reform school students – had money, they were betting their meal rations which was just as scary as actually giving up money for them.

Ryeowook simply smiled and tapped the table expectantly.

Once everyone had deduced the cute boy was bluffing and went all in, YoungSaeng burst out in bitter laughter, almost pitying laughter actually. “You guys are so screwed.”

“He never bluffs,” KyuJong muttered, sighing knowingly.

Ryeowook set his hand down on the table. “I win!” he stated sweetly.

And yes, he did win. He always won.

“No way…,” the gruff one breathed, heart dropping.

“That’s ridiculous,” another mumbled.

“Why didn’t you warn us?” a third snapped at the two boys who knew about Ryeowook.

YoungSaeng shrugged, “You shouldn’t underestimate people that look weak.”

“Don’t worry, you can keep your meal tickets,” Ryeowook giggled, “I just like playing cards.” He looped an arm around Henry’s shoulders saying, “Hey, do you want me to teach you how to do what I just did?”

The innocent boy’s eyes brightened. “Yeah! How’d you do that?”

And then the fight to learn Ryeowook’s secret was on. Sungmin smiled, leaning against the wall.

 

Nocturnal animals chirped and whistled in the garden of the beach house. A dark night sky poured over Ryeowook as he swung his legs back and forth on the low lying porch, bare feet touching the very tips of deep green grass.

Everyone was snoring or snuggling into themselves in the main room, dreaming serenely in the peaceful night. He had to admit, it was very different from a night of drinking. There was no overpowering scent of alcohol or the sound of random shuffling as someone awoke to the painful urge to puke. Instead, everything was…pure. Ryeowook smiled wistfully. Pure and innocent were words he never thought he would use to describe YoungSaeng’s band of ultra misfits.

“You’re still up?” Sungmin dropped down beside Ryeowook, leaning over to eye the boy.

He chuckled silently, bumping Sungmin’s shoulder. “I like the night time. It’s so peaceful.”

“Maybe around here,” the black haired boy murmured, “back at the academy it’s pretty scary with all those dark trees and creeping animals.”

“The ocean makes everything better, huh?” Ryeowook remarked.

“I guess so,” he answered. A silence passed between them as both fell back into their own thoughts. Some insurmountable amount of time passed before Sungmin turned to Ryeowook, saying rather abruptly, “How did you learn to play cards like that?”

“Excuse me?” the red head cocked his head.

“I’ve been trying to figure it out since that time you gambled all of your money back,” Sungmin sighed, shoulders slumping, “but I give up. Just tell me Wookie!”

Ryeowook snickered, dropping his head down on Sungmin’s awkwardly angled shoulder. “You’ve never played cards with Kyuhyun have you?”

“Why would I ever play that with _him?_ ” he huffed, cheeks puffing out.

“If you play with him sometime, you’ll understand,” Ryeowook answered absently, eyes trailing around the almost dreamscape like garden. The sound of waves hitting the shore echoed in the distance.

“Hey Ryeowook…can I ask you something about Kyuhyun?” Sungmin asked oh-so tentatively.

“…Hmm?”

An answer wasn’t given though as Ryeowook heard a door open and shut. He jolted upright, feeling his chest suddenly pounding. Although it was just a pang…he couldn’t ignore it. “Did you hear that Sungmin?” Ryeowook whispered urgently, getting to his feet and gazing off towards the interior of the house.

“It’s probably just someone using the bathroom,” Sungmin said, hoping that would be the end of discussion. It wasn’t.

Ryeowook picked his way through the slumbering piles of boys, making his way towards the front door. His paranoia was answered as he saw the potted plant sitting on the side table fall back to its original position. “Someone just left…”

“What’s wrong?” Sungmin whispered, taking Ryeowook’s hand.

The latter turned on the light in the main room, counting heads. There were two missing. Ryeowook frowned, immediately realizing who wasn’t there. A few people grumbled, awakening from their sleep to see who had turned on the light, but Ryeowook was already pulling Sungmin out the front door in pursuit of Henry and YoungSaeng.

It wasn’t a rational decision. Sometimes following a feeling was for the best. Maybe someone up there was looking out for their little band. Ryeowook had always been protective of Henry. That’s why he personally understood the fears pulsating through his body. It didn’t matter if YoungSaeng was trustworthy. There were some things you just can’t let slide and one of those things was taking little Henry out in the middle of the night for who knew what.

 

“Are you sure about this?” YoungSaeng asked, unsure. He gazed at the young violinist who was bounding up the rocky terrain, instrument in hand.

Henry turned around and grinned. “Wookie-hyung likes everything I compose so I wanted someone else’s opinion. So is it okay with you if I show you the piece I’m working on, YoungSaeng-hyung?”

“Yeah, it’s fine…,” the third year trailed off, looking around, hands stuffed in pockets.

“Thank you!” Henry cheered, quickly positioning the violin against his neck and cheek, eyes lowering over the strings. The precious child vanished right before YoungSaeng’s eyes, replaced by the presence of a world-renowned prodigy. The change was so quick, he almost didn’t catch it. But more than that, it was shocking to see such a thing first hand.

He had seen all of the videos and pictures of Henry performing but seeing it live…was absolutely indescribable.

The sounds produced varied from sharp to soft, long to short but all of it was woven together with an underlying somberness. It was captivating the way he moved from sadness to anger and then briefly to hope – hope that was crushed by the raw, staccato notes. Henry’s eyes shut, a wrinkle forming between his brows and illuminated by the stunningly bright moon dangling overhead.

“What’s that shit killing my mood?” a slurred voice demanded.

Henry stopped playing, eyes popping open at the interruption. His older companion turned around, seeing a pair of drunkards approaching them.

“I _said_ what’s that _shit killing my mood?_ ” he repeated, throwing a beer bottle onto a pile of rocks. Dark liquid splashed across the rough resource.

“We wuz havin’ a good ol’ time before yur shitty ass _music_ startin’ playin’!” the other man growled, shoving YoungSaeng harshly.

The boy staggered, unprepared for the sudden strike. “Yo, what the fuck—” he began but then saw the other drunken man had approached Henry. YoungSaeng sharply pushed his attacker away, dashing over to where Henry was backing closer and closer to the low cliff’s ledge.

“Y’know fucking talentless kiddies like you should be sleepin’ not _fucking annoying us grown folk!_ ” he roared, throwing his arm out wildly, palm out and connecting with the small boy’s cheek.

Caught off guard, Henry lost hold of his violin, flying sideways as his heels slipped off the edge…

 


	34. Chapter 34

“People often times say life moves slower during those crucial moments...”

_YoungSaeng leapt over the edge of the cliff as Ryeowook and Sungmin ran up to the scene. They screamed out to him, confused and crazed at the state of chaos. Two bewildered men were peering over the ledge, seeming to no comprehend what was happening._

“…but they’re wrong. When people say time stops, they’re just trying to make a better story for their friends, for themselves. I’m not here to lie to all of you though. Time doesn’t stop. It keeps on going…”

_There was a resounding splash as Ryeowook gazed down into the dark waters his roommate had fallen into. “What just happened?!” he cried, whirling around to look desperately at Sungmin. “Call 911!”_

_Behind them, the two men who had witnessed the incident were staggering away, bored with the events they didn’t understand. However, Sungmin was in front of them before they could escape, punching one in the stomach while he kicked the other one to the floor. “Thank god for being a foster kid,” he muttered, chucking the pair aside and dialing the police._

“…no matter how much we would like to take a moment to breathe. It isn’t a movie. There are no black outs where you don’t have to watch the main character panic and look stupid.”

_Ryeowook ran back down the cliff, chest heaving and tears flying. It wasn’t conscious crying. They had come before he knew they were there._

“You can’t make something scary and tragic beautiful. Even if you add music and freeze frames the truth is...”

_Sand flew up all around him, some getting in his eyes as he fought to get to the shoreline. There was no one in sight as waves lapped at his ankles quietly. There were no disturbances as he looked around frantically for YoungSaeng._

_A thought occurred to Ryeowook then. Where was Henry? Wasn’t he with YoungSaeng? Or had he gone off on his own and YoungSaeng went looking for him?_

“…when it happens, it happens. Sometimes you’ll be lucky though and get a chance to fix everything and you have to grasp it without hesitation.”

_Ryeowook splashed further into the dark ocean, voice hoarse as he screamed their names over and over again. Sobs broke the words, accompanying the torrent of tears mixing with the water._

_“Going in too won’t help!” Sungmin yelled, wrapping his arms around Ryeowook’s waist, forcing him back to land writhing and shouting. “You can’t do anything if you can’t even see!”_

_“He could be dead, Sungmin!” Ryeowook’s released an ear-curdling cry, body lurching forward, fingers at air._

_Just then, the waves were interrupted by a dark object breaking its surface. The figure half dragged, half walked out of the water, a smaller and equally shadowed thing holding on._

_Ryeowook stared disbelievingly. “Y-YoungSaeng…?” he croaked, slipping from Sungmin’s loosened hold and catching the older boy as he fell into the shallow end._

_Red and blue lights flashed along with piercing sirens in the near distance. Sungmin looked up at it and started waving his arms and yelling for help._

_“Henry?” Ryeowook shook both of the barely conscious boys, body shaking terribly as he tried to ascertain their conditions, “HENRY?! YOUNGSAENG?!?”_

_Paramedics ran onto the scene, quickly loading the now unconscious pair onto stretchers and quickly transporting them to ambulances waiting on the road._

“But don’t take me wrong here. I’m not saying I know everything…”

_“Can you tell me what happened?” a police officer asked as gently as possible, handing Ryeowook a cup of steaming coffee._

_The boy was still shaking, the blanket doing little to warm his ice cold body. “I…I didn’t come fast enough,” he murmured hoarsely, “I saw YoungSaeng jump and that was it…”_

_“Do you know why your two friends were out this late?”_

_He shook his head no._

_“And why did you go after them?”_

_“…I had a bad feeling...it was instinct to go looking for them,” Ryeowook answered sullenly._

“…I can only say these things to all of you because I was one of the worst.”

_Sungmin pulled Ryeowook into a hug, feeling his friend starting to cry and wail into his shoulder._

_The ambulance had allowed them to ride along and they sat before the two battered and bleeding boys. Ryeowook clutched Sungmin’s backside, eyes squeezed shut. “No more, Sungmin,” he whispered between sobs, “no more drinking. I’m done…I don’t want to be like them.”_

_“Ah…I don’t want you to be like them either,” he breathed unevenly._

_Neither of them needed to be there to get an idea of what happened. If YoungSaeng dove in to save Henry, then it was surely meant the two drunken men were involved._

“I’m standing here because I want to change. I want to show even a small part of the world that I’ve made enough mistakes…”

_Henry’s manager had driven all of the boys to the hospital, the group of sleepy teens bursting into the Emergency Room waiting area. They were asking question after question without care for coherency._

_Ryeowook didn’t answer any of them though. He stayed quiet, knees pulled to chest as he stared at the doors separating him from YoungSaeng and Henry._

_“Have you heard anything?” the violinist’s manager asked Ryeowook._

_“No.”_

“…and experienced enough heartache to truly be a leader.”

_The light switched off and Ryeowook got up, heart pounding harshly as he waited for the doctor to come meet them. A minute passed and then the door swung open._

_A man pulled down a medical mask, wiping his tired face with one hand. “Who would you like to hear about first?” the doctor asked, coming up to Henry’s manager, Ryeowook and Sungmin._

_“Henry Lau,” the manager blurted._

_“His injuries were lessened due to Heo YoungSaeng shielding him as they impacted the water’s surface. Henry did however fracture his ankle on part of the cliff side during the fall.”_

_“What about YoungSaeng?” Ryeowook asked, looking up at the doctor expectantly._

_“…He suffered a slight concussion, heavy bruising, and mild lacerations along his legs and backside, most likely from hidden rocks beneath the water.” The doctor smiled grimly, “The boy is quite tough though. He regained consciousness soon after we finished working on him. I believe you can go visit both of them in the morning.”_

“You see, I don’t think any leader who hasn’t been the lowest of the low can really be a good leader…”

_KyuJong’s fist slammed into Ryeowook’s cheek, sending the boy crashing into the wall. Sungmin shoved the third year, ready to beat the shit out of him._

_“No, Sungmin!” Ryeowook shouted, holding his stinging face. The black haired boy froze, turning confused eyes to his friend. “…What is it KyuJong?”_

_“If you hadn’t brought along that little kid then we wouldn’t even be in this mess!” he screamed, face red with fury, “IT’S YOUR ENTIRE FAULT THAT MY BEST FRIEND ALMOST DIED TONIGHT!”_

_Ryeowook said nothing, listening to the older boy vent his anger._

“…maybe I’m wrong but maybe I’m right. Maybe I’ll be the person to reach even the ones who aren’t listening to these words. I don’t want to redeem myself though…”

_“C’mon Ryeowook,” Sungmin whispered, trying to pull the boy onto his feet, “you don’t have to listen to him. He’s wrong—”_

_“—it’s okay,” Ryeowook interrupted, gingerly pulling his hand away from the swelling and bleeding bruise, “I had a part in it. If I could’ve moved faster…if I hadn’t brought Henry along then all of this could’ve been avoided.”_

“I want to live bearing my mistakes and carrying on with the person I’ve found within myself. This past year has been enough to show me that I’ve grown and developed into someone others could someday look up to…”

_Sungmin could only stare in shock at his friend’s change in attitude. “Wookie…?”_

_“I think I understand…,” he smiled wryly, wincing at the pain in his face, “…a little more about everything. So I’ll be okay…even without you comforting me.”_

“…so to the ones who pushed me here, I want to say I’m thankful and happy that you dealt with me…”

_The hospital room was brightly lit as the pale blue of dawn seeped through the open window. YoungSaeng peered over at Henry, a small sigh of relief escaping him. “Thank the fucking gods,” he muttered, coughing and jerking a bit._

_“Stop talking idiot,” KyuJong snapped, though his eyes were smiling with warmth, “you have a concussion so chill out.” He turned at the sound of Ryeowook behind him. A silent apology passed through his lips as he patted the younger boy’s shoulder and headed towards the door, pushing all of the half-asleep boys back out._

_“Did you save us?” YoungSaeng mumbled, grinning crookedly._

“…although you were called a lot of horrible things and people probably think you’re a bad influence, I couldn’t argue more.”

_“Maybe it’s the other way around…,” Ryeowook said under his breath._

_“What?”_

_“Nothing,” he replied, touching his roommate’s hand and gently squeezing._

“In the beginning I was waiting for specific people to save me…”

_“Let’s break up,” YoungSaeng stated, returning the affectionate hand squeeze with a weak force._

_Ryeowook chuckled, “That was a good week and a half, huh?”_

_A sheepish grin flashed on the bedridden boy’s lips. “Yeah, you were a good boyfriend while it lasted.”_

_“So who are you leaving me for?” He nudged his head towards the sleeping Henry, earning a glare from his ex. “Sorry, I guess you don’t want to talk about it,” Ryeowook stifled a snicker._

_“Whatever, I dumped you so don’t take that feeling of control away,” YoungSaeng grumbled teasingly._

“…but the one who saved me was also the one who dragged me down. I guess it’s sort of funny how things work out.”

_Sungmin was waiting outside of the hospital room. He turned his head as Ryeowook emerged. “How did things go?” he prompted softly._

_“Well, what do you mean?” Ryeowook asked, getting out of the way so the group of third years could get through to bother YoungSaeng._

_“Everything…really….”_

_“I’m single again,” he replied, “and I’m done…with everything.”_

_“Does that mean you’re looking for something new?” Sungmin entwined their fingers, eyes wavering as he waited for an answer from his best friend._

_Ryeowook flushed, enjoying the fresh thrumming warmth in his chest, “…yeah…I guess it does, Minnie…”_

“I mean, look! Three months ago I would’ve never thought of standing on this platform delivering a speech as the new Student Government President.” He smiled and bowed low to the student body staring up at him. When he straightened, the soon-to-be third year folded his speech up, tucked it into his pocket and looked out at the sea of people. “So...nice to meet you all. I’m Kim Ryeowook.”

 

_To be continued…_


End file.
